15 Reasons He Doesn’t Want Sex

The Ebbs and Flows of His Sex Drive

Men are supposed to be virile, energetic, and up for sex at anytime. The one time they don’t seem to want to make love is when they’re sick—and they have to be pretty sick. But this isn’t quite true. There are plenty of reasons why men push women away, and it doesn’t always have to be a really bad thing. Here are 16 reasons why he doesn’t want to sleep with you.

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1. He’s Sleep Deprived
A current trend these days is to get more done by getting less sleep. But men need 7 to 8 hours in order for all their organs to function properly—including their reproductive organs. Even if the mind is willing, the body isn’t always able.

2. He’s Stressed
Stress is as destructive as lack of sleep, and unfortunately they go hand in hand. So a man who sleeps poorly due to stress won’t be in the mood for physical intimacy.

3. He’s Addicted
In order to deal with a lack of sleep and plenty of stress, some men will turn to caffeine, drugs or alcohol to get by. While these may temporarily boost the feel-good receptors in his brain, they also dumb down any feel-good potential between his legs.

4. He’s Afraid of Commitment
Some men fear commitment because it means being with the same woman for the rest of their lives. The idea of having no new sexual partners can be frightening and boring. And if they’ve been with the same partner for a while, the sex might not be as exciting as it once was, leading some men to crave it less.

5. He Can’t Read Your Signals
You may think your intentions are clear, but some men aren’t good at reading signals. You may have to hit him over the head with your desire for him before he understands that you want to sleep with him.

6. He Focuses All His Energy On One Thing
If he is ultra focused on a goal, like getting a promotion at work or training hard at the gym, he’s putting all his energy in one basket. Something is bound to go by the wayside—his hobbies, his health, his sleep or his sex life.

7. He’s In the Dog House
Arguments between a couple can lead to great make-up sex. But if the relationship is constantly unbalanced, or he is angry, he may remove himself from all forms of intimacy.

8. He’s Not in the Mood
Research suggests that men get turned on quicker than women, but that isn’t always true. Some men need to be stimulated physically, mentally and emotionally before they can sleep with their partners.

9. He’s Not Happy With His Body
Good sex has a lot to do with self-confidence. If a man isn’t happy with his body—he’s put on a bit of weight for example—he may not feel like being intimate. True, self-confidence is not necessarily size or weight specific, but a man who doesn’t love his body won’t be interested in sharing it intimately.

10. He’s Bored
Anything predictable isn’t much fun. Sex can start to feel like work if people in committed relationships don’t change things up and keep it fresh. If a man is bored with sex, he is less likely to have it.

11. He’s Taking Prescription Medication
If he’s taking prescription medication, chances are it’s for a good reason. And while prescription drugs have many health benefits, some can wreck a man’s libido. Not only could they deplete his interest, they could also prevent him from performing.

12. He Doesn’t Need That Much
For some men, quality outweighs quantity, so they would rather have great sex less often than okay sex frequently. If you require sex more often than he does, you may be in the wrong relationship.

13. He’s Cheating On You
It could be that he is getting sex elsewhere. Not all men are meant for commitment or monogamy. If he’s looking for sex outside of your relationship, chances are he’s not the commitment type.

14. He’s Watching too Much Pornography
If he is being overstimulated by unrealistic portrayals of sex and women, he may be less interested in having sex with his partner. It’s just easier to focus on satisfying himself when he doesn’t have to worry about a partner’s pleasure too.

15. He’s Getting Old
Young men have testosterone that keeps them interested in sex—they want it and they want it often. But as men age, their testosterone levels drop, possibly making them less interested in sex than their younger counterparts.

Sex is Only One Kind of Intimacy

Long-term relationships have multiple forms of intimacy—sex is just one form. If your partner’s sex drive is dwindling, many things could be causing it. But a man’s sex drive, like a woman’s, naturally has ebbs and flows, so don’t freak out if you’re not as hot and heavy as you used to be. If you’re concerned, gently bring up the lack of sex in your relationship to your partner and see where the conversation goes. Sex is an important part of any romantic relationship, but it’s not the only important part.

7 thoughts on “15 Reasons He Doesn’t Want Sex

  1. Dondi

    What if you don’t even turn him on anymore but he says you do but it’s plan to see that i do nothing to arouse him

    Reply
  2. michelle

    What if a woman feels that she wasn’t loved and all she was wanted for was just sex? Sometimes men don’t realize that a woman love’s a man all the time and feels he only loves her if she is willing to have sex and that’s the only time he Look’s at her… A woman that love’s a man will love him though bad or good and all the time, not just on day’s she is willing to open her legs.. Being a woman that has lost her only true love to someone else and always willing to fight to get it back no matter what she has to do but she must know that this man love’s her and only her..

    Reply
  3. Nikki Elgersma

    This was very helpful even though I kinda already knew all of the possibilities but it’s always better to hear someone eles saying it.

    Reply
  4. Cory

    How about he has asked for sex almost daily for years and has been rejected almost daily except for maybe once or twice a month for years and now he has grew tired of being rejected and put off and now his ego has been destroyed so when it is offered to him he doesn’t believe he is really desired and has little interest in getting excited about the possibility of having sex just to get the proverbial rug pulled back out from under him when she changes her mind at the last second because she realizes she is tired or decides to pick a fight with him right then because of something he said 2 years ago that she just remembered bothered her…the number 1 reason a man losses interest in a woman is because of her attitude. I work 12-15 hours a day 6 days a week and she works 6 hours a day 3 days a week and she is too tired most days…yeah…I get it.

    Reply
  5. A. McPherson

    My bf and I care a lot about each other, but he can’t get pass the issue of us not having great sex, so he ended the relationship.

    Reply

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