In the dating world where technology has both expanded the opportunities for love and for mistakes, offering up infinite choices, there are still some basic rules of dating.
1. Dating a Friend’s Ex. It’s never okay to hook up with a friend’s ex without checking with them first. Whether it’s been a year or a few days, if you are a real friend, you will give your friend the courtesy of vetoing this course of action. Even if your friend seems over their ex, you don’t need to start a new relationship with bad karma.
2. Drinking on the First Date. We all get nervous, and alcohol can loosen up your inhibitions, but getting drunk on a first date can advance the relationship into an area you never intended and end it before it even gets a chance to take root.
3. Dating History. As Renee Zellweger’s Dorothy character said to Tom Cruise’s Jerry Maguire “let’s not share our sad stories.” She was right. There is no need to lament and go into massive details about your past relationships. Focus on the person you are with instead of going to a negative place that will quickly lose the other person’s interest.
4. Turn Off the Technology! When you are on a date you should be present. Turn your cell phone to vibrate if you can’t turn it off completely. Pay attention to the person who wants to explore who you are instead of texting every moment of your date. If you don’t have time to pay attention to a date because of a work, babysitting or health issue, then reschedule it. No one wants to feel like they are second to you checking in on social media updates.
5. Suspend Your Deal Breakers. Get to know a person before you decide that a difference in opinion or lifestyle is a deal breaker. First figure out if you are attracted to them and you want to know them more.
6. Don’t Make Decisions Based on a Collection of Opinions. If you are trying to decide whether to give someone another chance or break-up, you need to listen to your own heart, not a collection of opinions. Only you know how you really feel about another person. Why leave your love life up to someone else?
7. Declaring Feelings Too Early. It might be natural and easy with someone you just started dating. The sparks at the beginning of a relationship are very powerful. There’s no need to declare your intentions of solidifying a marriage proposal two or three dates in, if you want it to go any further. It’s too frightening and too much pressure for a man or a woman.
8. Avoid Being a Conversation Hog. When you dominate the conversation, it shows a lack of interest in the other person. Make sure that if you’ve just told a story, you give your date a chance to share a story with you. If you’re not interested in listening to their story, you’re not interested in them, and should end the date. Call your mother instead, because she loves every minute you talk to her about your life.
9. Lie. If you pretend to be someone or like something you do not and you end up with this person, you will have to stick to what you said. If you are not seriously interested in someone but then wind up dating them and having a relationship, those lies will come back to haunt you.
10. Dumping Your Friends for Your New Love Interest. If you get so wrapped up in the person you are dating for five minutes that your friends are ready to put out a missing person’s report, take a step back. You need to maintain some balance in your life and have interests outside of a relationship.
What are your tips on what NOT to do on a date?
6 thoughts on “10 Dating Don’ts”
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Since, my divorce, I have had so many marriage proposals, it is scary. It has been about 9 months. Frankly, I am running for the door, before they finish the sentance. I am female, I will not get married again, I am not going to be anyone’s sucker again.
These are the usual tips. And while I agree to a large extend, I also must admit that I have been guilty of violating some of them in the past. To be specific, I have never really been good with number 3 and 7. It is difficult for me to even grasp the concept of dating, because no one in Germany dates.
I have lived here for 18 years and still don’t get the concept of it. Luckily, my husband had no issues with me being the way that I am. But honestly, I would probably be terrible out there in the dating world.
Great tips…….. The # 7 tip will scare a man away in a blink of an eye!
Declaring your feelings too early will send him away faster than the speed of light!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!
My male clients tell me that # 3 tip is a major turn-off too.
Blessed Be )O(
Gina Rose ext.9500
Thanks for an excellent article. Each and every one of these points is very important to remember.
I’d like to add that bringing along a brochure or information about your company on a first date may be a way to explain more about who you are and what you do, but it can be misinterpreted as being too interested in career to balance with a personal life or even the prelude to leading up to a solicitation to “invest”. Hold on to that information for the 4th or 5th date or later.
It’s my personal opinion that dating a friend’s ex is rarely going to be a situation wherein it doesn’t affect the friendship, so please think twice about that, and definitely reinforce the point about suspending your deal breakers. Many of my clients have reported they found their life partner when their deal breakers or “list” was suspended.