Why Do I Still Feel a Connection?

From time to time, callers to California Psychics touch on matters that I have personally been giving thought to. One of these matters is why we still feel a connection to someone from a past love affair, even though the love affair may have turned out, we feel, badly. It would make sense to forget the person, to want to forget the person, to do one’s best to eradicate the feelings and knowledge of that past relationship.

One caller told me that she had moved on after a 15-year marriage that had ended in a bitter divorce. She said that she had found someone new that she was very happy with, and would under no circumstances return to her old mate. So why did she think periodically about him? What were the reasons behind this? Would she ever be able to stop thinking of him?

I believed her. I believed that she was now happy and would never consider returning to the relationship in the past. I could also tell that she was going to continue to be happy in the new relationship. But she would always continue to think of the old person from time to time.

This makes sense when we think of the energy and time that we have expended on that certain person and period of our life. For some years (or months or weeks), the greatest focus was on that individual. We learned much about them—the way they thought, what they wanted, what their moral standards were, the predictability of their emotional responses. We had, in effect, memorized more information about them than perhaps any other person in our lives. They were our #1 interest, and we formed a habit in considering them in relationship to everything else in our lives. Our work time, leisure time, holidays, home life and so forth, had all been conducted with this individual in mind. For the most part, we ate the foods that they liked, went to places they enjoyed and in general “tuned” our lives to be in sync with theirs.

One belief of mine, also, is that when we’re in a physically intimate relationship, that we, as women, tend to give a bit of our hearts to accompany the physical involvement. It’s who we are. For a brief while, we feel “merged” with another.

When all of these factors are taken into consideration, it would actually be more surprising if we did totally forget a past love. Because no matter how badly the relationship turned out, no matter how badly we feel we were treated, for a while we did strive to be totally connected with another. We can remake our lives, our habits, our goals for a relationship, but we will forever remember that, for a while, we did endeavor to become one with another individual. And that’s a connection that will never totally fade.

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3 thoughts on “Why Do I Still Feel a Connection?

  1. Rose Cocca

    am i reading this right about past boyfriends..they are GONE out of my life..i dont think about them anymore..my past is gone and so are they..i think of them once in awhile..dont forget i grew up with them since i learn how to walk…i love what i have now..and that is true love…xoox

  2. aimee

    I agree and I believe there is even more. I believe there really ARE stings. When we are physically intimate with someone we do create an energetic ‘string’ a cord, a connection with an ongoing exchange. The more connection, the deeper the cord. Some relationships become a part of our energy field, a part of us. As a tantrica intuitive energy healer I can see, soften, remove, calm, adjust these energetic cords depending on what is needed in that instance.
    The phrase ‘No Strings Attached’ could not be less true.


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