What Men Expect on a First Date

Men have expectations on the first date other than sex: appreciation, personality, how you take care of yourself, conversation and feedback.

It’s Not Always About Sex!

One of the greatest misunderstandings between men and women is what each other wants. Yes, we all want love, sex, romance, happiness, and success. However, we do have slightly different expectations as to how a first date should begin and end. Now, I may still be trying to figure out what women want, but I do have a pretty good idea of what most guys are looking for, and it not necessarily what women think it is.

He Wants to Know This is a First Date

Let’s be honest. Most guys are just happy to be on a first date. What I am really saying is they expect it to feel like a date, and not an outing with a friend. Keeping it casual is okay, but guys want to believe their pinky is at least halfway into the lingerie drawer (so to speak).

He’s Looking for a Sense of Appreciation

I don’t think the problem here lies with a woman who is not appreciative of a date who is paying, but I don’t think women always understand how they are supposed to react. A lot of young guys seem to mention the fake grab for the bill as an appreciated move. However, I am of the more old-fashioned variety who believes a simple smile and “thank you” should be all that is necessary.

He Just Wants to Get to Know Your Personality

Guys want to know about your life. However, most prefer to start with your personality, and then move to your biography at a later date. In other words, keep any reiteration of your life story short. Guys are really only interested in the details of where you grew up and what kind of cookies your Grammy used to bake after they’ve established a rapport with you. In the beginning, most guys will appreciate anecdotal, or humorous stories that establish you have a fun personality.

He Wants to Smell You

Studies suggest that a good portion of men prefer organic scents over the more exotic ones. A guy’s brain is quite prehistoric when it comes to sniffing out the perfect set of genes and hormones to compliment him. This is why most guys prefer the natural scent of lavender, apple, or pumpkin, as they still provide access to your own smell. However, don’t get too carried away with any fragrance.

He Wants You to Have a Good Time

Part of being easy-going on a first date is being open to trying new things. If he asks what you want to do, and you do have a preference, by all means let him know. He really does want to make you happy. However, I will just mention, sometimes trying something completely new is the better option, as that “fish out of water” feeling can help bolster fun conversation.

He Wants to Feel Like the Date Was an “Event”

Most guys don’t care who designed your outfit, but they will care about the amount of effort that appears to have gone into getting ready. I’m not suggesting you overdo it, but just make sure there are enough visible signs to show you care.

He Wants You to Himself

Most guys want you all to themselves. They don’t want to be competing for your attention. This means  leave your smart phone off, or at least  let us know if you are expecting a call or text. This will go a long way in making us feel important.

He Wants Engaging Conversation

I think that some women don’t engage in certain conversations because they really don’t know what to say. Chances are, if he is talking about it, it is important to him, so go ahead and ask questions. Don’t worry, you won’t sound dumb; you’ll sound interested. The reason this is important is because guys gauge a girl’s interest based on how much she engages in his conversation. This is a subtle way of telling him that he’s making a good impression.

He Wants to be Clued in on When to Round First Base

A handful of guys feel awkward making the first move on a date. They don’t want to appear too anxious. Rather than wonder why he hasn’t tried to hold your hand or kiss you, most experts recommend breaking the ice by making the first move. This can be as simple as taking his hand while walking, or placing your hand on his knee while talking. Ladies, you can make the first move, and with advice from Psychic Teagan ext. 5318 you can get him to first base on the first date!

He Expects to Receive Some Sort of Grade on His Date Performance

This is another way of describing the hug, kiss or clammy handshake he will receive at the end of the date. Guys want to know if you are interested. This isn’t an all-or-nothing thing, as most guys are happy with the idea that she is at least moderately attracted to him. Believe it or not, it is “the look” a guy is given in these final moments that will often make up his mind as to whether or not he is going to call her again.

26 thoughts on “What Men Expect on a First Date

  1. rose

    Thats good, am confuse cause there this boy that i meet at school, date for six years, even talk of marriage then turn to say he cancelled it because of his parent so i should go ahead to look for someone cause he cant disappoint his mother especially this because we are not of thesame nalinality. So what should i do?

  2. Teri

    This is actually good info…
    obviously a pleasent experience for both is ideal.
    All said… that certain feeling needs to be there.

  3. Lola

    Haha some interesting comments here. You know, we all have various issues and hang ups. Recognizing and letting go can be a long process, but in the end, hopefully you’ll be a more integral person and first dates wil just flow. At least that is how it has happened for me, kinda just like this article recommends. (And believe me, I’ve attracted my share of losers while on this journey. Actually meeting cool, stable guys now and not desperate for a relationship)

  4. Lola

    Haha some interesting comments here. You know, we all have various issues and hang ups. Recognizing and letting go can be a long process, but in the end, hopefully you’ll be a more integral person and first dates wil just flow. At least that is how it has happened for me, kinda just like this article recommends. (And believe me, I’ve attracted my share of losers while on this journey. Actually meeting cool, stable guys now and not desperate for a relationship)

  5. Lily W.

    Ugh. So you’re saying the girl shouldn’t talk too much about herself, but she should be engaging by asking him more questions about his interests. What? Lame.

  6. Diane Clark

    Let nature take it’s course! what ever happens, happens. you are the only one in control of your life, not others. life is too short so enjoy people.

  7. Nini

    Uck. I never liked to kiss on a first date. It’s usually the first day I know them and even if I find them attractive I don’t want to get that close to them when I know so little about them and I’m not comfortable yet. I really don’t like guys fishing for a first kiss on the end of first date and then being upset. I’m fine with a hug but can we leave the kissing and stuff for another time? And yes, I know there are girls who do worse on a first date. I’d really like for things I start out with friendship though, not immediate stuff.

  8. mildred nolan

    You didn’t really say what the guy wants from his first date. How about good
    conversation? How about enough interest in you to ask questions about job?
    How about a favorite something?

  9. Deborah Williams

    The best things in life are free. It has nothing to do with the economy; that is just an excuse.
    Most women I know ascribe to the “3rd Date Rule” (Google it). If you are not romantic/intimate by the third date it just is not happening……. she probably wants a “buddy” in you to hang out with……

  10. David D. Baker

    i have a buddy/good friend she is everything i want in a women ! We do everything that you mentioned but, she says that we are not dating ! Well, she a Capricorn and i’m a Virgo ! I’ve been told that the way she acts is normal for a Cap female ! Any experience that someone can help me with ! If me and her never jump into bed it would be ok because such a great friend ! A great tease ! I’m this bad ecconomy she says that we can’t afford go foreward !

  11. Randy

    I would like to get the persons number that wrote this sounds like someone I graduated grammer school with. I could never figure this out, no tobacco at all.

  12. Randy

    I believe I’ll go with Larry the cable guy and ask if you want some tobacco that way if you don’t have anything to say at least you would have something to chew. Just wait in the truck I’ll be rite back or send someone. I know I’m one sick dude. Not really but you girls out there looking good luck it’s like a big casino out here.

  13. jolene jensen

    Fantastic article Eric. In response to bradley: Men who think they are greater than look for lesser than women…AND visa versa…but for men and women who believe they are equal to each other the above mentioned things hit home base. I am not saying that you are wrong but this is where you are and the women you choose to be with where they are. Karmic energy finds what and who they need where they are now…SO there is no wrong answer. Blessings.

  14. Don

    Why is EVERY article on this web site female oriented?
    That and why are some… not all but some of the facts about men

  15. Barbara

    Thank you! Very good, well written article. Since I have not dated for 30+ years, these points to ponder are GREAT for me.

  16. bradley

    No! Only loser wussies want any of the above!

    The top dog real men already know what they want and don’t waste their time.
    We take control you are with us on a date because we wanted you there and to find out who you really are deep inside.

  17. A

    I think guys want to know you have a strong spirit – that spending time with you is engaging and fun and that you like them. Respond to their conversation and add your story in an interesting way so that when they think of you they think wow – what a fun, sexy time – not wow she is crazy, into herself and there is nowhere I want to go with this …


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