7 Things Men Will Never Get Right in Relationships

His Relationship Fails

It has taken me many years to realize that the things I do wrong in relationships, I do over and over again. I used to think it was only me, but it turns out that most women are with men who constantly make the same mistakes. So when it comes to relationships, men have to dig themselves out of the same hole time after time. Yes, there are just some things we will never get right in relationships. Here are seven of them:

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We Seem Detached

A lot of men deal with rejection by detaching themselves from the outcome. This helps to maintain their confidence during the ups and downs of the dating game. So when a man approaches a woman he finds attractive, he’s going to seem disinterested—like it doesn’t matter to him if she agrees to a date or not. This sounds like a great plan and it might help with the jitters that accompany talking to a stranger, but it’s not all that appealing to women. Women generally seems to prefer men who embrace their insecurities rather than those who try to play it cool. While it may be more uncomfortable for a man, women tend to find it charming and complimentary. They want to feel like saying yes to a date matters to the man asking.

We Try Helping When You Just Want Us to Listen

Healthy relationships are made up of people who help each other through life’s most difficult challenges. But when it comes to helping, men are better at fixing things than just listening with a caring and sympathetic ear. Yes, they get that your day was terrible, and they think they can make it better by fixing it, even if that’s not what you want. Fixing is easier than listening for most men. But often, women just want their full and undivided attention.

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We Don’t See the Messes You See

You know that pile of dirty dishes in the sink and the mountain of dirty laundry next to the wash? It’s probably all you can see and think about when you come home. But you know who doesn’t see it? Your man! His dirty car and dusty golf clubs are another story, however. Studies suggest that men associate certain objects (a car, golf clubs, etc.) with their self-worth, so they’re more focused on taking care of those things than they are the dirty laundry. Conversely, women take more pride in their home and relationships, which is why you get mad when you come home to a messy kitchen and your man playing video games. Men have tunnel vision when it comes to all things fun, shiny and sexy and there is nothing sexy about dirty dishes!

We Think We Can Buy Your Love

Some men think they can buy love, rather than earn it or fight for it. That’s why they send drinks over, take you to a nice dinner or buy you jewelry. They often expect something in return, but not all women share their intention and this is where the confusion arises. A meal is often just a meal, and though women know the hard work that goes into earning money, the straightest path to their hearts is proving your valor in other ways. Try taking the time to impress them with your time, attention and compliments. Men spend a lot of time earning their fortunes, but they should also spend a good amount of time earning a woman’s respect.

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We Want a Lot of Credit for One Romantic Gesture

Many women don’t consider men to be romantic, which is hard to fathom because we do romantic things… once. If we sent you a dozen red roses a year ago, in our mind, we’re good for a while. Of course, women and men don’t have the same sense of time and space. For women, a man is only as romantic as his most recent gesture. So if it’s been a while since he’s done something romantic for you, chances are you don’t consider him romantic in nature. But men can be romantic every day. Small, loving gestures go a long way in relationships. They let women know someone finds  them beautiful and worth the effort.

We Maintain Our Relationships “As Needed”

When things are running smoothly, men tend to go into autopilot. The same holds true for our cars and our relationships. But when maintenance is required, we expend a lot of effort at once into whatever needs fixing, until it’s fixed and then we coast again. The problem is that relationships can’t be revamped once in a while, or after a certain amount of miles, like a car. Romantic relationships require constant attention and maintenance, even when things appear to be going well.

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We Won’t Compliment You Enough

No matter how much a man is attracted to a woman and no matter how much he adores her, he won’t always be forthcoming with his feelings. So even if a woman is loved, she won’t always feel beautiful, sexy and wanted. And if she’s not feeling those things, she may be less inclined to feel romantic and intimate with her partner. Yes, sometimes it takes more than the idea of her man standing before her in his boxer shorts to turn a woman on. If a man wants to turn a woman on, he needs to compliment her more. It makes a woman feel good about herself and if she’s feeling good about herself, chances are she is going to make her man feel good too!

26 thoughts on “7 Things Men Will Never Get Right in Relationships


    Thank you for your article. I myself have come across only one man in my life time that has instigated first instead of me all the time. The rest have all been very selfish, cold, and none romantic. Right now I have a friendship with 2 men one is romantic when he wants to be, but always cold. The other is also not romantic and does not show is emotions (cold fish) even when I instigate it, like holding hands etc. I myself am going to stop dating it is a waste of time and to much work. Men should know what women want by now don’t you think? It is just so disappointing and I am so tired of the same thing over and over again.

  2. araanza

    Congrats!! to Eric for this article is great how a men can be so confident, and talk about this!! What it would be great is just love and accept our men the way they are!! And see the faults, mistakes and bad habits, as a part of the person you love, and the qualities and good habits, the same way, we have to learn to love and respect our differences and learn from that!! Thank God we’re different cause, that’s exactly way we feel attracted to them!! For.me is so sexy when a men can lead, and protect you!! And when they are so sweet!! Cause they are they just don’t want their friends knowing that!! ,Lol we love that, so let’s accept them with all their “no sense” things!! After all they accept us with our emotional days as well!! 🙂

  3. ER Baecher

    These are generalizations. Everyone is different, and that includes men. As an example, I am frequently detached, and I’m a woman and willing to admit it.

  4. brenda

    why is it men can go out with men and feel comfortable and free to be. then they get a girlfriend and its another side they can’t relate to at all. maybe there ought to be a school all men have to take to know what really turns a woman on. help with everything 50/50. I don’t care if she is a housewife or works out. she needs COMPANIONSHIP. after all that’s the trigger. just being kind, considerate ,thoughtful[ and I don’t care if it’s 1 flower] cuddleing, good long meaningful hugs and etc. and don’t think about sex all the time and she might really want it then. CON TROL. use your real brain. I have been out with men that treated me so good, alot of respect. then others it’s all about them or the high way.be true to yourselves girls. they don’t have to be around, to change you. plenty of others. and some of us always want to fix them… no such thing, and shouldn’t be.

  5. Natalie AC

    Very well said, and I also agree that women can make these mistakes too. Men are sometimes very tunnel visioned, but with maturity sometimes they get the picture. It is definitely a releaf to hear that women aren’t the only ones needing to learn how to communicate with the opposite sex. So many women are not finding a mate for the reasons you’ve just discribed. No matter how hard I try to ignore when a men says or does the wrong thing, it still bothers me, so I know it’s no good to pretend it doesn’t matter. Thanks again!

  6. Cha

    Well thought-out and written. It was great for a change to see someone sharing advice / suggestions for how men should treat and reach out mentally to women, instead of advising women what men need!

  7. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Nice article, Eric and it is true that men just don’t view things the way that women do….and never will. Their brains are hard wired differently ( a fact ).

    And I really liked Suzanne Bigras posted comment that she stopped wanting her mate to be her best ” girl friend ” a long time ago. Now that’s a SMART woman !

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

  8. Mimi

    This was quite insightful. Unfortunately it most likely will not do anything to change men’s behavior, more likely will make women feel vindicated and maybe just give up. So, if we are supposed to be understanding and tolerant, basically perfect, then let’s have a write up on women, what they can’t change and expect men to tolerate. Seriously.

  9. Penny Hawkins

    I gave up trying. Most guys are too selfish where I live. I wish I could move but right now it’s not possible. Alot of what you’re saying is true. I just wish my sister had told me things like this when I was younger and foolish. Maybe I wouldn’t have made as many mistakes as I did.

  10. Pat

    Thanks so much for the information on “auto-pilot” Yes things are good, very good in our relationship. BUT why hasn’t he texted me today even to say hello! Because he knows things are good and he’s on auto pilot!! Now I get it! And this article tells me he isn’t indifferent, whew!
    thank you!

  11. Pixie Marshall

    Yes, I agree with this summary of men’s habits. Yes it’s true men fix things that is in their DNA. Love that part of them .
    Men love very deeply and we have to be very careful not to hurt their trust and includes not nagging them or tying to make them feel guilty by holding back our love to try and get our way. Be as warm and open at all times with your man. Tell him repeatedly thank you for any small jester he does. I find that by acknowledging them shows how much you value them and that you do not take them for granted. They want to please us and it builds their confidence in us. They will start to think of other ways to please because you value them and they don’t want to lose your
    Admiration of them. There is no relationship without respect and trust are the two major keys to a strong relationship. Another is don’t sweat the small stuff. Walk away if you have to and think before you say something. If you are really angry give it distance before you approach. Do not attack it will ruin his trust in you and belittle him. He is more fragile emotionally to our love than most women think. It’s not always what we say but how we say it that matters. Be kind to each other.

  12. Sal

    Wow that’s quite a generalization and insulting to me and most men!!! If you made negative comments about women (whack we all could) there would be some uproar. Personally I find it rude and degrading!!!!!!

  13. thomas hamilton


  14. mmdirtnerd@gmail.com

    Grin, such a great article!
    Funny thing is that men are not complimentary to women. But will boast up a storm to their peers.

  15. Deen

    Why is it that the man is the”bad guy”
    he does not do this, does not listen – bla bla bla

    Women are equally with faults, but for some reason they seem to be portrayed as “perfect”

    Let’s stop with this- look at ourselves and work on that- no more finger pointing

  16. Suzanne Bigras

    Truer words were never spoken.
    I believe that you may have enlightened a lot of confused men and women. It resonated in my core. My mate will have a good chuckle over this. We have worked on these male oriented views.
    The more I learn about the male thinking process the more I love the men that have been in my life. I stopped wanting my mate to be my best “girl friend” a long time ago and have learned to enjoy men for the male qualities that they have in abundance.
    Thanks for the reminder .
    Power Hug to ALL.


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