Never Trust Someone Who Does This

The six types of people you should never trust are those claiming to be experts, the know-it-all, bought with a high salary, the follower, act like someone else or who hasn’t confronted their demons.

A Few People to Be Wary Of

Journalist Eric Weiner traveled across the world, discovering what makes some nationalities happier than others. The key to a joyous life is undoubtedly love and trust. We need to be able to trust in our neighbors, government, family, spouse (relationships) and, most of all, ourselves. While there is no hard-and-fast rule to whom you can and can’t count on… here are a few suggestions.

1. Never Trust Someone Who Claims to Be an Expert

“All experts are only human—despite their marketing; humans do occasionally make mistakes,” says Richard Cheatham, an author and speaker from the Living History Association. “For this reason, one must have a healthy skepticism for experts.” Psychology professor Phillip Tetlock has demonstrated that most, so called, experts have a rating of proving to be correct, at about the same ratio of flipping a coin. If you really want to trust someone smart… hopefully, you can at least trust yourself; but then again…

2. Is a Know-it-All

Some people claim to have a mind like a steel trap. I’ve always wondered what this reference means. However, it doesn’t really matter, as we are all capable of deceit; even with ourselves. Albert Einstein once said, “The only source of knowledge is experience.” If this is true, then we are constantly building our intelligence with every memory we create. The only problem is that researchers have found our memories are mostly constructed of fact, coupled with a sprinkle of made-up narrative to fit our particular mood and/or need for that day. Consider when actor Tom Sizemore was found guilty of possessing a Whizzinator (prosthetic penis used to beat drug tests). He claimed it wasn’t his, stating that he preferred Tommy Hilfiger underwear, and not the crumpled up Calvin Klein’s the prosthetic was found inside. This was likely a mix of fact and fib that he whipped up to suit his goal of staying out of jail.

“Trust is so important in relationships and it can be a deal breaker when trust has been broken.” – Psychic Deejay ext. 5435

3. Has Been Bought by a High Salary

Employers (and the devil) know that most everyone has their price. “High salaries often are intended to purchase your intellectual independence,” says Cheatham. “The higher the numbers on the paycheck, the more likely [you’ll be] willing to bend the truth.” The leaders around the world with the most value, satisfaction, and self-esteem are not those who make the “highest paid” list. It’s the ones who maintain their intellectual independence as free thinkers.

4. Wears Their Pants on Their Crack

This may very well be a… ahem, great fashion statement; so please forgive my lack of taste. However, when droopy pants are faced with a serious decision, not all of them think for themselves. Why? It is because they are followers. Forty years ago, 100 participants were instructed by an authority figure to shock an innocent bystander as punishment for giving the wrong answer during a test. Despite screams of protest heard from the other room, over 60 percent of people followed instructions, and cranked up the voltage to a level which would have presumably killed the participant, had the experiment been real. Additional studies conclude these followers are still around today, and most can be found in tight-knit groups, copying each other without considering how ridiculous they may (or may not) look.

“When you love the other more than yourself, the relationship is doomed. Love yourself first.” – Psychic Charrmayne ext. 5058

5. Imitates Their Heroes

“One can follow one’s own values (these are real leaders), or follow the values of others in life, but not both at the same time,” says Cheatham. “So many men (and women) try to imitate their heroes—but there is only one human who can be the expert at being you.” People who replace their own values with the values of others, are not being honest with themselves, or others. “Know yourself, be yourself; authenticity is attractive.”

6. Has Never Hugged the Porcelain Throne

“Never trust a man who doesn’t drink because he’s probably a self-righteous sort; a man who thinks he knows right from wrong all the time,” writes author James Arthur Crumley. “You can’t trust a man who’s afraid of himself. But sometimes, you can trust a man who occasionally kneels before a toilet—chances are that he is learning something about humility and his natural human foolishness.” I would rather trust an individual who has confronted his demons and found a way to subdue them, then one who has peaked in their direction, only to flee until the next time his or her curiosity gets the best of them.

54 thoughts on “Never Trust Someone Who Does This

  1. martha

    Your last comment….”never trust someone who has not hugged the porcelain throne” is absolute rubbish. Are you you promoting becoming so intoxicated that you need to throw up? This person sounds like a FOLLOWER, not someone you could trust.

    Many people have viewed alcoholism first hand, and want nothing to do with it. I say hurray for them! They are the true free thinkers.

    As a psychologist, I suggest you rethink your post.

    Reply
  2. Glo

    To N, I hear your point. However, like Lisa says, everything in moderation. Many people don’t know their near-end point. Remember this article merely points out that you are not an expert unless you have experienced the situation at hand. Unfortunately, most of us are weak and can’t take the truth. Power will always rule the weak…however wrong this may be. It is up to the Mothers of the planet to teach “Love yourself first…trust in yourself first,” and teach your children to never allow life (and horrible people) to run them over. My Mom never taught me that, unfortunately. I’ve had to endure life’s ups and downs through experiences…one step at a time. Never cheat yourself by skipping steps.

    This is not an issue of God, so don’t go there. It’s about being human and learning to be “good” and rise above the abuse because no one goes unscathed. And trust your karma will heal itself through the centuries.

    Of course, God will always will the guiding light! Namaste.

    Reply
  3. I.S.verma

    Good advice, but alcohilic aspect not.

    It is very difficult to answer the question as to whom one should Trust, still the Golden Rule is ‘Trust Yourself’ only. It will not only make you more confident to sail through the hurdels of the life, but will save you from the shocks of distrust also.

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  4. Lisa

    Well N, you may disagree with this author and I somewhat see youur point, but think you manipulated the point to suit your drunk driving driven rant, that basically throwe you into the catagory of know-it-alls. The article mearly said someone who does not drink at all, and no where mentioned trusting raging alchoholicd. Anything in moderation is ok, anything above that in any area, not just alcohol, can have dire results. Even water

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  5. Tracy

    Where I come from, trust and respect should be earned, not given. It is hard to immediately trust someone, especially if you are just meeting them. I’ve been burned too many times by men and so-called friends, that is why I have my guard up at all times. My motto is don’t trust anyone that way you are never disappointed. When I put my full trust in anyone they always let me down, so why put myself through that. My children and I have suffered because of me putting my trust in certain people. We still feel the pain. I make people earn my trust and respect. If everyone lived by the GOLDEN RULE: “DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU” the world would be a better place.

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  6. ihab

    justed wanted to say something about men who drink or do not drink.
    I married a man who drinks all the time, of coarse he is an alcoholic,
    however, he is not trust worthy to be honest. He is insecure, childish,
    and vindictive. He calls me ugly names and verbally attacks my family.
    he lied about his where abouts and his so called girlfriends or mistresses.
    my soon to be ex-husband thinks he knows more than women. he puts all
    women down. he is a woman hater. he thinks he knows everything!!!!
    he is always correct no matter what. When in fact, he is wrong about 97%
    of the time. he claims he has a high IQ but the college kicked him out of college
    because he was failing his classes and his GPA was a .97.
    I left him, and we are separated because of his rude and crude behavior.
    I have met a man who does not drink and is very nice. he is a gentlemen
    to me. he is also kind and considerate of me and my feelings. He treats me
    with dignity and respect. i am not saying that i know everything because i do not.
    i have lived it and only can say of my experiences and can not speak for others
    experinces.

    Reply
  7. Richard

    humility is a big deal when it comes to trusting someone. ask any shy or inward type person basically anyone for that matter. alot of times confidence doesnt equal trust. alot of drinkers have became acustom basically to feelings of failure. in a sense a person who adheres to failure
    can be a very patient and trustworthy friend

    Reply
  8. N

    Never trust a man who doesn’t drink? Seriously? As a person who has worked with battered women, 99% of whom have had the livin bejeesus beaten out of them time and time again by alcoholic men, gotta say, I think it’s a really poor quote to be putting out there. With the number of alcohol related drunk driving deaths, the incredible problem in this country of teenage drinking, I think this is a really irresponsible euphemism for what the author of this article was trying to say. It’s also an insult to all members of AA, who are in recovery and trying to stay clean and sober. Really disappointed That California Psychics would allow such a lighthearted take on alcohol to be published on their site. Many different ways to get across the concept of never trust a “Holier-than-thou” personality type, with which I agree completely. There are many reasons people choose not to drink, family history, health, religion, just to name a few. Most articles on this blog are classy and true and touching. I do take issue with putting this drinking quote out there in such a flippant, irresponsible way.

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  9. Lonnie

    I can only speak for myself..I was taught to trust everyone until that trust was broken. To beleive what was said until proven a lie. To believe that there is good in everyone. Well all that was taught to me when I was 7-10 yrs old. I never forgot those lessons and brought up my children that way. And then things changed (the world,my state,the neighborhood) I still trust..I stll listen..I still provide..I still feed.. it is what is said in MY bible to help your fellow man…..it is not my place to judge and never have I nor any of my family been put in harms way…all we have been given is love and appreciation in kind…..

    Reply
  10. Deborah M

    Interesting article but you could have used a better example than those who use an urban style of dress as it only dredges up racial images and you know it. Have met up with many people who wear a suit and tie or dress casual who take pride in destroying lives for a living in the financial world. You don’t like the men who wear the sagging pants however the ones doing the damage, the real threat, who willingly destroy the earth, take pride in destroying entire cultures on every continent and feel that it had to be done, who come into the neighborhoods of the men with the sagging pants in the guise of hipsters and then in the name of art, proceed to once again displace entire groups of people from an area because the untrustworthy men in suits and ties made it impossible for the younger White hipsters to afford the White areas. Yet you seem to only look at the poorest, most disadvantaged of the population like they’re the threat when they were minding their own business in their own neighborhood.
    So, among many other groups, our number 4 is to avoid the plague of paleskin men in hipster wear coming to steal anything they see you with, including the very essence of you. How unaware they are that their time of reign is going to come to an end. When you cringe at the thought of no power, We REJOICE.

    Reply
  11. sam jones

    wow i should have gone back to check over what i wrote, without changing bits… my apologies for an extremely messy comment. I do hope the general feeling i was trying to convey got through, though.

    Reply
  12. sam jones

    I disagree with the alcohol point. Just because that is the accepted in society as the elixir of choice (albeit one of the worst ‘poisonous elixirs’). No time to digress but this should be changed to “Someone who isnt afraid to make bad decisions”.

    That was my main grudge with this article, but overall this is obviously an article written by another 1 of the ageing population who are still being tricked into being ageist and narrow minded, but worst of all hypocritical.

    A paragraph about people who wear their pants to low and copying people in their group. (Just because all their pants are a bit low?). Followed shortly by a paragraph about alcohol being a good laugh and kind of ‘limit tester’. Dont get me wrong alcohol is a big laugh but because of the narrow minded view of our elders (i assume by the 2 paragraphs i have mentioned this is an article written by someone over the age of 40) we now have a very confused younger generation and the world is only getting more confusing and unstable.

    Evidence for all of this can be seen by and large in the people growing up. Large drinking problems and more sheeple. Its all in this one article which although proves some unsavoury factors about us all its heart is in the right place and yes more people need to start believing in themselves to break this “what some one else has/does is better than what i have/do and i need that to be happy like it seems they are”.

    Im not a professional writer im not a professional anything really im quite confused and lonely but hey things work out and im understanding a lot so maybe ill be a professional something soon enough, unless being a barman counts… (and being a barman i see all the older generations drinking and talking about everything very often).
    Basically, i didnt review what i wrote more than a few times and ive never been good at communicating what i mean, or i just dont believe in myself enough… but this society has made it VERY hard unless you fit into a box neatly. Ive also never been to good at structuring what i write but im working on it, i guess internet comments that i dont have a lot of time for arent the best places :’) lol

    peace love and light. (hope i dont confuse anyone to much with my ramblings)

    Reply
  13. Barry

    Everyone is evolving, all the time. Non of us are the person we were (pick a date here )….be less judgemental….or i cant trust YOU

    Reply
  14. Mary

    Hi lee,
    you took it a little too literal, meaning “people who think that the world starts and ends with them”. Think about it that is impossible!

    Reply
  15. Melvin Eichhorn

    Never Trust Someone Who Does This : This is so true. I was a Operation manager for over 40 years and saw this type of person in every position . Better know as K.A.s who think they are smarter than anybody else even their bosses ,but are really very insecure people.

    Reply
  16. Charlotte

    I have often found excellent advice in this forum even though it’s populated with people claiming to have that mystical ability of being a psychic. So much on here is truly common sense – but I find it enlightening just the same and often have those “ah ha” moments when I read these columns.
    My 2nd comment is directed toward Michelle’s comment about the use of peaked and peeked. You are correct – peeked should have been used since it means looking stealthily in someone’s direction whereas “peaked” means you’ve reached the pinnacle of your actions; abilities; talents, etc.

    Reply
  17. Gary

    Found out at great cost the truth of loving someone else more than myself. The end result was the one in question turned out to be on hard drugs and covered it so intelligently that it was impossible to detect…until the money started to pile up on the credit cards, checks missing and cashed from the check book. And this person was one of the brightest I have ever met.

    Reply
  18. Mary

    To the good men and women out there I have one rule to see if he or she is a good person. Or are they just looking to take advantage of a situation.

    On the first date I have them do something that is not very exciting to see how they react, I usually take them to a nursing home, hospital, food pantry or soup kitchen to wash dishes and see if they are serviceable to others because that’s how they are going to be with you. If they refuse or make excuses then be glad they refused before you got involved or get to love them. This is a person that is looking for a fair weather relationship.

    Reply
  19. aimee garza

    I think everyone should just be a little more cautious before giving ALL of your trust to just anyone. But MANY PEOPLE need to learn how to trust themselves more! Because deep inside of ourselves we know what’s best for us & what we need
    so really listening to our inner voice before listening to another could have big benefits!

    Reply
  20. Aggie

    Constantly hangs with a group of people cdalling them friends. They are likely to all or some be Bullys to any one out of their circle.
    A rude person who will cut into a private conversation just to disagree with the people in the conversation in order to get atention.
    A person who has not shampod their hair in a long time and wears clothing that has not been cleaned–they are beggers who want to tap you for money. If they aproach you just walk away without speaking to them.
    PLEASE remember that Bullys come in all sizes and ages–Bullying is not over just because you are no longer in school.
    REMEMBER–MOST BULLYS ARE JEALOUS AND THEREFORE NEED TO PUT OTHERS DOWN BUY PROVING THEY CAN OUTDO THEM IN SOME WAY–THE ESSENCE OF BULLYING

    THANKS YOU!!

    Reply
  21. Karen

    Trust ones self is the most important thing and this can only be achieved I feel over time I am a mature aged woman and I have been through the mill of the trust silo and it was huge, now at my age I have learnt to trust my own instincts and accept that people are moving through this life as in their own journey to pick all the little pieces of life that attune to them. Being a good listener is a great way to trust and can be the best judge of what is right for you, you can take the information on board and process it take out the pieces that can benefit yourselves, disregard the rest, for your own growth.

    And in regards to Lees comment on the undies thing and being spiritual we are after all only human. Lighten up and see more of the funny side of life. I do.

    Love and Light
    Kaz

    Reply
  22. Dianne

    This article was an eye opener. There are a few key points missing!

    Never trust a person also, if your gut instincts or sixths sense say so. Listen to it!

    Never trust a person if one single subject has many different stories over time. The stories to the subject, should remain consistant if they are telling the truth.

    Never trust a person addicted to you. They will say everything and anything in their power to cloud your judgement and make you believe what they are saying.

    Reply
  23. Maria

    I just understand that we are all humans and we all make mistakes, so don’t trust anybody, love, give, but never spect that the others will do the same for you!!

    Reply
  24. 'what you takin bout Willis# 2'

    never trust anyone who saids, “my mother and my father never cheated on each other so what’s your promblem? ‘Maybe that personnever remembers the meaning of quality-time should exceed the humdrum street star statist that he or she craves so morbidly and could have achieved in the walls or their rocky one on one, here and now, and please don’t preach to your counterpart about what you would have done if only that person was more like yourself; then you should marry only you and have a blast looking at yourself everyday and feel the not even the slightest remorse when you find out they were the only one who put up with being put-off indefnitely. cheers Mr. Charlie

    Reply
  25. yaminah

    It’s this man name wally I love him and care evertime I’m around him things go wrong for me he is a nice guy but I don’t no what is gonna on in his life should I wait for him or move on

    Reply
  26. shanu

    this article threw a light on my thinking. we should be like a rational buyer, always beware of the things and people that came across our life..instead of believing others blindly we should rationally think and take a decision.

    Reply
  27. Dave C

    Trust your gut, easier said than done when you are looking into a pair of innocent LOOKING beautiful female eyes. How they may practice to deceive.

    Reply
  28. jackie clark

    it is hard 4 me 2 trust. kathy brindley is the only 1 i trust fully, followed by kitty thomas. i am not putting down the rest of my friends at all. i’m closer 2 kathy than any1 and she has good advice. i hope she feels the same about me . i got a flag where i had said this b4. i havent. must have been some1 else.

    Reply
  29. jackie clark

    it is hard 4 me 2 trust. kathy brindley is the only 1 i trust fully, followed by kitty thomas. i am not putting down the rest of my friends at all. i’m closer 2 kathy than any1 and she has good advice. i hope she feels the same about me.

    Reply
  30. Irene

    You can always trust a person who doesn’t drink. All the members of AA will tell you they are no longer part of the problem. As for the others they are probably shy and mis-understood

    Reply
  31. elean J

    There are always two ways to a coing. These characters mentioned here makes a person’s personality. The last point is blank wrong..(wrongest!) so the fact that one does not drink is a reason to be wary of them? I wish this were in yahoo!

    Reply
  32. michelle

    Thank you. These are most excellent tips – but, re: #6 – I believe “peaked” should be “peeked”.
    A bit confusing, unless a different meaning than the one I understood was intended.
    If so, please excuse me.

    Reply
  33. rebecca

    i love the comment about people who replace their own values with others…i find it unfortunate that people tend to follow to become popular or fit in…hopefully they will realise they will be much happier being who they are….they make much more interesting people to be around and in the end contribute alot more to our society…and changing it and others around them.
    i think alot of people dont know what they want so they want what others have instead.

    Reply

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