Advice for Those Who’ve Never Been in a Romantic Relationship

Don’t Give Up on Having a Romantic Relationship!

Whether they’re in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s or older, some people have never been in a romantic relationship. And if you’re one of them, chances are you feel like the older your get, the harder it’s going to be to find and keep love. If you’re single and feeling lonely and would like to have someone special in your life, then you need to figure out what’s been holding you back from finding lasting love. It’s time to do things a little differently.

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This may seem simple, but in order to find a romantic relationship, you can’t give up on love. Rather, you have to be actively looking for it. tells us that women tend to put more effort into buying a new pair of shoes than they put into finding a romantic relationship. It’s shocking to think, but it actually makes sense and it’s probably why you’re still single. Your first step in finding a romantic relationship is to commit to finding love.

Bringing the Inside Out

Maybe you’ve never been in a relationship because you don’t feel like you have much to offer. That’s not true. Each of us is special in our own unique way and if you show the world who you are on the inside, you will eventually meet someone who thinks you’re pretty special.

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If you’re shy, it isn’t easy for you to strike up conversations with strangers. Shyness is actually endearing. But you do know how to smile, don’t you? If you see someone you’re attracted to, try smiling at them. Maybe they will engage you in conversation. If you’re feeling bold, you could smile and say, “hello.”


We all have qualities that we feel self-conscious about. But we also have qualities that make us feel confident. Maybe you’re well-read or athletic. Maybe you’re really funny when you’re comfortable around people. When you’re feeling confident about yourself, other people notice. Confidence is attractive to a potential mate, so strut your stuff and know that you have a lot to offer.

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Flirting is fun and there are a ton of ways to do it. It can be bold, but it’s just as effective when it’s subtle. You’re just being friendly, and if someone is receptive, you may just get a date out of it. But, if they’re not being friendly in return, walk away. You don’t need an unfriendly person in your life.

Your Love Life is a Project

I know it doesn’t sound romantic, but if you want to finally have a romantic relationship, you need to treat it like a project. It takes time and effort, and you need to be willing to put everything you’ve got into it to make the outcome successful—including putting in some overtime. So don’t sit around feeling sorry for yourself, and don’t sit around waiting for Prince Charming to come knocking on your door. Not only does it take effort to find love, it takes even more effort to keep it. So if you’re not willing to put any energy into finding a romantic relationship, what chance do you have of keeping one?

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Someone Who Likes What You Like

Don’t waste your time pretending to like sports or classical music just to impress someone. You need to be true to yourself. So if you like boats, take a sailing class and if you like to eat, take a cooking class. If you do, you will meet people who like the same activities, and now you have something in common with someone else and shared interest are something to build a relationship on.

Just Make a New Friend

Put aside the pressure of finding love for now and just go out with the intention of making a new friend. A lot of strong romantic relationships start out as friendships and some of the best romantic relationships start out as a slow-burning flame.

It doesn’t matter how old you are, if you’ve never been in a romantic relationship, it’s never too late to find love.

8 thoughts on “Advice for Those Who’ve Never Been in a Romantic Relationship

  1. LJ

    Carlotta: You can love your friend and still live your life. You’re not honoring her by not living your life. She wouldn’t want that for you and you shouldn’t either. Be in the moment – this moment where you’re a vibrant beating heart, a willing soul and when you obviously have so much love inside to share. You’re a precious being – honor that and live your best life possible. That’s the reason we’re here.

  2. LJ

    Denise: When you’re “in love” you’ll know it. Maybe you’ve been infatuated with a lot of guys or in lust – maybe you have been in love, who knows? When you say “lots of guys” it makes me think that you haven’t experienced deep, heart pounding, thought consuming love yet – and when you do, you’ll know it. Be patient with yourself and just love yourself and the Universe will take care of the rest.
    Best of luck in love

  3. jula

    my feeling is that going to visit the grave of a close friend is a form of closure and when you
    close one door, you open another to new friends and possibilities. Hanging on to past loves
    is hanging on to the past and one must let go of the past to enjoy living in the present and
    the here and now. it sounds like depression, and blocked grieving when you can’t let go. I
    have lost a best friend too and was depressed for years, unable to give up any of his stuff,
    but now I am fed up with being depressed and alone and am getting out of my comfort zone
    in an attempt to meet new friends. Best wishes and blessings from God to all who are out
    there feeling alone in the world. You’re not really alone unless you ‘choose’ to be. Life is
    about taking risks and not holing yourself up in the house being depressed and gloomy.

  4. Sophia F

    Thank you so much for this. My life story. I was a virgin until I was a week from turning 34. So I’ll take your advice and not give up on love. I’m working hard on it like you said.

  5. Dorothy Hogan

    Since I have been married and divorced four times, I do not seem to have trouble finding relationships – keeping them is another story obviouslly.

  6. carlotta smith

    hi I am still not over the death of my best friend anna Danielle mithell and I did not know that she had passaway everytime I think I’m ready to go to the grave I change my mind everytime I look at something on tv I think about her and I miss my friend so much she died in 2008 in janurary 26thand next year will be 7 years what do yu think I should do because if I go to the grave I might just passout or have a brak down


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