I Want it My Way!

“But I would have returned the call right away and he or she waited four hours before they called back!” or “I care about him/her, so I e-mailed back immediately. If he/she cared about me they would not have waited to e-mail me back!” “But if I’ve started dating someone I like, I want to be with them 5 nights a week. He/she doesn’t, so he/she doesn’t love me!”

These sentences illustrate one of the most challenging life lessons for us to learn when our emotions are involved. We do tend to forget how wonderfully, intricate individual people are and become disappointed when they do not react, return communications, or otherwise behave exactly as we would. Individual reactions and/or behaviors are not always reliable indicators of the level of affection another person has for us. When our emotions are involved, we tend to forget to “celebrate the differences” in our partner or potential partner. Those differences can be gently discovered as we get to know someone, appreciated and celebrated as part of the unique make-up of our partner and used, along with our own unique differences, to strengthen our relationships.

When we expect someone to act just exactly as we do, often we are reacting from fear and insecurity rather than from a place of confidence in our own worth. Unfortunately, too often someone will decide to end a burgeoning relationship prematurely because the other person does not do “what I would have done”. At that point, it’s important to examine ourselves closely to see if, subconsciously, we may be using other’s failures to do what we would have done or react as we would have to actually distance ourselves from the possibility of getting close to anyone.

19 thoughts on “I Want it My Way!

  1. Pingback: DreamCast: A Family Tree Comes to Life | California Psychics Blog

  2. Psychic Maryanne Ext. 9146

    Abigail,
    Thanks for your comments and my apologies for the late response. You are so right-sometimes if we had gotten what we thought we wanted when we wanted it-it may have been a very bad move. Hopefully, we then meet someone or some situation that makes us glad we had space in our life for them.
    Sincerely,
    Maryanne
    Ext. 9146

    Reply
  3. Psychic Maryanne Ext. 9146

    Miss Krystal,
    Sorry for the late reply and thanks for clarifying this article. I do agree that in a relationship that has matured, any change in behavior that disrespects us does need to be addressed through communication. Hopefully, at that point (relationship matured) we’ve come to appreciate and love the differences in our partner, but changes that disrespect us are a different story.
    Maryanne
    Ext. 9146

    Reply
  4. mom1204

    I would have to agree with you miss Krystal since when reading this article I was thinking “ok, I get it but still, sometimes not responding is not ok and is just inconsiderate and there may be something else going on that should be addressed. Anyway, I guess it all depends on the situation…

    Reply
  5. Abigail Ext 9570

    Good Morning Maryanne,
    Great article! You brought a smile to my face as I literally wanted to say “hehehhehe wawawaw I want it my way” then I remembered life is not that way LOL how we grow & learn that it’s not always about us. We share this world with many. It’s all about a balance, sharing, loving and just being honest. And later on we may realize had we got what we wanted when we wanted it well it could have been a bad move so sometimes its just those wonderful angels of protection keeping us safe. You put this together beautifully!
    Many Blessings
    ~Abigail~

    Reply
  6. Fran

    Dear Maryanne,
    I’m back!
    Thanks for such a great article. It was very insightful, especially for those of us who are “waiting.” You have helped me so many times now to realize that if that e-mail or phone call doesn’t arrive when I expect it to, that doesn’t mean that it won’t arrive at all. The key component here is faith. Being away for a few days has helped me to focus more on what’s IN my heart rather than what my heart WANTS. I know in my gut that this is all going to work out because all the roadsigns (more like billboards, really) I’ve gotten have lead me down this road, and everything I’ve lived through in my life has brought me to this point for this reason. So if that means waiting a few days for a response to my call or email, that’s okay…the world isn’t coming to an end.
    BUT…can’t wait to talk to you again!!! It’s always a pleasure…
    BIG HUGS TO YOU,
    Fran

    Reply
  7. Gina Rose ext.9500

    Hi NYHolly,
    I posted back to you in that section earlier today…..thank you…I did enjoy reading that…..you really do “get it “…..and I’m happy to have payed a small part in that learning process.
    Thank You for the acknowledgement.
    Blessed Be )O(…Gina Rose ext.9500

    Reply
  8. NYHolly

    Hey Gina Rose! I posted in “release your soulmate” section today that especially pertained to you and your definition of the karmic tie! Had a wonderful experience and really wanted to share it with all – thought you would really enjoy reading it – just didn’t know if you went to that post, so wanted to steer you in the right direction! Least I can do, as you have so steered me in the right direction before! 🙂 Thanks and blessings – Holly

    Reply
  9. josepha

    Dear Maryanne,
    Very important article. I would like to bring another way of looking at this, to the table. Everyone in our life is a mirror to us to look at ourselves. Keep that in mind. If someone is not acting the way you do, lok at what you believe to be true about yourself, in connection with that. Is it maybe that you are looking for outside affiramtion of how loved you are, instead of being full of your love to yourself? or is it security from the other person, because you are not feeling secure on your own?
    Just another perspecive.
    Blessings, Josepha

    Reply
  10. seha

    Dear Lovely Duckling,
    Difficult experiances can be blessings.
    Challanges, difficulties etc. are angels in their own way when they allow us to take the opportunity to grow and become spirtually closer to the Essence of our life journey.
    Best of wishes on your unique and wonderful journey.
    Seha 9668

    Reply
  11. The Lovely Duckling

    Thanks, Gina Rose!
    My therapist does…we are both surprised that I am as sane as I am. LOL!
    There are definitely differences between men and women, but the more pronounced differences I have seen are between people who have self-esteem and those who don’t. Those who can’t seem to find the love and value in themselves can’t recognize it in others.
    We really have no choice but to be individuals…we come that way and leave that way. It’s how we cross paths with others and choose to connect with them that keeps us from being alone. Only those who are comfortable with themselves can allow others to remain individuals and still have a relationship.
    I’ve learned this from the relationships I’ve had with two people in my life…my mother and my husband. Freud would be confused because somehow I married my mother (although I was way too young at the time to know it)!
    I am embracing the karmic path I am on. I have already learned so much.

    Reply
  12. The Lovely Duckling

    Thank you, Seha!
    It took a lot of difficult experiences to get them but I see it as a blessing to have learned so much. Although I wouldn’t want to experience any of it again, I wouldn’t change a thing either.
    Cheers,
    Lise 🙂

    Reply
  13. Gina Rose ext.9500

    Hi Lovely Duckling,
    Very well put !!!!!
    ….the Psychiatrists and Therapists I read for seem to say the same thing too.
    And I can tell you, having been
    a ” pro psychic ” for 43 years…men generally do not process info the same way women do…..neither do they act as fast on , or express,their emotions in the same way women do.
    We are all on an ‘individual’ Karmic path.
    Blesesd Be )O(…Gina Rose ext.9500

    Reply
  14. seha

    Dear Lovely Duckling,
    You have great insight, self awareness and wisdom. Enjoyed reading your response.
    You are right, this was a well written article.
    Blessings,
    Seha

    Reply
  15. Psychic Jacqueline x9472

    Jacqueline x9472 said in reply to Maryanne….
    Great words of wisdom, so many times we forget to “celebrate the differences” love it, remember the more we have gratitude for the relationships that have passed….(Yeah! so grateful I have learned the lesson and now have this great wonderful, loving healthy relationship, Thank You!).
    Remember too, when we grow and change our energy shifts, those who we have and or are in a relationship either need to shift to match ours or it may be a time to reconsider those relationships….
    Blessings,
    Jacqueline x9472

    Reply
  16. The Lovely Duckling

    Thanks for the article, Maryanne! It is as truthful as it is well-written.
    It is amazing how fear and insecurity can drive a normally rational person to do things that are completely senseless (and it’s even worse when the person isn’t reasonable to begin with). More often than not, reacting out of fear and insecurity does more to sabotage the situation and damage the relationship.
    If someone is looking for someone who thinks exactly like they do, they are really looking for an extension of him/herself to validate their own self-worth. Trying to be an individual ends up having consequences and the relationship becomes unhealthy for everyone.
    There isn’t enough room for two people in a relationship like that. I know this from experience.

    Reply
  17. Miss Krystal ext. 9192

    Hi Maryanne, very nice article.
    I think in the start, yes, we have to be patient and let things have time to give etc.
    But there is a time, later, when some of us will have to make sure that we are being treated with respect. Growth is so important. We do this in the very start in hopes that things will come together. But later on, there could be a time when we do need more. But there is a time to address that, and it is way later….
    Things will have to evolve…We can’t get anything all of the time our way, but some of our important needs, later, as the relationship grows, must be considered.
    I think this is good for taking first steps in new relationships….But as the love matures, we do need to find reasonable ways to get our most important needs met, and that would be through our communication skills. Otherwise, we could get treated like a floor mat…
    Thanks,
    Miss Krystal

    Reply

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