How to Get Over The One Who Got Away

Are you obsessed with “the one who got away”? It seems all men have loved and lost “the one,” and if they date again, they compare every new girl to her. If they just can’t bring themselves to meet someone new, it’s because they can’t get over “the one.” So why not move on, and if you just can’t move on right now, at least get closure. Get personalized advice on your relationship and contact a psychic today!

Women differ from men when it comes to “the one.” Women fall hard and deep and take chances on new things… not all the time, not every woman, but overall, women also have “the one who got away,” and they usually refer to him as “the one who got away (thank goodness).” Like men, many women will romanticize “the one,”  and even fantasize about him. But instead of wanting him back, we often tend to look for his best qualities in future loves.

So what was so special about her? Was she a soulmate? Was there just something there, like magic, when you first laid eyes on her? And when you were with her, did she make you feel like you’d found home? But now she’s gone, and maybe years have passed since you’ve last seen her or spoken to her. Have you dated other women since then? You may have even loved them but not in the same, intense, passionate way you loved “the one.” You long for her.

Yes, she was certainly special. She taught you to love unconditionally. But something went wrong. Let me repeat that. Something went wrong. That’s why you are no longer together. But you seem to have forgotten what went wrong. You choose to remember only the good times and not the bad. So, you are romanticizing her. She has become epic. What you remember her being like is not who she really was.

I want to encourage you to move past it. Why? Because thinking about her, or  the perfect version of her and not having her is making you miserable. You want that love bond? Find it with someone else. “The one” may have caught your heart for the first time, but there is another woman out there who can love you.

Well, I’ll tell you. I had “the one.” I still think about him, dream about him and wonder if he’s happy. But I know him, just like you know her. We’d never fit. So, I accept that we are no longer together. And I want to encourage you men to do the same.

I’m going to repeat it a third time. There was a reason it didn’t work out. You can remember the love you experienced—don’t ever let that go. You can remember that and still let better love come to you. Yes, I said, better. It can be more enticing, more exciting, more… everything! It can be yours if you just let yourself love again.


18 thoughts on “How to Get Over The One Who Got Away

  1. ethan

    I know i’m only 19 and i’m very young but why do i still feel like my only future was with her? Every relationship after never measured up and every time i found myself going back to her. And after a week, a week being the average, i found her telling me she can’t have a relationship right now. But i always found her going back to another guy, and then me for a week, and him for a year. And after all of this i still love her, and worry about her, and just get disgusted at the thought of her with another guy. What makes me the saddest of all is that i feel so passionate for her and i know that she has no feelings for me at all anymore. What we had was amazing and i never thought i even deserved a love like that. EVER. I left all my capacity for passion with her, no one after has gotten it from me and that makes me hate myself. I guess maybe it’s amplified because i left a worldwide tour group for her and got only heartache in return. Am i wrong to feel this way? Am i sadly just codependent? I don’t know. What is my problem and what is my solution?

    Thank you very much

  2. Todd

    I had a very long, strange relatioship with a girl I worked with. We tried to sleep together twice, but it never really took. I broke her heart, she broke mine, then I broke hers again, then she broke mine again. Totally madding. All and all about a 5 year cycle.

    I quit the comapany to get away from her, I loved her uncondictionally. Though she has many probelms.

    After I left, I set out to determine why I could not let her go. I remebered everytime we had met back to 1976, when our parents met. I had been seeing HER my entire life. It has been two years since I left the company. Now, knowing these things I finally remeber, I am more in love with her than I ever was, and she is gone. I know I have to let her go. She is the most beautiful women I ever saw in my life; and I feel like I lost the one I had been seeing all of my life.

    I have good days and bad days. I dont know what to do, or how to find happiness without her voice, and her love. These feelings are screwing up my life.

    I feel broken inside, all of the time. And I miss her more than I have words.

  3. Ophelia EXT 5078

    Hi Virgo,

    Who knows what can happen in the future? We (here) see how things will be based on now, but now changes to then, and then, things change to after that. 😉

    I would suggest it’s great you found someone in the whole world you can share so much with and feel so good about knowing. Keep her persona in mind, but it’s okay if you look for that feeling in others. And you may find someone more suited, even.

  4. Ophelia EXT 5078

    Hi Storm/Anne,

    Infatuation. Sounds like it. Infatuation can be more powerful that hatred. It’s obsessive and makes people feel weak without the other around, and overly empowered when that one is around.

  5. virgo361

    What if you were acquaintances at work with complete chemistry and it never culminated? I fell in love with a woman at work and we had a great time flirting with each other and picking on each other, but we never had the relationship come to pass. Now she’s been gone since early this year, but I can’t shop thinking of her. I keep thinking “what could of been”. I hate to think I’m going to live the rest of my life that way. I felt we truly complemented each other perfectly. Not that we’re perfect, but perfect for each other. Our lifestyles, background and where we are in our own lives would of made a great match. Just can’t figure it out.

  6. Storm

    This article was very helpful me even though I’m a scorned woman. December will make it 4 years that me and ex (also the father of my two daughters) split up due to secrets he kept hiding like Robin’s husband. He waiting until we had kids to start cheating. My gut told me to run also. I was so blinded by what I thought was love. I think we were obsessed with each other. We had started off like any other couple but the red flags were there all along. We were engaged also. That was a joke and a way for him to feel as if I was going to leave him. Our relationship was very unhealthy, untreatable Anne

  7. Ophelia EXT 5078

    Hi Iris,

    I’m married to a man I dated and broke up with 14 years ago. We got back together 3 years past. My heart is quite fond! 🙂

  8. Ophelia EXT 5078

    Hi Marc,

    As always, I love your input on articles I write. I’m glad you found this one helpful. Your attitude will make you rich in heart.

  9. Ophelia EXT 5078

    Hi Chrissi,

    A painful story, thanks for sharing it. You can still have a happy life. I wonder what will happen when I run into old loves in the afterlife. What if the one I adore dies young and I live another 50 years? I know I’ll love again, but who will be waiting for me? Or is love different “over there?” I suspect it is in some ways, and even more intense in other ways.

  10. Ophelia EXT 5078

    Hi Robin,

    Sounds like you’re in a lot of pain. My belief is we have lots of soulmates, but I’m guessing you’re referring to the love sort. I also feel there are plenty of those out there. When I read your post, I thought to myself, that woman is tough! She’s going to be just fine. You’re feisty and have a fun way about you, even though you were upset when writing. You have great spirit.

  11. Robin Bednarczyk

    I KNOW I let my “soulmate” get away. There’s a possibility of TWO though. AND NOW I’m stuck with a Scorpio, who the sex is good with, but thats about all. He keeps secrets from me, he hides stuff, then lies about it, and believe me, Scorpios will go to their grave with their secrets AND LIES, but if its not their secret, THEY TELL EVERYONE! And I STILL talk to BOTH of the men who I think ONE OF THEM IS my soulmate, but I’m married to a “bad boy”! LADIES out there, DO NOT GO WITH THE BAD BOY images – they are BAD NEWS, they will hurt you emotionally, and sometimes physically, they will lie to you, they will do whatever they damn well please, then when they get caught – THEY LIE! STAY AWAY FROM THE ONES WITH THE “BADBOY” IMAGES! Unless you want to be stuck in an unending rut of lies for the rest of your life, wondering “what would have been”. All I know is MY SOULMATE would not treat me like a piece of crap ALL THE TIME! So I don’t feel as though I’m with him right now. My husband even lets SOMEBODY come in my house and leave him little messages THAT EVERYBODY can see, yet when I see it, he says I’m crazy and imagining things! I guess everybody else who sees the same thing I do, is imagining it as well, right? I COULD KICK MYSELF IN MY DUMBBUTT for even believing him when my first gut instinct told me to RUN!

  12. Chrissi

    well mine did fit- but his family married another girl to him by proxy and brought her to England, and at the time that was allowed- and I messed up loads of relationships wanting guys to be him- thought I’d found a reasonable substitute too and married him- but the day I learned he’d died was the worst day of my life- especially as I’d learned he never stopped loving me, as I hadn’t him- I just hope one day somewhere we will be together again soon

  13. Marc from the UK

    Nice article, yes I have been there, they say it takes two years to get over someone fully, I am doing this and dealing with other things by being honest with myself, and allowing other people to be human, yes I mean human, for we all have faults, I have thanked the universe for the positives people have brought to my life and the great times as well. that alone is very healing, try it, thank the universe for the positives and happiness, it really does free you up!

    Great article and encouraging!

  14. iris1

    Insightful, and the romantic in me loves those couples that get back together many decades later. Seems sometimes absence does make the heart grow fonder.


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