Get Clarity After a Breakup

Your Breakup Has a Purpose

As a psychic, it can be challenging to comfort someone who is struggling in a relationship that isn’t working, is dying or is on hold. And it’s especially challenging if a caller has already gone through clusters of these types of relationships—all ending in a breakup. I wish I could say, “Yes, they’ll come back to you. They’re not cheating on you. They’re not moving on with their life.” But the truth is that my callers aren’t always going to get the happy ending they’ve hoped for.

I’ve had my share of relationship struggles. I’ve been in relationship hell, which can replicate endlessly from partner to partner. And I have come to terms with the fact that ultimately I was the one at the helm of my shipwrecks. I needed to know the pattern I was unwittingly recreating. I did my own work to find out the source of my dysfunction and acquired the insight and the tools to challenge how I sabotage healthy relationships and choose ones that are doomed from the start. But still, those relationships came… and went. I began to look at the bigger picture to find the answers to why so many good people fail to find a good relationship.

I can help you get over the pain of a breakup! Call me and let’s get through it together. 

Unconditional Love

In my meditations and study of spiritual paths I found one theme central to all religions and spiritual systems—love. Not love as we think of it—the romantic kind in a committed or not-so-committed relationship—but unconditional love, where one really comprehends the feelings and soul of another and accepts them for who they are. In many relationship, partners go back and forth between selfless love and dismissing the other person if they don’t meet their needs in the relationship. And sometimes, a partner so self-abnegates they become a ghost, as the other person takes their vitality and becomes a selfish and egocentric monster. Another word for this is enabling. Obviously, neither extreme is healthy and a breakup may occur.

Past Lives

I also believe that in past lives we have created unfinished business with people and it comes around again for another shot at redemption, if only we can do it this time around. Since love is the main reason we are here, these relationships are actually a very important part of our life path, and should not be viewed as failures and bad situations. Rather, they are huge opportunities to become more loving, whether they end in a breakup or not.

Check Your Charts

The astrology aspects to look for in charts where relationship difficulties seem chronic and multiple would be planets in the fifth and seventh houses that are in bad aspect, especially involving Venus and Mars, Pluto and the Moon. If the Sun is square or opposite the Moon there would be some disharmony in the self that would be projected into the world attracting disharmonious partners. Saturn square Venus would bring inhibition and inability to love. Often someone who has trouble believing that they can attract loving partnerships will attract someone who has Saturn square Venus, showing how we attract what we project. Pluto aspects show how we can end up in power struggles with others and how effective we are at sharing power with a partner. It also indicates if we choose partners who have the need to control us, often ending in an explosive rebellion by the one being controlled. Uranus aspects denote the need for independence which can eclipse normal needs for commitment and closeness to another. Sometimes progressed planets will show relationship troubles, especially those involving progressed Mars square or opposite the natal Sun or Moon. This doesn’t mean your relationships will end in a breakup, but your charts will definitely tell you about the potential challenges you’ll face as a couple.

So, for those healing from hurtful relationships, take heart in knowing that your experience has not been without purpose, for in the pain of trying to understand another, and looking at how we love and accept love, and yes, lose love, we get just a little further on the path home. Bless the person you may have lost and bless yourself for making the effort to love another. Time will heal the hurt that comes with a breakup and the next relationship will be an opportunity to advance further on the path of loving.

24 thoughts on “Get Clarity After a Breakup

  1. Charlie

    What’s the point of being at the helm if you keep ignoring the light house and keep running your ship into the rocks, some people who come into your life are the light house they may not be perfect, have their own baggage but once you get past that they have a lot to offer and may be able to help you from running aground, stop looking for that perfect person and find good in the people that are not perfect negatives are easy to find but that helps know no one.

    Reply
  2. diane

    My “friend” of 4 yrs who I loved with all my being decided to end it yesterday. I am stunned and so very sad. My horoscope has been suggesting “change” coming w/relationships. I actually hoped that the change might be a long hoped for commitment…I thought he and I were in such synch. Imagine my shock today. And I am beside myself with grief that I didn’t see coming…

    Reply
  3. Jeanmichelle

    I have had a world full of heart ache thus far. To say I have invested and put my all into them is an understatement. Now I am 48 … E Recently divorced I’ve lost my favorite dog, my home, my Mother my marriage, my oldest daughter …. I am trying my best to put my best foot forward and not allow myself to feel sorry for myself. I am trying to embrace each moment and send love in light of the circumstances.

    Reply
  4. jula

    you can drive yourself crazy with thinking about past life regression and paying for family
    ‘curses’. take care of yourself better and be kind to others in this life and you will slowly
    see an improvement in your life and how you relate to others. If you have been programmed
    by a dysfunctional family to feel that you are unworthy of good things and don’t deserve to
    be happy, then you will likely continue in that negative pattern of stinking thinking. Change
    your thinking, change your life. Best wishes to all those who are suffering. I pray for the
    release of your suffering and hope the future is better and brighter for all. God bless you.

    Reply
  5. Elvis

    I can relate to this. Wish’ I could afford to talk to you. I am unhappily married to a disabled man. Can’t leave him right now . I was seeing a man for 15 years and thought we were sole mates. God I loved him and thought he loved me. His x became very needy and he dumped me to go back to her and said very hurtful things to me. I cried every night. Then my cousin introduced me to a co-worker who swept me off my feet. He told me he loved me, he made me laugh, people were saying they never saw me so happy. Then his x started calling him and he stopping making plans with me. After dating him for three months he dumped me and married her. Two months after his marriage he is calling me saying he made a mistake. I am SO discouraged with love.

    Reply
  6. MADI

    Mercedes this is very upsetting news. I can’t understand why setting mousetraps baited with mail linked to a blog post could elevate hurting his ex wife opposed to going to his wife like a human being but then again some people aren’t sensitive.

    OyVehAllah…Mercedes non merci naconne.

    Reply
  7. Priscilla Wilson

    I’m having problems rite this moment,n my partner is
    always finding fault with me….Like I talk 2 much,my shoulders look like a guys,I help my kids out 2 much,no money wise but just do things 2 help..I sleep 2 much,n he knows I have sleep apnea…I just don’t feel good enough
    what am I suppose 2 do? it hurts real bad..HELP ME
    I’M at the end of my rope with him n ideally do love him
    don’t know why anymore…I hurt real bad n don’t know what 2 do….Priscilla TY

    Reply
  8. GEMINI

    Hi! Tessa, enjoyed your article. And yes, it is fustrating not finding that life partner. I have
    been struggling with men who are not established, want you for a meal ticket, or who
    are trying to better themselves which is not a bad thing but, time is passing and it is
    taking to long. I want to enjoy life with that special person now not when I am 90. I just
    might call you and see if you can help me.

    Reply
  9. kadine

    I just found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me I really don’t know what to do cause the fact is that I really do love him

    Reply
  10. Cher

    I met a nice man online, I thought last october. We dated 4 a few months. He kept talking about his ex, I told him to go back to her. Then all a sudden he stopped calling. I moved on. Then recently he started calling again, 4 months later. We went out a few times again. Same M.O. as before. I blocked his phone number and his ex’s. Don’t need there Drama.
    Not such a nice guy after all. I met a someone else that treats me the way I should be…..

    Reply
  11. sandy

    Thanks for a great perspective and nicely written article. I just broke off a relationship I felt taht my needs were not being met and I did just that blessed the person thanked them for the memories and moved on with the realization that staying in a relationship were my needs are not being met is worse then being alone.

    Reply
  12. Mercedes

    Was in a relationship in which he professed his love for me, wanted me to move in with him to his state, paid for my 5 days vacation to visit him in SanAntonio and all of a sudden stop taking to me and then, I found out he had
    gotten married on 1-30-2013. We
    started talking on 7-20-2013 and it was
    over on 11-24-2013. Less than 6 month
    married and he was already cheating on
    his wife. Is this sad or what? Wish you could coment on this. UNREAL!!!!

    Reply
  13. vivienne

    I do believe we are needed some where on Earth. After my D of 28 yrs, I met this wonderful man, thought it would be for life, I was wrong. At the time he was in the stage of depression from his past relationship, unemployed for 3 yrs. We met online 3 mths before I came to see him. During that time talking with him, I felt that I met him from the past, we are so connected in many ways, I finished his sentence he finished mine. I thought I have found my true love and soul-mate. After moved in, 3 yrs was so happy, we planned future together, getting a store so he can get on with his retirement, and I don’t have to work for other people. Things got bad when I got promoted at work, meetings, different hour of lunches, and seminar at different locations. He got in jealous rage, accused me of cheating on him with my ops manager. I pleated with him, I explained to him, I even swear to him that I did no such things, he would not believe me in anyway. He call me names that my parent would never call me, he say things that I would never thought of came from him, I was so hurt and felt like a piece of trash of all the names he called me. I left him, go home, and now he accused me of having sex with the “homeless, my ex-coworker, my next door neighbor(67 yrs old), and the fisherman. He disrespected my parent, he doesn’t believed me that my dad was terminal ill and require my care. I felt so cheated, betrayed, and hurt by all this accusations from the man I call love. Two months later my dad passed away. My dad say ” he is not worthy for your heart and love, all he give you is pain, I saw you cry every night, why don’t you stay here and be with your mother when I am gone” that was the last words he say to me. After he heard that my dad had passed, he call to apologized and never doubt me again and the 2nd sentence he say if I apologize my fault(cheating on him) he will forgive me and we will makeup our life again. My body start to boil and we fight again, I say” I rather loose you then apologize to the things I never do” so I left him. The year 2013, I had lost my love, my life, and my dad, and my cousin. I felt so hurt now that I don’t know if I can go on, I can’t look at another man out there because in my heart I still love him. I know time will heal all wound, I am working so hard to forget and try to move on to start my new life. From time to time, I still cry to myself, anytime of the day.

    Reply
  14. Milan

    If you have a family curse or aby other kind of it it would be visible from your natal chart.
    No one in this world could help you until you pay for your or mistakes of your ancestoryes.
    You wil just spin in circles with your partners.
    You can see with regresive methods your past lives and where you messes up and what you pay for.

    Reply
  15. Blackie

    I get into relationships that seem to control me and I’m a Sag. but also 56 and I feal I have been brave long enough, I never would have believed my marriage was going to end the way it did and I was a victim here and now sound like a monster, I gave every thing, At church I’ve been accused of being a liar and this couldn’t be further from the truth. I paid for the house she got and signed over the suv with no problem. I was told by my uncle yesterday that is what has been told that I was a liar and a monster by my own friends. I thought about taking up for myself but only make everything worse. I’m through with relationships though.

    Reply

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