9 Things to Consider Before You Get Back With an Ex

Is it Time to Consider the Unthinkable?

Psychology Today reports that 62 percent of lovers would consider going back to an ex, regardless of the skeletons hiding in their closet. The percentage of those who actually go through with it and succeed is quite a bit less. However, where there’s a chance, there will always those who are willing to make that leap of faith. Before you make room for your ex’s cemetery to fit back in your closet and head over to make amends, there are a few things that you should consider first.

1. Loneliness

One of the most dangerous reasons to go back to an ex is out of loneliness. These feelings could be brought on by low self-esteem, another breakup, or just looking for some convenient companionship. We all feel lonely from time to time, so don’t let this vulnerability lead you to a mistake.

2. Time

Some people make the mistake of going back to an ex after only a short period of time. If you want to make a go of it, put some time in between your relationship, so that you can accept being single as an alternative to a bad relationship. Part of the process of a breakup is the tendency to beat yourself up over making terrible mistakes, and wish you could try again. Only after fully accepting being apart should a couple look at giving things a second chance.

3. Forgiveness

You may feel like you’ve had enough time and healing, but can you say you forgive your ex for everything that has happened. If you can’t completely forgive them, you won’t be able to start over with an open heart.

4. Change

If you jump into a relationship with an ex, things may seem better for a couple of weeks, until old habits fall back into place. Then you’ll just find yourself right back where you left off. There were reasons it didn’t work the first time, so you need to find new ways of doing things, otherwise, you’re wasting your efforts.

5. First Love

Youthful sweethearts (before age 22) are often considered very special people throughout our lives. Over 60 percent of people look back on their first boyfriend/girlfriend with fond memories. Many psychologists give the thumbs up to give an old flame from high school or college another try. Often, these did not work out due to immaturity, timing, or parent disapproval, and a second or third attempt might be the charm.

6. Young Love

Young love, in general, is a very magical memory for some people. It represents a time when we were less cautious, more trusting, and more open to sharing our feelings. When we recoup a love affair from the past, memories of these youthful feelings can blind us from obvious red flags, so it’s important to hold onto our adult sensibilities. 80 percent of married men and women who seek out a sweetheart from their youth, end up having an affair, egged on by fantasy rather than logic.

7. Past Failures, Future Success

In some cases, the mistake’s couples make that lead to a breakup or divorce, are the very same things that seep trouble into the rest of their lives, including their career and self image. It is through these very failures that people can sometimes overcome immaturity and inadequacy, and grow to become better mates.

8. Rebound

There’s a lot of talk about just getting out of a bad relationship, and then jumping into a new one soon after. This is considered to be a rebound, and can be unhealthy when you are trying to find closure to a previous hurt. According to a new study, however, the benefit of achieving a newfound relationship (rebound or not) can offer an optimistic outlook on dating that can break the pattern of going back to an ex repeatedly. Just be careful not to hurt your rebounding partner in the process.

9. Friendship

Some lovers may confuse feelings of friendship with desiring to try again with an ex. According to research, many former partners who began as friends, can resume back to their old relationship once a romance has run its course. Some couples are better left as friends, so make sure you have your feelings sorted out before rekindling something you shouldn’t.

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4 thoughts on “9 Things to Consider Before You Get Back With an Ex

  1. miss angelica

    I am miss angelica. I grew up and live in alabama a wonderful place in
    the united state of america. I live in a scattered life with my ex.
    Because he always get me beaten everyday. Now i have 3 kids for him.
    But now he left us to california in search of a lady. I never new he
    was on a love spell attack. It really touches me. I cried everyday for
    him. But one day my best friend i have came to visit me and i laid
    everytin that happen between i and him to her. She took me to a man.
    He is a witch doctor. He consulted his powerful oracle and told me not
    to worry that after two days he will come begging me. It really works.
    After the 2 day i met him on our door step crying and begging me that
    he made a mistake. That i should forgive him. I really did. And we
    were back to our relationship again. Now i will use this medium to
    tell every one who find his or herself in this mess that he should
    contact him at he will be glad to hear from
    you. No fee needed from you.

    Reply
  2. Dennis Perhach

    I saw nothing here allowing for HER having been the one who ended what might have been a beautiful relationship! I lost two of the most beautiful women in the entire world to hearsay and their unwillingness to allow for the fact that I might have been telling the truth! As a matter of fact, if I thought my wife of all these years read these, I would not be writing this. I love her and have since we first met, but in all honesty I would have to think twice (or more) before passing up a chance to be with my first love again. And I’ve spoken with three different psychiatrists , all, by the way, women ,who when they heard the whole story had to agree that I just may have a point. But again, it’s been a long time, so I can only give what love I have left to my wife. But…..

    Reply
  3. erumhabiberumhabib

    m in same condition and m soo confused coz after my ex i got a new boy frend and now my ex came back and my 2nd boy frend is not showing any intrust in me i know he loves me but he is ignoring me i dnt want to leve him for my ex but he is forcing me to leave him by his attitude and he still dnt know that my ex is trying to do contact with me… plz help me wot i have to do…..

    Reply
  4. ivyx5198

    Can I get an Amen up in here? Really… can I? I see it like this. Recyling does NOT apply to relationships. Most people have a really hardtime ending relationships. There was good reason. Trust yourself.
    Namaste Ivy oxox

    Reply

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