A cheating spouse or partner is always a devastating situation. Knowing whether you want to move forward or cut your losses is a difficult thing. Each situation is unique and some even end up creating a stronger relationship as we will see.
Should You Forgive and Trust a Cheating Spouse?
Friday from Nigeria asks:
If you forgive a cheating partner, does that means that he/she will not cheat again when they accept they’re back in the relationship?
Psychic Red ext. 9226 Responds:
Just because a disloyal partner is forgiven for their transgressions, it does not guarantee absolute loyalty. It would be nice if it worked that way, but it doesn’t. However, the opposite is also true – just because someone strays once, it isn’t indicative a pattern of behavior that will continue to repeat. There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to fidelity, only individual situations, opportunities, and responses. Are you dealing with a cheating spouse and need advice, contact a psychic today!
Many times, when a relationship is tested by infidelity, it redefines the couple. The cheater often finds clarity and an appreciation for their forgiving partner that they never would have achieved otherwise. As the anger and pain is worked through on both sides, the foundation of the relationship is deconstructed and rebuilt – often deepening the feelings and ability to more boldly hone with one another into play. This can be a very healing path, for the individuals and relationship, leading to a deeper love and stronger foundation. This is no easy task, but very worthwhile for those who truly do want to honor their partner fully and create a happier, healthier, successful union.
While forgiving someone of such a huge betrayal is painful and difficult, this is only the beginning of the hard work. The relationship itself needs to reflect the forgiveness, and go through the process of rebuilding trust, and correcting deficiencies. For some people, cheating is their way of crying out that there are issues or problems, within themselves, or the foundation of the relationship. All too often I hear, “He (or she) doesn’t understand me” or “He (or she) doesn’t hear me.” And they go on to say, “But this outside party really seemed to get me – and things just happened.” Well, nothing “just happens,” but the reasons for WHY it happened is what needs to be examined and worked through.
Typically, people who are happy with their partners and relationships don’t cheat. They think about it, even fantasize about it, but they won’t endanger their true happiness and stability by reckless affairs for fear of destroying their relationship or hurting their partner. Nine times out of ten, the cheater was trying to soothe themselves, and hurting their mate is simply collateral damage, not the true intent. But, every action does cause a reaction…
Working through a single transgression can be one of the most difficult, and most rewarding, challenge a relationship can overcome. But if forgiveness cannot actually be achieved or infidelity is a repeat theme or occurrence, then the relationship itself is likely to fail and may not actually be worth trying to save. While many people believe in the saying that, “Everybody deserves a second chance,” the truth is, that is a very personal judgment and decision. Love and trust go hand in hand – one will suffer without the other.
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