Don’t Give Up, Yet!
I work with some pretty insightful people. Yes, they are psychic. Beyond being able to see what’s ahead in love, they have some pretty deep understandings about how to be you, discover the real you, live the real you and as Oprah says “Be the best you.” Here are some of their reasons why you should continue to keep dating even if you’re ready swear off men/women forever!
1. You just ended a bad relationship.
It’s bad enough your heart is broken, and now I’m telling to get out there and date more. Asia ext. 5486 explains a broken heart this way, “Broken hearts are one of the absolute worst pains there are out there. You can’t see it, but you can feel it, and it stings to the bone. The great thing about a broken heart is that it can always be mended.” If you need time to heal, then use it. Don’t use healing your heart as an excuse not to date.
2. You just divorced or your spouse died.
Rowan ext. 5423 sees the loss like this: “Fear of loss, pain and death keeps us locked in little boxes unable to fully unwind and open our hearts to others.” You do need time to heal, rediscover you as a single person and, possibly, reinvent yourself. Again, use this time to heal and not an excuse to not date. The difference is sometimes people use the past as an excuse to hide the real reason they’re not dating. If it’s fear of intimacy, getting close to someone again, trusting someone again or something else, understand it’s root meaning. Ask yourself: How is trusting someone a problem to me? How is my fear of getting close to someone again a problem? Once you find out these answers, you’re well on your way to healing.
3. Dating has been a major let down.
Anasela ext. 5154 says it best: “In dating, just be open. Don’t set a relationship up for failure at the very beginning based on the past.” Just because it happened in the past, perhaps repeatedly, does not mean it will happen again. That is, unless you want it to. Did you know sometimes we sabotage our own success unintentionally? It usually happens when we assume someone’s actions will result in the sames as past behaviors. To stop the assumption process, check your thoughts and feelings. If you think events are repeating themselves and could lead to disaster, talk abut it with your partner. Perhaps they don’t realize how you’re interpreting their actions. Give the person a chance to see things from your point of view and watch the bond grow.
4. Is this one your soulmate?
Maryanne ext. 9146 says, “Enjoy a date without worrying if your date is ‘the one’.” And what is a soulmate anyway? Isn’t it someone that meets our needs, wants and desires? It just seems like magic when it happens, and perhaps there is a bit of that. If you know what you want and you tell the universe this, you’ll be surprised how quickly you’ll get a return on your investment.
5. You’re still figuring out what you want.
“Think of dating like a major job interview and you are the employer. You want to make sure you are hiring the right person to take good care of your heart.” Wise words from Simone ext. 5346. As for interviews, you prep. for it, right? You take time to research the company, its history, culture and its potential future. While researching, don’t you think to yourself, will this be a good fit for me? You just know when it fits or when you’re forcing a fit for whatever reason. As you get to know your date, allow the past, present and future to unfold naturally. Then you’ll be able to easily see if this person is a fit or if your forcing it.
6. You’re angry with everyone and everything.
Fiona ext. 5178 is right when she said: “You won’t attract a peaceful mate if you are on fire and hate the world.” What you’re attracting now is probably not what you will want once you’ve restored your mind, body and spirit balance. Why you’re angry or what got you angry right now is not so important as it is to understand how the anger is a problem in your life. Ask yourself, how is it that being so angry with everyone/everything is a problem? And with that answer, how is that a problem? Keep drilling down with each answer and you’ll find your “A-HA!” moment. You’ll see where you’re anger is blinding you and how to put the anger to rest.