Your Relationship: What are They Trying to Say?
Denise from Dorchester asks:
If my boyfriend tells me he needs space because the connection is not there, does this means he’s trying to tell me in a nice way that the relationship is over?
Psychic Red ext. 9226 Responds:
I hate to say this, but your boyfriend is being honest with you. Try to appreciate that he does care a lot about you, and really doesn’t want to hurt you or be cruel. But for a while now he has been struggling with feeling more than a bit smothered by the confines of the relationship.
Please don’t think you did anything wrong, because you didn’t. It’s not as if there was an event or specific aspect that has caused this; it’s just been building up over time. Your boyfriend is, and has been, struggling with his own emotions and his place in life.
While painful, the best thing you can do is let him go.
This man does love you, but the relationship itself has fallen into a place of habit and routine. That, on top of his personal turmoil, has led him to feel trapped and unable to really sort through and get back to the high feeling of being “in love.” So, give him the space and time he needs.
There is a very good chance that when he finds his personal clarity once again, he is going to find his way back to you. But, I’m not suggesting you put your life in suspension and wait for him. You’re going to hurt for a while, but you will also be free to go on living, so LIVE. Some distance between the two of you is also going to benefit you.
While this relationship is certainly headed for a separation or a break, it isn’t necessarily the final chapter between the two of you. But, it is much better to risk a true ending and reunite with happiness, than to try and avoid a severance and eventually part forever. Those are pretty much the two paths that present for you and your boyfriend at this time.
For a while, the two of you were lost in each other. Then life and the relationship settled into something a bit more routine. Sometimes, the safety of love and a committed relationship can douse the flames of desire and passion and that has happened between the two of you. So give him his space, let go of the safety net and things will look very positive for a reunion, when the both of you are strong and independent once again.
If it helps, don’t look at this as a loss or an ending. Look at this as a time to rediscover and be true to yourself, as your boyfriend will be doing the same. And, as each of you grows stronger again as individuals, you will have the opportunity to reunite and reconstruct your relationship in order to get it back to what it started out as. You’ll have the chance to begin again, and the knowledge to avoid the stresses and missteps of the past.
Denise, everyone wants the love that’s going to last forever. You are in a painful-but-good position, because you have the opportunity to decide whether your forever is going to be heavenly and bound by love, or hellish and bound by promises made in the past.
Believe what this man is telling you and respect him and his words. Some risks are worth taking because they do bring about the biggest rewards.
I’m sorry you have to go through this, but it really is for the best—not just for him, but also for you.
I wish you the best.
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