When your heart has had enough, but your mind won’t let it go, this advice will help. See the road ahead and you will move on from this heartache.
When It’s Over and You Want to Let it Go
AC from Donetsk asks:
Exactly a year ago, I broke up with a man I’d had a tumultuous, and if I’m honest, addictive, relationship with for a few years. Even though I knew it was the right thing to do, the aftermath of breaking up led to the worst year of my life. I still struggle to accept what happened and move on. I have just heard rumors that he is going through a very difficult time, the details were very hazy, but there was even the suggestion that he may have gotten someone pregnant by accident. Hearing this, although perhaps completely unfounded, has sent me back into the downward spiral of pain and anxiety about our relationship. I guess I just want to know – are these rumors true? What should I be prepared for in this situation? How can I STOP caring once and for all? Any insight you could give me to help the pain go away would be eternally appreciated.
Psychic Red ext. 9226 Responds:
I’m so sorry that things have been so rough for you. Unfortunately, karmic relationships are often the most difficult to recover from. This relationship was soaked in karma…
There is a solid line of fact in the rumors you’ve heard. That certainly isn’t what you were hoping to hear, nor does it do anything overwhelmingly productive for your healing path. But, that doesn’t mean you can’t use the pain this swirls up to your benefit. You can, if you choose to.
When it comes to lost love and broken hearts, there is no magic pill. There is no advice that is so wise and so sage that it erases the pain and liberates the spirit. Sometimes, the only way out is through.
You are correct, though. You did the right thing. I often say, “Being bad is easy, it’s being good that’s hard.” Corny as it may be, it’s also true, and applicable to more areas of our lives than just our actions.
It’s very easy to get swept up in emotion and memory, and it’s challenging to stay present. Being present doesn’t mean you forget your past, or find the right button to push that makes all the love and pain of your history seem like a scene from someone else’s movie. But, being present does mean that you center yourself and focus your energy on Right Now, and all the truths of this moment in time. So, you are going to continue to care about him, but you need to realize that it is more important and productive to shift your focus to caring about you. Spend some time in quiet meditation to try and gain some clarity about the truest essence and effect this relationship had on you, and how it has shaped you into the person you have become. I’m not saying peel of scabs to old wounds so that you can focus on his flaws and shortcomings, though you might go through some of that. So, re-live it, then let it go – it no longer serves you. In time, you’ll get to a place where the good memories, and the “what coulda/woulda/shoulda beens” will seem a little lacking. If you’re diligent, you will get to that place that I call, “HUH!” It’s that moment when clarity washes you clean, understanding warms your center, and you are finally free to just, well, BE. Instead of tormenting yourself with your burden, you will become weightless with the exuberance of someone who finally knows their worth and capability. When you’re there, you can look back, see the good, bad and ugly. But it won’t rule you. Even though you still may care, this relationship falls away from defining you and into a place where it simply becomes an intense stretch of scenery in this life’s journey.
Through my own experiences, and more so, through the thousands of other lives I’ve stepped into while giving readings, I’ve learned that there really are two ways of viewing any situation. Both ways are valid, but when a person is in balance with themselves – the truths are much less harsh. It will take you time, effort, and a lot of hard work to get from, “He moved on without me” to “Wow, if I’d allowed myself to stay stuck, I would never have/had/achieved this happy, beautiful and loving life that I’m living now!” I do see you getting there. So, instead of making your mission one of letting go, understand that this is your cue to move forward; a chance to grow and change with an open heart. History refers to what was, but living is about not only what is – but everything that can be…
You will get through this. I promise. Happiness will come; when you’ve healed enough to embrace it.
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