Sometimes people in our lives can be very difficult to deal with or remove from our life. Many do not get the hints or even the direct approach to stop what they are doing and many will continue to be a bother. Red offers some great advice on dealing with this situation.
He Can’t Take a Hint or the Truth
Faith from Akron asks:
What vulnerability is causing me to not shake a guy friend who is really not a healthy person for me? I’ve tried different things, but he just refuses to accept my repeated statements that the relationship is not working out.
Psychic Red ext. 9226 Responds:
While I don’t consider kindness to be a vulnerability, in this particular case, it is a bit of a detriment. I’m not saying that you need to go all evil, psycho chick on this man, but you do need to take a firmer stand in word and deed when it comes to dealing with him. Get more personalized advice, contact a psychic today!
In a perfect world, you would be able to get your point across, relieve the pressure, and come out the other side with him still being some level of friend. Unfortunately, the world is far from perfect, and this man has a whole lot of hope. So, not only is he truly not hearing you, your continued tolerance and kindness is being misconstrued in his mind as some kind of possibility.
He isn’t going to go away. He isn’t going to fade away. You are going to need to gather strength, be simple and blunt, and restrict his access to you. The two of you are in a position where friendship is actually emotionally dangerous. He’ll think it can become more, and you’ll continue to be burdened by feeling some sort of responsibility toward him.
Faith, you are not responsible for this man. By extending kindness and trying to release yourself from him in a caring manner, you are assuming a responsibility that you do not wish to carry. You have to get past that, and you also have to get past the idea that the two of you can still communicate and maintain a level of friendship until he has moved forward in his life. There is a loss here for both of you, but the reality is—you have enough friends, most of whom are a heck of a lot less draining!
Taking care of yourself and your needs doesn’t make you selfish. Likewise, trying to take care of someone who wants more than you can comfortably give doesn’t make you selfless.
The longer you permit this situation to drag out, the more difficult and wearing it will become on you. The old saying, “Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind,” has a certain amount of merit. In your case, however, you don’t have to be cruel—but you do have to be clear. The hardest part you will face getting your point across is becoming and staying unavailable to this man. The words aren’t enough on their own. It’s up to you to reinforce them.
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