Red Responds: They Shared a Profound Loneliness

Dear Red,

I have been dating a man who has been such a wonderful blessing to me. We both had lost our long time spouses and had a profound lonlieness. I have felt such a re-birth with his company, and he says the same. My problem is that I have not met his family yet, and I am worried about how they will take to me. We started dating early after his wife’s passing, and I don’t want this to be a wedge between his family. Will this all work out?

Judy in Pittsburgh

Dear Judy,

Meeting the family is always a stressful situation. Definitely a “big scary” in the relationship world.

First, let me say that it is in your best interest to bide your time and not push meeting his family. It will happen, just on his terms, and his timeline. If you express repeated desire to meet the other people that he holds dear in his life, he will feel pressured and it will become the wedge you are so hoping to avoid.

When he is ready and you do meet the family, just relax. Don’t try to impress or win anyone over. It is going to take time for everyone to adjust and adapt to you and the fact that he has a new love in his life. It’s a slow transition; but at least it is polite.

When the time comes, just try to keep in mind that this man loves you. Eventually his family will understand why. Until you are “formally accepted”, find peace in his love for you and the relationship you share. It is his love that introduces you to the family, and his love that will eventually make you a member of the family.

Hang in there!

Brightest Blessings,
Red
Ext. 9226

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