Long-Distance Love Between Minnesota and Wisconsin
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Dear Psychic Reed,
My name is Barbara and I met Daniel a month ago. We live three hours apart; I’m in Wisconsin and he’s in Minnesota. I’ve lived most of my life in Minnesota but have been in Wisconsin for the last three years taking care of my elderly parents. Daniel and I have talked many times over the phone and when we met for the first time I was smitten. He treated me like no other man has treated me and he made me melt. Our second date was just as wonderful as our first and now we share long-distance love.
Daniel and I have both been cheated on by past partners, so I feel he would never cheat on me because he knows how hurtful cheating is. However, when I asked Daniel if he was seeing other women, his answer upset me. He said that the distance between us makes it difficult for him to be exclusive and that I have so much going on in my life that I wouldn’t have much time for him or long-distance love. It’s devastating!
I can’t stop thinking about Daniel and I’m considering moving back to Minnesota. If I do, will he want to be in a relationship with me? Does he still have feelings for me? Where do you see our relationship going?
Psychic Reed ext. 5105 responds:
Yes, Daniel certainly does have feelings for you. When I meditated on your romance, I saw that you and Daniel were not on the same page during the conversation you mentioned in your letter. When you asked if he was seeing other women, what you really wanted to know is how he felt about you. You wanted reassurance about the future but instead asked if he was seeing others. It was devastating because you’ve been cheated on and because he answered the question you actually asked instead of the question you really wanted to be answered.
Some things are too hard for us to ask, so we ask something else instead. We then tend to interpret the answer as if it were the answer to the question we wanted to ask but didn’t. So in a way, you were discussing feelings and the future while Daniel was discussing his relationship needs. This is a normal type of misunderstanding—a very human thing to do and it happens to all of us.
Another normal human trait is that everyone has something that makes them feel securely attached. For some people, communicating does it. For others, doing favors or having favors done for them is what makes them feel most loved. Daniel is a man that gathers his sense of attachment from sharing experiences in person. This is just who he is and yes, that does make it difficult for him to carry on long-distance love. He is self-aware enough to know that he won’t feel secure at a distance, therefore, he’s resistant to making a romantic commitment at a distance. He is wise enough to know his limits in this area and to not settle for less than he needs. This is actually a very good sign!
You will return to Minnesota to live and this will be the start of a new opportunity for you and Daniel. As you two turn your long-distance love into a full-time romance, keep his (and your own) attachment style in mind. They are different and that’s also normal. However, you will find plenty of common ground so that both of you can feel safe and secure in your future commitment to one another.
Start gathering those boxes,
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