5 Ways We Self-Sabotage

Sabotage is easily recognized when the enemy is known to us: a competitive co-worker, a nasty ex-lover, or a jealous family member. However, the real challenge we face is from the enemy within. Read on for simple suggestions that will keep your inner saboteur in check…

1. Negative Self-Talk

Thought of by some as the “the devil on their shoulder,” this destructive inner voice wreaks havoc on a person’s self-esteem. All too often, this negative inner voice is so entrenched in your ego that you do not recognize when it is spouting its nasty insults and tearing down your feelings of self-worth. This destructive internal dialogue ensues during both the good and the bad events in your life, and is always there either to rain on your parade, or to drag you down into sadness or depression. Maybe you received a promotion at work, but instead of feeling proud of yourself, that little voice whispers that you won’t be able to live up to the challenge because you’re not smart enough; or perhaps you got in a car accident, and instead of being grateful everyone is OK, you can only focus on how inept you are to have crashed in the first place.

Beware, too, of self-fulfilling prophecies. The power of the mind is an awesome thing, and if you go around all day thinking that you will never succeed in getting what you want, you will do subconscious things every moment that sabotage those desires.

2. Fear Takes Over

Fear of the unknown can be a powerful motivator in the life choices you make and the chances you take. Venturing outside of your comfort zone, changing old ways of thinking, takes courage. It is much easier to stay in a dead-end job or an unhealthy relationship than to give up those old safety nets and take the plunge into something completely new. Life changes are good things, allowing people to grow, refreshing their perspective, and providing new experiences and adventures. You might make some mistakes along the way, but opening yourself up to life’s ups, downs, and unknowns – despite your fears – transforms that fear into courage.

3. Impossible Expectations

Recognizing your limitations is not admitting weakness, but respecting and understanding your abilities enough to achieve the maximum outcome. By setting impossible timelines and expectations, you only set yourself up for failure, resulting in disappointment and self-hatred. Be honest with yourself about your abilities and strengths, and nurture and respect them by challenging yourself realistically, then allowing yourself a reward for a job well done.

4. Making Excuses

Placing blame is a common method of self-sabotage. By not taking responsibility for the kind of life you have created for yourself, you allow the unhappiness and dissatisfaction to continue indefinitely. If it is always someone else’s fault, or blamed on the “unfairness of life,” then you don’t have to do the work necessary to change it, or to admit which poor choices have led you to where you are today. But if you stand up and take full responsibility for your life, you regain the power to navigate your existence as you choose, even if that means admitting mistakes and accepting the long hard road ahead of you.

5. Guilt Trips

While having a healthy conscience is admired and appreciated, berating yourself for mistakes, mishaps and whatnot can drive anyone crazy. Learning from the past, pardoning yourself and moving on, is essential to leading a happy life. If you are constantly wracked with guilt over the past, you can hardly focus all of your attention and energy on the present; you might even make new and destructive choices based on your fear of the past.

At some point, everyone has fallen victim to self-sabotage. Recognizing when this happens, taking positive action against this self-defeating mechanism, and making an agreement with yourself to restore your own power, will surely change your life. Remember, you are what you eat, so if you eat your own negative words every day, you will become a reduced and diminished version of your own self. Or as someone wise once said: “Thoughts become words. Words become actions. Actions become habits. Habits become character. And character becomes your destiny.”

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6 thoughts on “5 Ways We Self-Sabotage

  1. Jason

    I have encountered psychic abiilities. Predictions of the future and goring spiritually and the slam! Something happened and I really need to talk about it. It is not something I can talk to most people about and I would like some support and encouragement or help in any way shape or form.

    Thank you,
    Jason

    Reply
  2. Pingback: The Truth About Hypnosis | California Psychics Blog

  3. Troyann Williams

    Hi Alina,
    I enjoyed reading your post on the ways in which we sabotage our own success. I think you are spot-on with your list and I would like to add to #3 Impossible Expectations. I think that we are living in a time when far too many people are claiming to have created great levels of success much more quickly and easily than they actually did. It seems that admitting to having challenges and problems has gone out of fashion.
    Creating success takes great levels of persistence and fortitude! I would love to see more people share their “humanness” and sharing what they did to overcome their challenges and problems.
    Just my two-cent’s worth! :-)
    Thanks again for your insightful posts.
    Troyann

    Reply
  4. Jacqueline

    What a self-evaluating article, these patterns become so easy to fall into, one thing that I have learned is to be fluid, like water, don’t let issues that are out of our control start to take a life of its own, because it will if we allow it.
    If you cant change it or fix it, let it go, take care of a situation the best you can, but the worst thing that one can do is to wallow in it, dwell in it or beat your self up, this doesn’t do any one any good especially yourself.

    Blessings and Big Hugs!
    Jacqueline x9472

    Reply
  5. velvetoversteel

    Wonderful and so needed article, Alina! I have been there and now try to help others sabotaging their own futures and happiness. Many times the ‘words’ of others, esp. from our childhoods and partners, ring in our ears & heads over and over for years… or forever, if we don’t STOP them.

    I personally used self-hypnotic/relaxation cd’s at night when I went to sleep. Those with positive affirmations and visualizations. Check them out on websites that let only the customers who purchase them, review them and pick what you need to ‘hear’. It takes time to reprogram our minds with positive thought and feelings, esp. when the negative ones have been there most of our lives. However, this really works!

    Once you learn positive affirmations, repeat them to yourself whenever the negative thoughts come in, pushing them Out and replacing them with our new positive, healing thoughts.

    The coming New Year is a great time for a New thoughts and a Happy You!
    Blessings & Hugs,
    Coreen @ VOS

    Reply
  6. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    BEST article I’ve read in a few months !!!!!

    I see, time & time again…..people self sabotaging themselves by allowing their fears and insecuruties to get to them, and thus, making them spiral down into a negative pattern of thinking and self talk.

    Fear will rob you of your power ……always. Don’t give your own personal power away!!!!!

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

    Reply

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