Love With Healthy Boundaries
Here are some tools to help you practice tough love; that is, love that has healthy boundaries, love that can help them see their harmful behavior, instead of enabling them to continue in these negative patterns! These are great tools to use if you’re stressed out and worried about how to make ends meet AND support an adult child, someone who has addiction issues, or simply someone just not pulling their weight.
First of all, it’s time to face it yourself! Really look at the situation. If it helps, write down the different ways that their behavior is negatively affecting your life. This is not for them; it’s the wake-up call for you. This honest look at how you are being harmed by them will help inspire you to do the “tough” part: making boundaries and sticking to them! Before you act, really be sure. Look at everything they could offer that they already do to help out, or try and compensate for what they don’t do, and figure that into the equation. Be clear in your intention: what, when and how the boundaries will take effect for them. Get more personalized advice, contact a psychic today!
If you have an issue with someone that ignores your attempts to discuss the matter, you may need to create actions that will get their attention: a lock on the refrigerator door, a notice of your intention for them to MOVE OUT within 30 days, with a clear list of how the belongings and personal items will be packed up, the changing of locks. These are drastic actions for drastic situations. Just know you are not helping them by letting them lean so heavily on you… that you are harmed!
Now arrange a meeting time: a family meeting, a shared meal or cup of coffee, something that you can tell them in advance “I would like to talk to you.” Make it clear and not a guessing game, do not hint, make sure they know this is to talk and that you are not willing to speak about it until then (I’ll tell you why in a minute). Make sure it’s clear when and where this will take place, and if they act like they won’t go, or you believe they could blow it off, tell them that if that is the case “some things will happen whether you know about them or not, so it’s best to come and find out.”
Prepare yourself for action. Once you are on this path, it’s clear that you must keep your emotional momentum going! You cannot falter or weaken; it is the same thing as defeat. These folks survive by using that against you—for some reason their survival mode is set to take advantage of loving help. You need to be strong, set boundaries AND follow through with each and every step. They will use whatever skills they have to try and impose guilt… do not accept it! This is for their own good as well, and time will show that they will grow in becoming responsible for their own lives.
Exclusive offer: New customers can speak to a psychic for ONLY $1 per minute. Select your psychic advisor here.
Trying to resolve a complicated interpersonal matter?
Talk to a psychic life coach and get powerful insights to help you settle the situation. Call 1.800.573.4830
or choose your psychic now.