Say “No” to Relieve Stress
A major cause of stress is over-committing our time. Most of us find it challenging to say “Yes” to our personal needs and “No” to the requests and demands of others. We want to be included, to be liked, and to avoid being perceived as uncaring. It can be very uncomfortable to simply say a much-needed “No.” We often don’t even know how to not say “Yes.”
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I had a client who called to ask if he would receive a promotion at work. As I tuned in, I felt his stress and heard Chief Joseph say, “He needs to learn to say ‘No’ and stop taking on more things. Time management is key for him. He is feeling emotionally drained and mentally exhausted.” When I relayed Chief Joseph’s message, my caller blurted out, “I have a belief system that the very word ‘No’ blocks the energy of the infinite possibilities in the universe and keeps me from my good. My belief is so deeply programmed, I live it without even being aware of this going on while I am in the moment.” He further explained that he didn’t feel comfortable saying “No” to his girlfriend, his family, and certainly not at work, even though he knew he was often overwhelmed, stressed, and frequently anxious.
A Fear of Letting Go
His guide told me he had a fear of letting go of this behavior. He had a fear of not being accepted, not being liked and not having his own needs understood. And, he had a deep fear of disappointing and letting down those he cared about most. Even though he logically understood letting go of this behavior would allow him to be free and feel good about who he really was, he felt stuck as to how he could actually do this.
Past Life Patterns
I was shown a lifetime where he was in service to a king. He was never allowed to turn down a request or command, no matter the consequences. In another life experience, the well-being of his family depended upon his ability to appease an egocentric land baron. He was responsible for collecting all rents, levies and taxes. His livelihood depended upon his saying “Yes” to all requests at all hours of the day and night. In this current life his upbringing expected a great deal from him in regards to doing as told or asked.
I was given the following “I AM” statement by his angels for him to declare out loud:
“I AM now cancelling all contracts, agreements, vows and commitments from past, present and future lifetimes, experiences, dimensions and alternate universes, releasing forever all and any resistance to saying ‘No’ to others and ‘Yes’ to myself.”
Learning to say “No”
Here are a few tips for those of your struggling to say “No.” I also shared them with my caller.
1. Saying “No” gets easier the more you say it. Adopt this mantra: “I remember to say ‘No’ and it is easier each time for me to say ‘No.'”
2. Consider putting a rubber band (or another reminder) around your wrist to reinforce the new behavior emerging from you. Have faith that things are really changing for you.
3. When asked to take on a new task, say, “Let me get back to you about that tomorrow.” Then really check in with yourself and see if you can actually do it or if you even want to do it. Is this task a “Yes,” “Maybe” or “Hell No!”?
4. If you don’t like saying the word “No,” consider saying this instead: “I have too much going on right now. I hope you understand.”
A Promotion and More
Months later, he called again to tell me things had improved. He was better at saying “No” when he needed to. He felt happier and wasn’t full of stress. He also felt closer to his girlfriend and their relationship was stronger. And finally, he’s being promoted!
A Personal Power Betrayal
Saying “Yes” when it’s internally a “No” or a “Maybe” is a personal power betrayal many people experience. The world really needs to have a fully empowered you, so find out what your limits are and allow them to guide you when the time comes to say “No.” Exercising your free will creates healthy boundaries. Saying “No” to what is not right for you is the most spiritually liberating thing you can do for yourself. Stand your ground. Call on your inner strength. Ask your higher power, angels and guides to help you. Own the power of “No,” the power of being true to yourself, and say “Yes” to all your higher power and life have for you. “Yes!”