Misery loves company, and nobody ever said good company can’t be found in misery. There are countless articles on how to be happy, but how many of them really motivate you enough to take action? Today we’re going to throw all the politically correct, feel-good, mumbo-jumbo nonsense out the window, and get right down to the thing most people do best… making themselves miserable!
1. Follow the Path of Least Resistance
No matter where you are, who you’re with, or what you’re doing, there’s absolutely nothing you can do to improve your current relationship or situation… short of putting a great amount of effort into planning something better for yourself. But why set course for uncharted territory, when it’s so easy and convenient to follow the same footprints, make the same mistakes, and enjoy the same misery time and again. They say there’s safety in numbers, but there’s actually greater safety in surrounding yourself with noncommittal plans.
2. Live in the Past
The one thing that’s even easier than not planning for the future is living in the past. There are so many lessons to be had from living in the past, like fear, depression, rejection, and self defeat. When you live in the past, you at least know what to expect, so it excuses you from the responsibility of living life to the fullest. You should never forgive others for their mistakes, so why extend that courtesy to yourself? Rehash your mistakes over and over until they are no longer just a mistake, but a reminder of your inadequacies as a human being. Relish in your failures, and remember that any failure from the past cannot be repeated if you do not truly believe in a future.
3. Never Learn to Deal With Criticism
One of the benefits of growing up in a “feel good” society, is that we never have to accept criticism. Life is a constant smiley face sticker, and if a boss, lover, or peer offers constructive criticism, you should take offense, stick both fingers in your ears and hum the I Dream of Jeannie theme song until they shut up. You know how to do your job, love your spouse, and conduct a meaningful friendship, so why listen to what anybody else has to say, especially if they know more than you? The only time you should listen to criticism is if it’s mean-spirited and hurtful. Painful words should be repeated again and again, until woven into an inner dialogue of self pity and anger.
4. Count Your Troubles, Not Your Blessings
There’s been several schmucks running around telling people not to sweat the small stuff, and to this I say… but how can we create misery out of feeling sorry for ourselves, unless we have a long list of reasons to be? One neat thing about being human is that you have the capacity to make almost any situation miserable. Did you ever think about where the real pain from life comes from? Is it sourced from the uncontrolled variables of your job, boss, affair, or relationships? No. You have complete control over how those things affect you. There is not any one person in the world capable of hurting you more than you can. You have more control over your life than you realize, so why not make it as miserable as you can!
5. Self Improve for Life
If you’re reading this, chances are that you’re looking for answers to a lifetime of self improvement and therapy. Self improvement is an interesting means of attaining misery by implying that you’re never really good enough the way that you are. People spend a quarter of their life investing in different opinions and products to better themselves in some way, without even giving a single thought to the possibility that they are already good enough!