6 Keys to Direct & Transform Your Life

Women’s Changing Roles in the World

Watching Jackie Kennedy the other night, I was reminded of the generational differences among us. Jackie’s thinking was typical of the “Silent Generation” (b. 1926-1945), also known as “Traditionalists.” She said she had no political views except for those of her husband, Jack Kennedy. She also questioned women who wanted to be in positions of power. My oh my, how things have changed, but you know what they say: “The more things change the more they remain the same.”

Michelle Bachmann (Boomer Gen.) illustrates elements of the “silent generation” in her relationship with her husband, who pretty much calls the shots; but then again, Michelle is in a position of power like those to which Jackie referred. Michelle seems to have integrated both the silent generation trait of submissiveness while pursuing a position of power under the guidance of her husband. Remember, he suggested she go to law school and become a tax attorney, a suggestion at which she balked, but nonetheless obeyed, and she became a tax attorney for the IRS.

Jackie O. became an associate editor for Doubleday Books, and struck out on her own, still enjoying romantic love, very much a fifties phenomenon.

Each generation brings with it, positive qualities that can benefit all of us. So in some areas of our lives we can cross over from aspects of one generation to another one.

After having traveled through different phases of our development, we have now arrived at a place of choice, or freedom. We are free to pick and choose. As the boundaries and mores of the past collapse, opportunities for self-exploration and personal evolution are here. We are now free to create our own boundaries without offense to any generation. We only need to recognize the fact of our freedom. Eventually, we will get used to it; besides, we were always free, we just didn’t know it.

So, it’s time to own the story, the drama we call our lives. We are the writers, directors and stars of this wonderful drama. Own it and know that we can rewrite our history anytime we want. The way to change our lives is to change our story,

A friend of mine shared an exercise he did in a transformational workshop. The leader suggested that everyone rewrite their childhood in a way that they would have liked it to have been rather than how it actually was. What an exercise! I did it and it changed the way I walked, talked and the way I felt. It was a very empowering process. It gave me a glimpse of the exceptional qualities that I possessed but never owned or manifested.

Important things to remember along the way:

1. We are powerless over other people’s behavior. We can’t change another person; In Zen it is often said that we either accept another person as they are, or move on. So many of us step into a relationship with the idea that we can change the other. Pish Posh! We must change ourselves or, better yet, accept ourselves as we are. Only then, can we move on.

2. We are not responsible for another’s behavior. We are only responsible for our own.

3. Important to trust that everything is in perfect order. Eventually, everything comes together for our highest good. (As Faith ext. 9608 says, “Be grateful for the challenges that bring detours on your path.  For as hard as that is to do, the challenges in your life take you to your most cherished sacred desires.”)

4. Don’t look for trouble.

5. Watch expectations. Watch out for bringing the past into the present. So, for example, John cheated on you after several years together. How can you trust your current love. It may take work, but you can trust your current Mr. Wonderful. Get into the process of forgiveness which may take a lifetime, but what an extraordinary teacher forgiveness can be. (And don’t forget to forgive yourself—as Rivers ext. 5273 says, “Be kind and forgiving of yourself. We are all human and we all make mistakes.”)

6. Live from your heart. As much as possible, live a life of love, honesty, compassion and gratitude.

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