3 Secrets to Dealing with Difficult People

There are people in your life that are just plain difficult to talk to and understand. Although you might want to tell them how they are causing problems, you probably can’t do this without looking difficult yourself. With these three secrets, you can deal with anyone and get through any situation.

1. Change Your Perspective

Psychic Deejay ext. 5435 points out in the video to let them be themselves. It might take some compassion to see what’s going on in their life or at that moment in time. Can you feel some sympathy or empathy for them? Also, check in with yourself to see if you’re taking on excess negative emotional baggage. If they’re having a difficult time, is it your responsibility to make them happy or feel better? We can only control ourselves, our emotions and our thoughts. Giving up control and finding compassion can help you disconnect from the emotionally-charged situation. By doing so, you can get a fresh perspective on how better to proceed.

2. Create a Rapport and Check Your Assumptions

As a technology developer, I used to work with lots of different groups of people. Most of the time, I worked directly with the department heads. There was one woman, a manager, who had a very strict standard and high, and sometimes unrealistic, expectations. It was an emotional roller coaster working with her. I complained a few times to my boss, the vice president, who was also this person’s boss. She remarked that we were all here because we were all highly effective in our jobs.

So using the first secret (changing my perspective), I began to figure out how to get to know her differently. By listening to the questions she was asking and the demands she was making, I slowly realized she was intimidated by technology. What I was making intimated her. That surprised me. She had been in the business for longer than I had been alive and she was intimidated by technology. Who knew?

Immediately, I changed the way I presented information to her. I presented information in smaller chunks and took more time to explain it. I gave her more time to digest the presentation and to ask questions.

Over time, she began to relax around me. She told me that she really enjoyed our meetings and that things were making more sense. Of course, that meant I became her default technology geek who explained lots of stuff (even things that had nothing to do with work), but I didn’t mind. Our working relationship had greatly improved.

3. Focus on What Needs to be Done

There are times when you don’t have time to create a rapport with the other person. They just want to finish the project. Instead of getting upset or trying to correct the situation, change your focus. Just look at what needs to be done now. Release what has transgressed and move on with it. You already know from the first secret how to change your perspective. Now it’s all about changing your focus from personal to the project. Again, you will remove yourself from being emotionally attached to the situation and you can get the job done.

What is ahead on your life path? Talk to a psychic and find out. Call 1.800.573.4830 or choose your psychic now.

29 thoughts on “3 Secrets to Dealing with Difficult People

  1. rita

    i hv younger sister she is always jealous n gossip trouble maker in family she married haves daughter son n husband her husband helped in my bad times coz i m widow i hv 2 sons i dont how to get her away from my site i hate her plz suggest me

    Reply
  2. Lena

    Rose asked for help!
    I saw your message and know what its like. Its hard to speak to people sometimes. So you can either write a clear letter to the person, say everything you need to say. Regarding your friendship, home responsibilitys and so on. Or sit down and talk with her in a quiet setting. It s hard to walk away from a long friendship without truley expressing why it had to end. Good luck and dont be afraid to speak your mind.

    Reply
  3. valentina

    I as a single mom would like to know how to deal with difficult children that are 19 and 21. Can’t talk to my son. He is angry and seems to take his anger out on me and blames me for marrying his dad that is in jail for Drugs, and because he grew up in a broken home, no matter what I say or explain he is just bitter and tries to see me suffer because he knows how much I worry about him so he threatens to join the marines and come home in a body bag or kill himself

    Reply
  4. Sharon

    I have a co worker that refuses to do what he needs to do daily. It is part of his job. I tell my bosses, they know, they see, but nothing ever is done from the top managers. I have refused to do the man’s work and help him out, since he has taken advantage of my help. Any suggestions? BTW, this has been going on for over a year!

    Reply
  5. hallender

    I’m so glad many of you found this to be helpful for you. When I was going through a rough patch with a friend, I actually did research on how to deal with difficult people and that’s where this article idea came from. Deejay’s video couldn’t have been a bigger help! She is so direct and insightful!

    Reply
  6. hallender

    Mary, I completely agree! There is absolutely no way to please them. So when I encountered this, I just acknowledge it and then a wonderful release happens. I no longer feel compelled to make them happy. Instead, I focus on the task and let the rest of it go!

    Reply
  7. Mary

    I agree with some of your statements, but there are people who are difficult in any situation and will always upset some people who do not understand this type of behavior. It is their personality and their control factor that drives this type of behavior.

    Reply
  8. Kimiko Simpson

    Wonderful suggestions when working in business, with colleagues, coworkers and the like. However, on a personal level, if one person’s negativity and constant criticism of you, especially when said person claims to be a friend, becomes detrimental to your mental health, then it is time to cut your losses and move on without that so-called friend in your life. Sad to say, this has happened to me recently.

    Reply
  9. rose

    this article couldnt have come at a better time. i have been friends with a girl for nearly 6 years and we moved in together. she is very abrasive and demanding and opinionated though. There are 5 of us that live under the same roof and have resorted to posting notes to please clean up after yourselves in the kitchen and bathroom but i still find myself cleaning up after her and her son in the kitchen so i can use it. i feel disrespected but affraid to say anything to her because of the reaction i might get from her. i see our friendship slipping away because of this. i feel i am getting resentful for not feeling like i can talk to her for fear of her reaction. i am lost , frusterated and to avoid conflict i feel it would be easier to just move out but we are tired into a lease for 8 more months and she owes me alot of money.
    HELP?

    Reply
  10. Andrew

    i’ve been moving around for four years and it’s been really chaotic i’m trying to find ood ways to help my family but not lose touch on what really matters in life i cant see whats ahead and i need time to myself but they dont understand , and the people around are treating mr with some extremely but negativity i dont want that i lived with that forl my whole life and been looking for ways to get rid of it and dont know how do you have any suggestions???

    Reply
  11. Angus McMahan

    Wow, this is great stuff and all done in three steps. I’m printing this out and tacking it up on my cubicle wall.

    Reply
  12. john j conroy

    people have free agency and free will. i have a very difficult boss that no matter what you do the boss gets worse.the boss continues with their compulsive lieing, vindictiveness, mind games and manipulation.the boss has to also want to change!!! we can plant a seed and be an excample nd do all the necessar4y things on our part but you cannot force a persons free will if they dont want to change like my boss.

    Reply
  13. LINDA

    Thank you so much for this reminder. This is very useful information. We all need to work on getting along, the world would be a better place.

    Reply
  14. SincerelyScorpio

    Ms. Deejay,

    This article really came home to me as I reflect back to my past. Its difficult day to day when bringing your best into a work place knowing someone has a grudge against you and your not quiet sure why. I have always 99% of the time, been an optimistic person, because thats how I want my day to end, in peace.

    I could go on, but thank you for blessing my day with a bit of compassion and peace.

    SincerelyScorpio

    Reply
  15. Godwin

    Dear Deejay,

    Many thanks.I wonder why we do not know this little secrets that makes life so sweet and beautiful

    Love and light
    Godwin Umoru

    Reply
  16. LYDIA LEGRAND

    THANK YOU FOR YOUR ARTICLE, IT SEEMED AS IF WAS SPECIALLY WRITTEN FOR ME.
    WE INHERITED A HOUSE (WE’RE TWO FULL BROTHERS AND ONE (HALF SISTER). SHE”S ALWAYS BEEN A VERY DIFICULT, TROUBLESOME PERSON ACTING AS IF SHE WERE THE ONLY ONE DAUGHTER, WE (MY BROTHER AND i) DID NOT EXIST AND ONCE MY FATHER AND HER MOTHER DIED SHE WAS THE ONE WHO, WITHOUT CONSULTING US, BROUGHT SOMEBODY TO LIVE IN THE HOUSE AND PROHIBITED ANYONE EVEN TO COME IN. NOW, AFTER 10 YEARS OF MY FATHER’S DISSAPEARANCE, I WENT BACK (I LIVE IN EUROPE) TO TRY TO SELL THE HOUSE.
    I KNOW SHE GOES THROUGH A VERY DIFFICULT SITUATION, AND I DECIDED TO MAKE THINGS UNBEARBLE FOR HER JUST TO MAKE HER FEEL THAT SHE CAN’T SELL THE HOUSE WITHOUT MY SIGNATURE. SO FAR, I HAVEN’T ACCEPTED ANY PROPOSITION, MY NEGATIVE EMOTIONS TOWARDS HER IMPEDE ME TO CHANGE MY PERSPECTIVE. IN THE PAST SHE TRIED THREE TIME TO SWINDLE WITH MONEY, I’VE TALKED TO A PSYCHIC WHO WARNED ME TO BE CAREFUL CAUSE ‘TREASON’CAME OUT THREE TIMES WHEN READIN THE TAROT CARDS. WHAT SHALL I DO ?????

    Reply
  17. ahmad

    in the name of god

    first of all i want to tks u in advance and 2ndly i want to comment about the prospect and future telling to be honest with u till this moment whatever i been told was absolutly wrong
    and just putting the people hope fo nothing looking for hollow

    brgds
    a.moulaei

    Reply
  18. Selby

    Being frustrated will fellow Department Heads myself and asking (praying) how to make things better and work for all….this article is like an answered prayer. Thank you.

    Reply

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