Don’t Lose Yourself
When we enter a relationship with someone, it’s natural to want to spend time with them. We want to share things about ourselves and learn about them. We get excited about making plans and experiencing things together – shopping, eating, watching movies, introducing them to friends, attending parties, etc. But while all of this newness is going on in your world, you may be making less time for friends or yourself – two things that are important to our personal growth and perspective. Everyone needs a little “me time,” and that’s why it’s important to retain some of your independence.
7 Reasons to be Independent
1. We All Need Our Personal Time.
Independence is a vital attribute in order to have a fully functioning relationship. If you enjoy a hobby but your partner does not, denying yourself that pleasure will only end in resentment. Occasional time to do whatever it is we feel like doing is essential. A hot, relaxing bath, a sappy, cry-your-eyes out movie rental, a video game marathon, or an adult-ed class… whatever it is that rejuvenates you, give each other the space to do it on a regular basis.
In the same vein, don’t neglect your BFFs. We’ve all witnessed the guy or girl who throws themselves into a relationship completely, essentially forgetting their friends. If you do that, then your support system will disappear, and you don’t want that. It’s important to maintain your non-romantic relationships.
2. Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder.
Independence does not necessarily mean full detachment from your beloved. Independence within a relationship is important; it’s needed for the foundation and shelter of the relationship to help it stand firm against adversities. Lack of independence is why so many couples fall along the way, while healthy independence is why others succeed. The strongest couples have trust as their foundation, and they trust one another to be faithful and upstanding when they are apart.
Pursuing independent activities builds anticipation and the desire to see one another again. Whether you’re apart for a day, a week, or longer, coming together at the end of the day and being in each other’s presence can feel like the sun breaking through the clouds – warm and exhilarating. A little time apart will help you appreciate the times you have together.
3. You’ll Have Lots of Interesting Experiences to Share.
When you and your partner have different jobs, hobbies, and friends, chances are you’ll both have lots of different experiences to share with each other. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have things that you do together, of course. But there’s something to be said about seeing the excitement in your partner’s eyes when they tell you about their amazing accomplishment. You may not share all of each other’s interests, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t be interested to hear, see, and even feel each other’s excitement.
4. Your Independence Can be Comforting to Your Other Half.
When you’re in a relationship it’s good to know that if your partner had to take the lead, they would handle it well. Whether that means taking care of the bills, keeping a roof over your heads, or just being able to stay afloat emotionally, having an independent partner provides a certain level of comfort. It’s great to be independent, but it’s also nice to have someone that you have faith in and that you can trust.
Sometimes, we worry that if we’re not with our partner, they’ll forget about us – or worse, become unfaithful. If these are your feelings, however, your partner’s not the problem – your insecurity is. Being too needy in a relationship only leads to disaster. It creates an imbalance of power in the relationship, can cause emotional fatigue in both of you, and may make your partner tire of you and end the relationship. Your ability to be independent can only strengthen what you share with your partner, because they know that you trust them to stay true.
5. Isolation Can be Damaging.
It’s easy to get wrapped up in our new-found love lives, but what happens when that isolation starts to make an impact on our lives outside of it? What happens when we wake up one morning and realize that we haven’t called our best friend in a month, or our beloved family members haven’t received more than an email in weeks?
Sadly, one of the first things to happen as we pair off is that our friends (particularly the single ones) can be forgotten. They fall by the wayside in favor of spending every waking non-work moment with our new lovers. Inevitably, forgetting your friends will fail you. Humans are social beings and we need each other to commiserate and identify with in good times and bad. Sure, your mate can provide most things a friend can, but no one person can be all things to anyone.
6. In the Event of a Breakup…
Well, you know the statistics; lots of people end relationships for various reasons. If you’re on the receiving end of a relationship pink slip, you’ll survive much better and bounce back faster if you have held on to your independence while in a relationship. The alternative means that you’d have a much harder time moving on.
7. Your Independence is Your Most Valuable Asset.
We all know that a healthy mind and body go together with a healthy spirit but figuring out a way to attain all three can seem like a tough proposition. The good news is, every little bit helps – and addressing any of the three components contributes to the others, too. If you want to boost your self-confidence and motivation, start with the stuff you can control. Eat well and commit to some kind of fitness regimen. Not only will it make you feel vibrant and sexy, it will help you feel strong and capable, which encourages you to do things on your own when you might otherwise steer clear of solo ventures.
Independence is a Gift
Your independence is priceless and it’s yours to value, protect, and keep – no one else can do this for you. It would be unwise in any situation to devalue your own sense of identity or your sense of being a wholly independent person. And if you lose it, you’ll be the only one who can get it back.
Appreciating the differences between you, while celebrating the similarities, is what makes a wonderful joining of souls. We all have many lessons to learn from one another. Never think that you have all the answers, or that someone else does. There is a much-needed balance in all things. Nothing is as beautiful as the combined notes of a single song. No tune should be monotonous, and no life should be either. Embrace the blending and the separateness of your souls and be secure enough in your own beauty of heart to know that your beloved feels the same.
There’s nothing worse than romantic uncertainty, but you don’t have to navigate the ebbs and flows of love alone. A love psychic is always available to help and a psychic love reading is exactly what you need to get your relationship on the path to forever.
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