Casual sex can mean different things to different people and can be defined in many different ways. Generally, there are no strings attached and no expectations of exclusivity. This is sometimes known as Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM), which can be sex with someone that you know or a simple one-night stand. For our purposes, we are going to define it as consensual sex outside of a romantic relationship or marriage.
Sex is a powerful experience that can awaken emotional responses that we weren’t expecting. So, what do you do when what started as a casual fling begins to feel like something more? That answer is not as straightforward as most of us would like it to be.
I Got No Strings
As Chloe Carmichael, Ph.D. states, “Sex with no strings attached can be really fun, but it can also get really complicated. First and foremost, don’t beat yourself up for developing feelings: Women are biologically wired to feel attached to their sexual partners, so it’s not only common, it’s natural.” Thanks to the bonding hormone, oxytocin; it’s hard not to feel at least a little bit of attachment with your partner and the more often you see each other the stronger that bond is going to become.
This is why it is so important to make sure that you are both on the same page from the beginning, especially if it is a friends with benefits or sex with an ex type of situation. It is helpful for both sides to discuss what their intentions are from the beginning. Are you both able to separate physical closeness from emotional closeness? Are either of you open to it becoming more down the road? And if only one of you is open to that idea, what exactly is the plan? Are you planning on exclusivity or carte blanche? There are so many things to take into consideration.
When I Think About You
But what happens when you’ve promised each other that you could handle a no strings attached arrangement but now you are getting a case of the feels? Can the relationship continue with one side holding that bit of information back? Is it fair to either side to withhold it?
Honesty is important in all relationships, from the romantic to the mundane, but in these types of situations, it is especially important. Holding back the fact that you have developed feelings for your sex buddy could be detrimental to your emotional and mental health. Dr. Rachel O’Neill states, “If you’re the type of person who really values intimacy and views sex as something that happens after a relationship develops, then perhaps casual sex isn’t right for you.”
If you find yourself in the middle of having serious feelings for your partner you might want to take some time and step back. Try approaching them with phrases such as, “I thought you should know that I am starting to really like you, so I think I need to step back and slow things down a bit. I didn’t plan on having feelings like this when we started.” This way your feelings are known, and you open the door for them to state what their current feelings are in a non-confrontational, no-pressure way.
Let’s Get it On
If you are considering taking things to the next level, there are a few things to keep in mind.
- Do You Share any Mutual Interests? Pay attention to their words and actions. Do you talk throughout the day, or do they only ring you up in the middle of the night? Do you enjoy spending time together outside of sex and the bedroom? If so, then your partner might be open to a deeper level of commitment.
- Plan a Day Out: If you are trying to determine if your partner is “Relationship material” this is an excellent way to get the answer. Suggest going somewhere together. Keep it semi-casual but choose an activity that is date-like. Go to a party or an event as a couple, visit a museum, or cook a meal together and watch a movie. Move things out of the bedroom and into real life.
- Express Yourself: If you start to suspect that your partner is feeling the same way about you then go ahead and tell them how you feel. Keeping things low key is important at this step, as giving ultimatums will only backfire on you.
There’s No Such Thing as a “One Size Fits All” Relationship
Just remember, whether you find yourself enjoying a no-strings-attached approach to relationships or are joined at the hip, you need to be true to yourself and your needs. Don’t try to fit into anyone else’s idea of what is right. Relationships, sex, love, and everything in between mean different things to different people, and you need to figure out what works best for you and the one(s) you share them with. As long as you keep your communication open and honest, then that’s enough.
There’s nothing worse than romantic uncertainty, but you don’t have to navigate the ebbs and flows of love alone. A love psychic is always available to help and a psychic love reading is exactly what you need to get your relationship on the path to forever.
Find a love psychic or learn more about psychic love readings.
About California Psychics
California Psychics is the most trusted source of psychic readings. We have delivered over 6 million discreet and confidential psychic readings by phone since 1995. More than a prediction, we are your guide for life’s journey. Serenity, happiness, and success are just a phone call away. With over 400 psychics online to choose from, you’re sure to find the best psychics for you. Call one of our trusted and accurate psychics today! Confidential and secure, real psychics, accurate predictions, 100% guaranteed.