What Do Women’s Wants Reveal About Their True Needs?
Today, I’m kicking off a two-part series, in which I will cover the wants and needs of men and women, from the vantage point of how evolution and society have shaped our thinking. Women are motivated by a number of factors, which include affirmation, affection and emotional availability. Rooted within these wants are deeper needs that affect how women are viewed in society and their relationships. Allow me to pull back a few layers of the onion as we theorize about what it is that women really want. Keep in mind that these are not necessarily what women consciously want, but where their unconscious needs are driving them.
Women Want a Strong Man Who Treats Her Poorly
This theory may be tough to swallow, but hear me out before passing judgment. Think for a moment about the typical men that women swoon over. He is usually masculine, brooding, and unsympathetic. Think Edward Cullen of the Twilight series, who could be argued to possess all these traits, yet women adore him. Why? Researchers speculate that once upon a time, it was the bad boys who were more likely to survive the dangers of the world and come out alive. It would be quite beneficial for women to choose a man who could not only serve up the bacon, but manage to stay around long enough to see the kids leave the roost. This is the theory behind the strong man, but what about being treated poorly? It turns out, as many women have experienced, and studies can back up; masculine men are more likely to retreat, cheat, be abusive and divorce. A strong man is not a woman’s best choice for an easy, breezy relationship.
There’s a Catch!
The world is no longer about which caveman is stronger and how many boulders can be dropped on his head before a noticeable drop in intelligence is noted. Things like healthcare and organized society have enabled men to use their brain in place of brawn. Studies point out that the macho man is becoming a dying breed in some areas of the world, such as Sweden, Finland and Austria. What do these countries have that others don’t? Health. The women in these countries are considering men for their love of children, ability to empathize, and preference for scintillating conversations by the fireplace. Where machismo continues to be a desired trait is in poorer countries, where strong men continue to stand the best chance of survival. These include Mexico, Argentina, and Brazil.
“To attain the love you want, be prepared to be, or work to become, the type of person you want to attract!” – Yemaya ext. 5143
Women Prefer Co-Operation Over Competition
Evolutionarily, women have stood little to gain from competition. Yes, there are a lot of women out there to compete for the hand of a good man, but there is rarely a shortage of men risking their egos to be this man. Women are drawn to co-operative efforts, because those fare best within intimate settings. This is one theory why women have not enjoyed the same influence over society as men. They were simply not motivated to compete. However, this is changing.
Women Want Men of Quality
Most men will accept just about any woman for a short-term fling, giving partiality to those who are slightly less intelligent, according to studies. Women, on the other hand, will not loosen their expectations. This means that if a guy is out to find a girl who is just looking for a good time, he is still going to have to prove his pedigree before she’ll accept his company. Evolutionarily speaking, women have more at stake with short-term relationships. A man may sleep with two hundred women, producing several healthy offspring during one year. A woman who does the same, will only have one shot at doing this right, so she better make sure those two hundred guys are all of good stock.
Women Want the Approval of Other Women
Choice copying is validation from other women, that a man is a good catch. Numerous studies have depicted equally attractive photos of men who were either being ignored by women, or enjoying their undivided attention. Across the board, women prefer men who appear to be desired by other women. This may sound like a reasonable shortcut to doing the work on their own. However, there is one problem. The majority of highly desired men are already married!
Now it’s your turn. I invite you to give us your own theories about what women really want.
“How do you decide who is the right man? You will know that you have the right man because you will feel balanced, stable, loved and the challenges that come with the man won’t drive you away.” – Leo ext. 5265
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