Problems in Modern Dating
Modern dating trends sound a lot like trendy dance moves from the 1960’s. Seriously, the last couple of years have adopted such classics as the submarine, Casper, breadcrumb, orbit, bench, zombie, peacock, gaslight, and cookie jar among others. You may know a few of these, but you likely don’t know them all, but remaining unaware of them may lead to you becoming a victim.
Honestly, we call these modern dating trends, but the straightforward definition should read “lousy dating practices”. That may sound harsh, but we are living in an age where you can meet someone online, have virtual sex, breakup, all while brushing your teeth – and then rebound with someone else a few minutes later while gargling with mouthwash. Don’t get me wrong. Love is still in the air. You’ve just got to know what you want and how much you’re going to put up with to find it. Here are the most popular trends that are much more pleasant to talk about than to deal with.
Thanks to social media, it is easier than ever to create a character with a wonderful life, excellent taste in food, and the ability to wake up in the morning in a bikini and freshly moussed hair. Some people just prefer you to know their peacock rather than their true selves.
This is a big topic in society, but also a big problem in your dating pool. Technology makes it easy to find people through online dating. Today’s fisher rarely even looks at what they’ve pulled in, and it becomes an exercise in numbers rather than an effort to get to know anyone.
These daters appear in your life and then disappear without a trace. Where do they go? They are most likely lost at sea with an overflowing basket of fish and a proud grin to show for it.
Never claim you’ve been ‘ghosted’ until several months have passed since you last saw the apparition. Why? Because sometimes ghosts resurface, like a submarine. But you’ll wish you were ghosted if you get passed up by one of these vessels more than once.
Casper was a friendly ghost, and this trend upholds his name by disappearing from your life with a (sort of) goodbye. You may think this sounds like an old-fashioned breakup, but here’s the difference. During a Casper, you will no clue that the relationship is nearing an end. There are no fights, no “talks”, no working it out, or second chances. Everything is wonderful one day, and the next, they’ve booked a voyage to the Bermuda Triangle.
There is a very fine line between a submarine and a zombie – as odd as that may sound. A submarine pops in and out of your life without announcement, but a zombie will take it one step further and refuse to accept that anything ghostly (or ghastly) has happened. “What? We were just hanging out like 9 months ago – of course I still care about you.”
The difference between a fisher and a baker is that instead of throwing the small fish back, bakers keep what they don’t eat in a cookie jar. They don’t want you to get all stale and dried out, and so they keep you content in a warm, dry (and somewhat lonely) place. But when a baker continues to bake fresh goods, you’ll eventually be forgotten and end up at the bottom.
There is only so long anyone will wait in a jar, so a baker must send roses, promises, and compliments to keep you close enough for a booty call, but not so close that it’s okay to invite yourself over unannounced.
A cold, lonely bench is probably the worst place to wait for anyone. Quite often you will put yourself in this spot because you don’t want to admit that the other person will never be into you enough to put you in the game.
Not everyone can manage a full disappearing and reappearing act. Some people have to orbit around the outskirts in order to maintain your interest. This could be an entirely virtual crush that is clever and complimentary, but never quite gets to the point of meeting in person.
This is an old trend with a new name (actually most of these are). Gaslighting refers to a partner who manipulates you in order to take control of the relationship. They may make you feel unwanted, ugly, undeserving, and the bad guy/girl in everything that happens. And when you feel this bad, you do just about anything to make up for it. And now, the fire’s been lit and you’re right where they want you.
Being in love is a life experience that everyone deserves. Whether you’re looking for your soulmate or wondering how to keep the romantic fires burning in your relationship, a love psychic can help. They want to see you happy and a psychic love reading is all you need to find or keep the love that is meant for you.
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