How can a person ever become vulnerable enough to trust a new love interest after a mind blowing betrayal? How can you know if a new love will be honest and sincere and not shatter your healing heart, yet again? Our psychics gave us their intuitive insight on how to leave behind old trust issues and learn to love with your eyes wide open… the next time around.
Take time to heal before you put yourself back on the dating market, our psychics strongly recommend. People who are broken hearted are usually drowning in trust issues, which is no way to begin a healthy new relationship. “A lack of trust is a huge deal breaker,” Amanda ext. 9538 says. “It ultimately stunts the potential growth of a new couple.”
Trust issues reveal themselves in new relationships in many ways. First there is misplaced jealousy. “If you had an unfaithful partner and went through the hell of doubting them constantly, it could be very easy to pile your old negative feelings onto a new love interest. One missed call, or a tiny slip in communication, could send up false red flags,” Joey ext. 9406 explains.
Without healing, those who have been deceived are controlling. They automatically don’t believe anyone new in their life. “To avoid being deceived again, they may demand constant contact or knowledge of their new date’s whereabouts and have objections about their activities with friends and family,” Maryanne ext. 9146describes.
The walking wounded move into a new love’s life way too quickly, with behavior destined to squelch the possibility of a healthy relationship, Jonathan ext. 9601 points out. Healthy, well adjusted people don’t put up with this kind of neediness.
So how do you heal? Callers often ask, how long does it take to trust again? Take an inventory of the broken relationship, our psychics suggest. “What you hopefully learned from your last breakup are warning signals, red flags, the things you missed or avoided seeing about the person you trusted and where you may have idealized them,” says Lucrecia ext. 9326.
When you feel like you have regained the confidence to believe your own eyes and ears again when it comes to love – that you have grown from your experiences and have faith that there are lovable people out there who are reliable, loyal and honest – you can probably jump into the dating pool quite safely, say Elena ext. 9938 and Sherri ext. 9556. Do keep in mind that it takes time and plenty of good communication to get to know and believe in someone new.
If you find yourself rushing into relationships, or expecting too much of someone you barely know, you may need to take a step back and take another look at your hurtful past. Be aware of the state of your heart as you begin dating again. Some people show their pain by pouring their heart out too early in a relationship, trusting a stranger with their woes and warning them of their high expectations. Others are anxious for things to go well, or are so entirely focused on getting married that they miss out on the fun of getting to know someone new. “I have a client like that who is actually blaming the new guy, subconsciously of course, for the behaviors that drove her away from her ex. She is trying to create an ending, before there is even a beginning or a middle!” Joey reports.
“Love your new partner for exactly who and what they are. Trust can only be earned, which is another reason not to move too quickly in a new relationship. Spending time and communicating with someone allows trust to build as a couple moves forward,” Jonathan concludes. And, if you find that they’re not trustworthy, then they’re just not for you!
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