You’re in love! Finally! All you want to do is spend every waking moment with the man of your dreams…so why does your best friend keep calling to bug you?
The excitement of falling in love can blind you to how much you need your non-romantic relationships. You’re so happy when you’re with your new partner, you assume everyone else wants to be with him all the time too. But that’s just not the case — no matter how great he is. Here are our tips for juggling new love with old friends — and making sure no one ends up the “third wheel.”
You love your best friend and your new boyfriend, so they’re bound to love each other, right? Not so fast.
Just like any other two people on earth, your boyfriend and your best friend may hit it off — or they might rub each other the wrong way. Because they care about you, they’ll probably make an effort to get along, but don’t expect too much too soon.
Be mindful of the fact that they both may feel threatened by each other’s presence in your life. Instead of setting up a situation where one of them will feel like a “third wheel,” go out with a group of friends so they can interact in a more relaxed setting. Invite the gang over to watch a game on TV or arrange a double date.
Don’t pressure them to be fast friends. The point is to let them get to know each other in a natural way, rather than acting like a mother on a playground forcing two strangers to be buddies.
Incorporating your boyfriend into best friend time or vice versa can be hurtful to both relationships. While it’s important to create opportunities for your two favorite people to get to know each other, you can’t turn every event into a three-legged race. Just as you and your partner need alone time, your best friend needs time with just you.
If you usually go to Sunday brunch with her, she probably won’t be too thrilled if you arrive with the new man in tow. Creating a standing date with a close friend is a great way to ensure that the business of falling in love doesn’t interfere with your friendship. It doesn’t matter if you have dinner together every Tuesday night or go to yoga together every Saturday morning, the point is to set time aside regularly for your friendship.
By honoring time with your friends, you show them how much you value having them in your life.
It’s easy to lose track of yourself when you’re busy juggling friendship with romance. But stretching yourself too thin isn’t the answer either. Not only does it hurt you, it can hurt the very people you are worrying about. By taking care of yourself, you’re more able to be able to give and receive friendship and love.
Be sure to dedicate a few minutes each day to alone time. Meditate, write in a journal, go for a run or take a bubble bath. Spend some time focusing on the most important person in your life: yourself.
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