Our solar plexus is the center of our will and personal power, which begins to develop in the womb and asserts itself in the very early stages of childhood as we learn to walk, talk and make associations with our experiences and environment. Eventually, our will and personal power becomes altered through what Don Miguel Ruiz calls “human domestication” by our parents and society, leaving us feeling threatened and dominated. As we grow older, we begin to associate certain individuals with the figures in our lives that dominated us in the first place, and when around these individuals, we feel powerless and have difficulty asserting ourselves and setting appropriate boundaries. We have unconsciously given away our power and feel victimized, which usually makes us silently seethe with unexpressed anger and resentment.
When I first experienced reclaiming my power, it was subtle, yet highly powerful. I was sitting in Reiki meditation when thoughts and images of people from my past began to arise: people toward whom I had held great resentment for whatever injustices I thought they had committed.
I realized that I had felt inferior, insecure, dominated and powerless in the presence of these particular individuals. What struck me the most, however, was feeling powerless. I felt fragmented, and perceived an emptiness in my solar plexus.
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks: I had freely given my power to these people! Though the reasons varied from person to person, ultimately it derived from my feelings of inferiority and from not trusting myself or having confidence within myself. It was far easier for me to give my power to another person, healthy or unhealthy, who would “guide” me in my choices and decisions, which absolved me of any real responsibility for my own life and its direction. It was also in line with the unconscious belief that I was a victim. I could play out the programmed dramas I had inherited from my family of origin. But that’s another article.
I first did this in a safe and quiet environment, under the guidance of silent meditation. Reiki is extremely powerful in this process, but not necessary. Next, when the images and emotions began to arise, I was gentle with myself, breathed normally and allowed them to arise. If it doesn’t happen for you right away or in the way you think it should, notice the impatience within yourself, without judging it, and realize that everything blossoms in its own way and in its own time. This, as with anything, takes patience.
I then visualized each person, one by one, holding a yellow ball that I not only imagined, but that I felt contained my power. I reached out and took my yellow power ball from each individual and placed it back into my solar plexus.
What happened next? I felt exhilarated! I felt like parts of me were filled that I never knew were missing. The greatest part of this experience was taking responsibility for myself, realizing that I am not a victim unless I choose to play the role, and most importantly, that no one has the ability to take away my power unless I freely give it to them.