Does Social Media Make it Harder to Get Over Your Ex?

You Can’t Get Over Your Ex if You Stalk Them on Social Media!

A new study suggests that almost 90 percent of Facebook users check up on their exes through information that is shared on the network. This means that people are using social media to hang on to whatever they can of their last relationship, almost as if they were addicted to it. This is because exes are addictions, and the chemistry is quite simple to understand. When you are in love (or infatuation), those feeling open up the gates of oxytocin in your brain, which feel really good. But when that love is taken away, your brain begins to exhibit withdrawal symptoms, which can include depression, head/body aches, and more.

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Three Types of Broken Hearts

Does social media really make it more difficult to get over your ex? Well, it depends on the type of person you are. While some studies do in fact suggest that Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram make it more difficult, the fact remains that those who obsess over their exes would likely be obsessing anyway, and instead of social media stalking, they could do the old-fashioned drive-by and late night hang up.

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According to Steve Whittaker of the University of California, Santa Cruz, social media has three types of broken hearts:

1. The Deleters: They delete every trace and connection to their ex as soon as the breakup happens.

2. The Keepers: They keep every connection they have with their ex, including photos of them together.

3. The Selective Deleters: They go throw everything and selectively keep or delete certain things based on certain criteria.

The research suggests that the keepers often feel sad because keeping everything continues to remind them of their ex. The deleters feel remorse for tossing away all their memories and the selective deleters feel a combination of sadness and remorse.

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 Self-Control

It’s all about self-control. It may seem like a good idea to delete months of your life from the Internet, but that’s not an easy solution. The truth is that the temptation to creep into your ex’s life will always be there, and social media makes it easy. That’s because it creates lasting connections that are not easy to erase. A lot of work goes into deleting digital photos or entire profiles. Once something is on the Internet, it’s pretty much there forever. There are some apps that can do the work for you (KillSwitch, Eternal Sunshine, Ex Lover, DrunkDial, etc.). However, using these programs could also lead to regret.

Even as many as 60% of married people admit to obsessing over an ex from time to time. They may focus on the good parts (and forget about the bad parts) of the relationship, especially when there is stress in their marriage. This is why reconnecting with an ex can be detrimental to a marriage.

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Perhaps the best way to get over your ex is to ignore social media for a while. Spend some time in the real world. Go take a walk, sign up for a class, or get back into an old hobby you’ve been neglecting when you get the urge to go online and see what they’ve been up to. Let time pass and get over the worst part of the pain. Then make rational decisions about what needs to go and what needs to stay.

Your ex was not right for you and that’s why you’re not together. Stalking them on social media isn’t going to help you get over them. It also won’t help you find new love and move on. Give yourself permission to forget them, move on and make new memories with someone better.

6 thoughts on “Does Social Media Make it Harder to Get Over Your Ex?

  1. Shantel Brown

    I was with my ex for 7yrs we been broke up a year now but we never lost contact…we been dealing with each other tha whole time he even got a girlfriend… we been dealing tha whole time he been with her he tells me he still love me and he dont love her but he still with her???? I need some advice on this please? ??

    Reply
  2. Seren ext. 5445Psychic Seren, Ext 5445

    “Your ex was not right for you and that’s why you’re not together. Stalking them on social media isn’t going to help you get over them. It also won’t help you find new love and move on. Give yourself permission to forget them, move on and make new memories with someone better.”

    Bravo, Eric!! I couldn’t have said it better myself.

    Reply
  3. Marc from the UK

    It takes discipline and control to get over an ex and move forward. resist temptation, and pat yourself on the back for every day that passes. Thank the universe for all the positives that you brought each other and see that it was all part of moving forward and growth. I too can move forward and burn bridges, it is a strength use it 🙂

    Reply
  4. blackie

    I am a forget it type because I would not be where I am if they would have tied as I did and gave as much. Now it is just time to restart over again crying over a house and SUV I paid for is not going to clear my vision or help one bit.

    Reply
  5. Gina Rose ext.9500Psychic Gina Rose ext.9500

    Great article, Eric !!!!

    I’m a total deleter and have no problem burning my bridges behind me !!!

    Having died and crossed over twice, I’ve learned that life, this incarnation, is way TOO short to obssess over somebody who did not love me or appreciate me.

    Life is meant to be lived, each day, to be experienced to the fullest.

    It’s a big, wide world out there, filled with many choices and opportunities to find love with the RIGHT partner.

    Reply

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