Declare Your Independence!
When a relationship falls apart, you’re often left feeling hurt and lost, and these feelings make it hard for you to believe that you can stand on your own. But you have no choice. You have to find a way to rebuild your life, regain your independence, and learn to depend on yourself. That can be really hard to do, especially if you’ve spent years being emotionally and physically dependent on a partner. But it’s not impossible. Here’s how to regain your independence after a breakup.
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Start with a List
Figure out what you need to do now that the relationship is over. Do you need to find a new place to live? Do you need to get a car, credit cards, or establish your own bank accounts? Do you need to get a job? If money is tight, do you have friends or family who will put you up until you get back on your feet? Having a list of goals gets you organized and certainly leads you towards independence. Of course, you don’t have to accomplish everything all at once. Instead, choose a few tasks, or maybe just one, and start taking the necessary steps to make it happen. And don’t be afraid to reach out for help.
Know that you will have your good days and your bad days. Some tasks will be easier to accomplish than others, especially if you’ve always counted on your ex to perform them. That’s why it’s important to be flexible. And depending on how involved your ex continues to be in your life post-breakup (like if you have kids together), their level of maturity can make a huge difference during your transition towards independence. Even if they broke up with you, they are also going through a transition of their own, so don’t be surprised if either of your lives isn’t running smoothly.
Hating your ex for the rest of your life isn’t going to make your transition toward independence any easier, so forgive them. Forgiving them doesn’t mean what they did is okay; you’re just releasing the negative feelings you have for them. Another benefit to forgiveness? If you forgive your ex, you won’t take that baggage into your next relationship. You won’t punish any new partners for what your ex did. And forgive yourself too. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you made in the relationship and forgive yourself when you stumble on your road to independence.
Surround Yourself with Positive People
Now is not the time to have lunch with your negative friend who hates life and thinks love is dead. Now is not the time to hang out with your “I told you so” friends. Instead, reach out to your positive posse. Who uplifts you? Who wants to cheer you on? Those people are the people you need to be with right now.
Focus on What’s Great About Being Single
Being single at any age can be great! You get the whole bed to yourself. You get to do whatever you want and not have to take another person’s plans or restrictions into consideration. It’s also fun to pursue hobbies and interests at your leisure. Have you been missing an old hobby you gave up due to the demands of your relationship? Now you can reclaim it as part of your healing and development of your independence. You don’t have to make someone else’s drama your own and you don’t have to fight about inane things. You get to spend your money the way you want to, including indulgences. Interested in having no-strings-attached sex with new and different partners? You certainly can! You can go anywhere you want and do as you please and you don’t have to think about anyone else but yourself. Choosing to look at your post-breakup life as an exciting time can make the pain and uncertainty more bearable.
Your New Mantra
If you’re having moments of self-doubt as you work on your independence, repeat this mantra to yourself: “The end of a relationship is not the end of the world. I will bounce back because I will get my life on track. I will work towards my independence and feel stronger as the weeks or months pass. My heart will mend, and I will love someone new, eventually. I will be better than I was before.” You are going to be so happy with the independent person you become. You just need to do a little work every day to make it happen. Need help? The love psychic of your choice is waiting to help you!
Want to build a better future? A life path reading with one of our talented life path psychics can tell you where you’re headed. And if you don’t like where you’re headed, your life path psychic can steer you down a better path.
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