Breakups are often ugly, typically not amicable and always wounding. Whether it’s a breakup from a ten-year relationship with your high school sweetheart or from a six-month relationship gone awry, a breakup can cripple your sense of purpose.
A breakup can be a traumatic experience – but don’t despair. There are some tips that will help you recover quicker and reclaim your independence post-breakup!
Renovate your life
One of the keys to recovering effectively from a breakup is replacing the time you’d normally spend with your ex-mate doing something conducive to your happiness and fulfillment. The objective here is to regain a sense of purpose in something or someone new. The last thing you need is the time to think and rethink your relationship and what went wrong. Focus on yourself, your life, your needs, your goals and your friends and family.
Reconnect and reunite
Reconnecting and reuniting with the people you fell out of touch with, either unintentionally or intentionally, is vital to a full healing from a breakup. Relationships with family and friends are often easy to take for granted and therefore they may be the first people you fall out of touch with during a relationship, but those are the very people you need right now. (And never let that happen again! These are the lasting relationships in your life – work on them!)
Now that you’re single, it may be a prime time to remember what truly makes you tick. Rediscover your passions and revive your interest post-breakup. Take that trip. Enroll in that class. Research that new career. You have no one to impress and fulfill but yourself, with or without a mate. You have to be content with yourself.
Resist the rebound
Being in love is somewhat of an addiction, and replacing that form of addiction with a different, yet similar fuel is very typical of jilted lovers. Don’t be susceptible to this trap. Falling in love again immediately after your breakup is not the cure to recovery. An attempt to replacing the love isn’t going to cure the effects of lost love, and it’s not fair to the person you’re rebounding with.
Refuse yo-yo love
When it’s over, let it be over. Don’t fall into the abyss of yo-yo love. Go with your gut instinct. You’ll know whether or not this is one of those breakups that can be rejuvenated and mended. You’ll know if the love for each other is unaffected and words and actions exchanged can be overlooked. But if this isn’t the case, then don’t let yourself be a victim of yo-yo love. If s/he wants to be friends, say no (at least for now). If s/he wants to stay in touch say no. S/he wants to give it one more chance (and by one more we really mean a sixteenth try!), don’t bite. Don’t be a victim. Because in the end, if you’re hurt yet again, you and only you have cheated yourself from being halfway on the road to recovery. Instead, you’ve set yourself back from any progress that could have truly been made.
The road to recovery seems unbearably hard when the wounds are deep and still fresh, but you’re well on your way. If you follow our tips, you’ll be over your breakup in no time!
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