Decode the B.S. Behind the Breakup!
When relationship expert John Gray coined the phrase, “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus,” he was really onto something. Not only are we from different planets, but we also speak different languages. No, we’re not incompatible, but sometimes we could use a little help understanding each other. So here’s a handy little guide that will make decoding his “nice guy” breakup lines a cinch. It won’t make the breakup hurt less—it will still sting—but it will make it easier for you to understand and move on.
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I Meant What I Said?
Guys usually say exactly what they mean, but when it comes to delivering breakup lines, they can be a little cryptic. They’re vague for several reasons. Maybe they don’t want to hurt your feelings. maybe they don’t want to get yelled at. Maybe the don’t want to be embarrassed in public. Maybe they just can’t put how they’re feeling into words.
“It’s Not You. It’s Me.”
Translation: “It’s definitely you and I’m not interested in dating you anymore.”
There are a lot of reasons why he no longer wants to date you. There could be someone else or maybe he’s realized you’re not compatible. If a nice guy says this to you, it means he would rather place the blame on himself than hurt your feelings. Also, there’s no possible way you can fix what’s wrong with the relationship because you aren’t the problem … he is.
Know that no matter what he says, he doesn’t want to be romantically involved with you. That’s okay. Take whatever lessons you can glean from your time together and move forward.
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“Let’s Just be Friends.”
Translation: 1. “I’m not attracted to you.” 2. “Let’s be friends with benefits.” 3. “I’m hoping you really won’t want to be my friend after this.”
Since this excuse has multiple meanings, it’s hard to know the truth. If he’s really a nice guy, he may want to be friends with you. Or, he’s hoping going from a romantic relationship to a friend relationship won’t appeal to you and you’ll just walk away. But is he’s not so nice, he could be trying to keep you around for hookups.
If you weren’t thrilled with him as a boyfriend, what makes you think he would be a good and caring friend to you? Plus, when a new person comes into his life it’s going to make you jealous. Your best bet is to say no to the friendship.
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“Let’s Take a Break.”
Translation: 1. “I’m just postponing the inevitable.” 2. “I need time to see if there is someone better out there.”
Even nice guys know that romantic relationships rarely survive a break. The truth is he’s probably planning to break up with you over the phone when you call and pester him a few days or weeks later. Then the breakup becomes your fault because you were hounding him instead of giving him his space. Pretty clever, huh?
This excuse could also mean that he wants to see if there is anyone out there better for him. He may date a little and if he meets someone better, that might inspire him to go forward and break up with you. However, if he can’t meet anyone, he may come crawling back and declare that he no longer needs his space.
If you don’t want to play this game with him, declare the break a breakup and move on.
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“I’m Not Ready to be in a Relationship.”
Translation: “I don’t want to be in a relationship with you.”
This is also about putting the blame on himself, which is a “nice guy” thing to do. You should abandon any hope that he’ll come around one day if you’re persistent and stick around as a friend. If you’re ready for a relationship, you deserve to be with someone who is also ready for a relationship.
When it comes to relationships, sometimes honesty is the best policy. But if a nice guy is breaking up with you, he may be dishonest to spare your feelings or spare himself the drama an honest breakup would include. Now that you know what his breakup lines really mean, go out and meet someone so great you’ll never have to worry about hearing these lines again!