Does love at first sight really exist? Is it lust at first sight, or is it possible to recognize one’s “other half,” one’s perfect match, and soulmate instantaneously?
I have asked this question my entire life. I was always the one who was stuck in a dream world to a degree. One leg was firmly rooted in reality, while the other one was happily stuck in my fantasy world.
I always secretly longed for “the movie.” I longed for meeting “the one” randomly and I imagined how he would look at me and know right then and there that I am the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with, the one he wants to marry and have kids with, and that he would see me truly for all that I am.
It was not after I went on OKCupid that I learned the one lesson that had kept me from finding happiness. After going on 10 dates in 12 days and finding not a single guy to connect with and after really and truly paying attention to my gut, instead of my head, I was ready to drop my attachment to marriage and relationship once and for all.
I had found all these guys pleasant and good looking, but at the same time something was always missing. My gut would come in and say that something wasn’t right and for the first time in my life I listened. I no longer felt a need to justify in my head why this wouldn’t work I created a list of my perfect man. I took a look at it and instead of wondering if I had asked for too much, I smiled and said out loud “HELL NO!”
I looked up to the sky and I thanked the universe for all the blessings given to me, all the gifts bestowed on me and I tucked my list back into my wallet saying out loud “This is what I want. Here is who I am. I will never ever settle again, not for anyone, not for any reason. I will never, ever “make a relationship happen” and fight for another person’s approval, love, time, or attention.”
Three days later I met Andrew. Andrew had been “stalking” me on OKCupid. I saw his profile kept popping up on my “Stalkers” page. I read his profile and thought “WOW!” He was not just incredibly smart and witty, but he knew how to spell, punctuate and use proper grammar. His profile was detailed — he knew exactly what he wanted and wasn’t going to settle for less. He was incredibly good looking, tall, black hair, blue eyes and stylish (dressed all in black like me). I was a bit intimidated.
We started talking via IM for hours. We moved the conversation to the phone and would talk for hours. And we jokingly proclaimed on the second day that we would get married. Andrew seemed too good to be true to me. He was EVERYTHING I had ever wanted and imagined. When we met, it was like in the stories I had made up in my mind since I was a kid. He looked at me, he kissed me and he knew. There was no doubt in him and there was no doubt in me. All the stupid movie cliches applied, including the fireworks and violins playing in one’s head.
NEVER give up or settle for mediocre or “OK!” Bliss could come and sweep you off your feet, as long as you hold steadfast to your beliefs, to who you really are and what is most important to you in life. “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn, is just to love and to be loved in return!”
Andrew and I got married on May 30, 2009. We intend to prove all the doubting Thomases wrong and show them that when you meet your soul-mate, you know and do not require years to figure it out.