When to Hold On and When to Let Go
When a relationship moves from Bliss Street to a dead end street, is it time to move on? Could there be a U-turn up ahead, or is this an impossible one-way street leading to nowhere?
It’s true, we’ve all done it—dated the guy who was all wrong for us. Usually, once bitten is enough, but there’s always a few of us who like the constant challenge and always choose guys who we think are “keep-him” material, while everyone else is saying “dump him.” Could everyone be so wrong, or are you just fooling yourself? If you’re feeling angst and confusion, if you’re not sure if you should keep him or dump him, then here are seven questions you can ask yourself, seven ways that you can know for sure:
1. You’re crazy about him but your friends/family don’t like him; there’s always a hint of tension when you’re all together. Why can’t everyone just be happy for you? You are happy, aren’t you?
“Passions can be willful and the desire to be right can often dominate our thoughts, eclipsing the best intentions.” – Faith ext. 9608
2. He moves around your place like he lives there, but you’ve never been to his place. He’ll say, “It’s messy, it’s a guy hangout,” or “it’s too far away.” You’re probably more comfortable at your place anyway.
3. Even though you’ve introduced him to your friends and family, you’ve never met his. You may feel like you know them because he talks about them all the time, but the truth is, you wouldn’t know them if you ran into them head on.
4. He picks fights with you out of nowhere, and then leaves. But the next day you’re together, and it’s Camelot all over again. An “I’m sorry,” a kiss, and all’s forgotten about how crappy he made you feel just yesterday.
“No abuse… no matter what the excuse.” – Shyla ext. 5431
5. He puts his own interests first, even if it means disappointing you or going back on his word. But, you understand, don’t you?
6. Your co-workers tell you that you’ve changed, and not in a good way. You haven’t changed a bit; there must be something wrong with them. You dismiss it and ignore your own intuition (and the four-alarm light show going off in your head).
7. He’s not always available on his cell, sometimes you get voice mail and no call back, but he always has to know where you’ve been, who you’ve been with, and what you did.
Maybe your signs are slightly different, but you get the picture. You’re dating a guy who doesn’t respect you, who doesn’t put you first, and you keep making excuses for him, and sometimes you even take the blame. Your happiness is compromised more and more, and really, don’t you deserve better? Don’t risk losing your most treasured relationships for the sake of this one. It’s not supposed to be this hard; really, it’s not.
Are you nervous or relaxed? Do you walk on eggshells and dance around things just to avoid a fight? Are you listening to your own intuition, and fulfilling your own relationship needs? If you’re asking yourself, should I keep him or dump him, chances are you’ve already got your answer.
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