Wise Advice From a Baby Boomer
We need to honor every bit of wisdom contained in our aging boomer bodies. Every wrinkle has history. Boomers carry within our psyches, the wisdom of the ages, written about since forever. But, alas, how often do the generations separate themselves from each other…
For all of our aches and pains, we carry in our hearts, exceptional compassion and unconditional love we never thought possible. We empathize with the struggles of the younger generations; if only we could fast forward their experiences to that peaceful place of today…
When I was 13 years old, I fell in love. How did I know it was love? I had “that feeling, that thing.” When I looked at George, I felt faint. Oh yeah, “that feeling.” Today it’s called being “over the moon.” We used to have make-out parties in Anita’s wreck room where the romantic songs of Jackie Gleason led us into passionate kissing as we danced, crushing into each other. I had never been this physically close to another human being. The hugs, the kisses fueled this feeling rising up within my entire body. Once, I actually fainted. But we never went “all the way.” Not then. The thought of “going all the way” was terrifying.
We spoke on the phone every night, and wrote letters to each other every day. The relationship ended abruptly one day when his mother found one of my letters in his drawer. “George is only 15; who is this girl telling him she can’t live without him?” I knew my life was over. HELP! Mom insisted I would be in love again before I knew it. I screamed, “NO! NEVER!” And there was never another love quite like George, but there sure were others. Years later, George and I met at a wedding, each of us with our respective spouses. We spoke, our hands touched, our eyes locked, and we lingered, not speaking, just holding the moment. Memories flooded my heart. That “thing” was still there. Today, he is my Facebook friend with pictures of him with his grandkids posted on his page. I had every feature of his face memorized, and when I look at his lips, his eyes, well it’s still there.
Beyond the hormonal rush, did George what was actually there? Not much! All we had was chemistry. And this is what we call love.
My born-again wisdom tells me that “thing” is absolutely necessary to have a relationship. As it turned out, George was actually a scoundrel of sorts. While married, he was dating a friend of mine and apparently had a myriad of other dames that he wooed. He made an incredible amount of money on Wall Street, but who cares?
Nature plays powerful games in an attempt to perpetuate the species. Sounds cold, huh? Well, it is. Nature is formidable. The urge to merge is the strongest there is in all species. That urge will prompt a guy to tell a woman everything she wants to hear, about how she is everything he is looking for, how he is now ready to settle down,…and who comes sauntering into his life? She falls for it, and gives herself to him. He stops calling. Oy! How to soothe the aching abandoned heart? She wants so desparately to believe him. But, alas, this is where we momma bears step in. We have learned that it’s wise to cultivate a relationship for three months sans sex. That sounds hard, but it can be done; it was done back in the day. The best way to have a guy pursue you is to consistently say NO!
It takes about three months to get acquainted. During that time, the friendship is building. And, after that time, the “C” word (commitment) is nudging us.
So, here’s the deal, love is not just that feeling. It’s that feeling plus a bonding, a caring, a sharing and supporting one another. Tell nature you aren’t fooled by her devious tricks. And as you walk hand in hand down lover’s lane, you can feel comfortable and truly happy about what nature has brought into your lives.