The most important difference between sex and spiritual sex is intention. Enlightened intercourse is still physically pleasurable but it’s so much more – you get to connect with your partner on an emotional and energetic level. You get to simultaneously get in touch with your “inner self” and your higher power.
With spiritual sex remember that your desire is to merge with your partner in all ways, to become one through your lovemaking, whether you’re cuddling in tender, soft, heartwarming poses or writhing wildly in bliss.
See simple ways to merge the spiritual with the sexual below:
Breathe each other in
Eyes and breath are two simple, yet extremely powerful, ways to heighten your spiritual connection. At peaks of sexual arousal, open your eyes and gaze deeply at each other. As you do this, observe the thoughts and feelings that come up. You can either share these in the moment or set them aside for later.
Match your breathing rhythms, too. Either breathe in harmony, both exhaling and inhaling at the same time, or breathe in a circular rhythm, one partner inhaling as the other exhales. You’ll be amazed at how the energy will flow between you.
The following exercises will open up your chakras (energy wheels) and result in enhanced loving energies, says Dr. Ava Cadell, Founder and President of Loveology University®:
Sexual chakra: The sacral chakra, which is located in the sexual organs, is orange and its energy source is connected to our reproductive capacity and sexual desire. Sit opposite your lover on the floor with legs crossed at the ankles, lean in, hold hands and look at each other. Take turns speaking and listening. What makes you feel safe, grounded and confident? Ask your partner what makes them feel creative, sexually open and uninhibited?
Chakra hug: Get into “Yab Yum” position (face to face – one lover in the other’s lap) and press as many of your chakras into each other as you can. Close your eyes and listen to each other’s breath for two minutes. Then discuss how this experience made you feel.
Intuition chakra: Lean in, touch noses, join brows (third eye chakra) and look into each other’s eyes until they appear to merge. Share any intuitive thought that comes up in the moment with your lover: “I love you and my intuition tells me that …. (finish the sentence)”.
Chakra caress: Ask your lover to lie down – kneel beside them. Gently caress each one of your lover’s chakras with your fingertips and express your adoration for each one.
A kiss can be one of the most erotic exchanges between lovers. A kiss is often the first intimate physical contact with a new lover and many believe they can tell a lot about a person’s lovemaking skills by the way they kiss. Some people can reach orgasm through kissing alone. Making kissing a daily ritual keeps the juices flowing. There are many different kinds of kisses: slow, quick, deep, wet, hard, soft and breathy. Kiss your lover at least twice a day and experiment with some of the more unusual Tantric variety.
Eye brow kissing: Face your lover in a direct line, moisten each other’s eyebrows and then lean into each other with brows touching. Feel the energy flow from one to the other uniting the two of you into a higher level of consciousness.
Synchronized kissing: Embrace in your favorite lovemaking position. Keep your lips slightly open and touching as you both inhale together gently and exhale together, sharing and synchronizing the same breath.
Spiritual sex generally lasts a while so give yourself at least an hour or two to build your connection and your sexual charge. Let go of the goal to reach orgasm and focus instead on being fully present to every touch, every sigh, every caress. The key is to find what is genuine and works for you, says Cory Silverberg, a certified sex educator. You can’t take a cookie cutter approach to spiritual sex.
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