Ditch the Zero and Get With a Hero
I have done more readings than I can count with women, and sometimes even men, who hang on to relationships, or what they perceive to be relationships, that are going nowhere. When I try and tell them this (because their guides are shining a big ol’ light on it), some get angry and hang up on me. It’s sad because they are blocking the one thing they so desperately want. When you hang onto relationships that are going nowhere, for the sake of being in a relationship, you are passing on a healthy, loving, and fulfilling future relationship. I am not saying every relationship I read is this way, but a lot of them are. I really enjoy all of my clients and I know the truth is difficult to receive sometimes, but, at the end of the day, it’s all you have. If you approach your relationship with a healthy reality check, you will be able to get what you want out of it. Life is definitely too short to waste a moment on relationships that are not giving you what you want.
Of course I always hear, “But I love him!” What I hear when they say that is, “I don’t love myself enough to have someone treat me right, and this is all I deserve.” That is what you are really saying because when you love yourself enough, you won’t be waiting by the phone for him to call. Your life won’t stand still until he decides if he wants to see you. You do teach people how to treat you, so if you are acting like a doormat, guess what? You will be treated like one!
In an attempt to inject a little of the highest vibration, I will try to keep this article funny, so bear with me. Here are a few examples of when it’s time to dump the chump:
1. If you met him on the Internet and you find out he lives in Australia and is married, he won’t really leave his wife for you! Dump the chump!
2. If you’re hiding in the bushes, stalking the guy you “love,” and you see him come home with a date, it’s definitely time to dump the chump!
3. If he says he’s going to call and doesn’t call for days…weeks…or months, it’s time to dump the chump!
4. Talk is cheap. If he says he loves you and that you mean the world to him, he needs to SHOW it. He needs to be present in your life. If not, dump the chump!
5. If he keeps saying he’s going to leave his wife, and it’s been over a year and he’s still with her, dump the chump!
6. If his status on Facebook still reads “It’s complicated,” dump the chump.
7. If you meet someone in a chat room and they keep making excuses not to meet you, oh yeah, dump the chump!
8. Here’s one for the guys. If you give your married girlfriend and ultimatum and tell her to leave her husband, but she goes back to him and gets pregnant, you need to dump the chump!
When we can love ourselves and be confident in who we are, the right person will come into our lives, and at the right time. So if you are not in a fulfilling relationship, see what part of you needs healing and do the work. And by the time you are done with that, the right relationship will find you. While healing parts of ourselves may be hard, the rewards are great! I promise you! Just remember that holding onto something that doesn’t serve you anymore is what causes you pain and anxiety. Letting go of it will cause peace.
10 thoughts on “Dump the Chump!”
Very, Very Well Said Hern, Simple truths, n yet with kindness. Thank You Hern for this Great Article:)
Thank you Hern
I had to highlight those lines:
“Of course I always hear, “But I love him!” What I hear when they say that is, “I don’t love myself enough to have someone treat me right, and this is all I deserve.” That is what you are really saying because when you love yourself enough, you won’t be waiting by the phone for him to call. Your life won’t stand still until he decides if he wants to see you.”
Those lines are speaking directly to me. Thank you for the great article.
WOW!!! How could I be so foolish?
This article is true. I’ve lived it. After I found my husband’s child porn I turned him into the police immediately. We had been married 25 years. Yes, there’s people out there who will blame me but I really know until then. I left him immediately too. When I saw the first picture, at first my mind wouldn’t even accept what I seeing but then it hit me and I felt my soul shatter into a million pieces. Talk about the ultimate betrayal!
It took me 6 years to finally dump this chump in my mind. I had left him physically but still missed him mentally. 6 years of trying to figure out why. Why was he like this. What happened to him as a child? Why did he do these things to innocent children? It made me very sick physically as well. Got Fibromyalgia and a host of other things wrong with me now.
After finally clearing him from my emotions and mind I have met the man of my dreams. He is similar to my EX but so very different in many ways as well. He has the good parts. He just came up and sat down right next to me and started talking. We’ve been together for a year now and life is sweet. My health problems are improving too along with my happiness. It all connects.
Well said, Hern !!!!!
Will I ever find real love ?
I have a hubby who promised me a better life (at the time we met I was in an abusive relationship and the abuser was destroying my home as well as beating me and terrorising my cats) when we married for the first 22 years we lived at his mum’s with the ‘this will be ours and we’ll make it lovely’ as a promise then after she passed on in January there was I can have a studio to work on my jewellery- well his mother has passed on now 9 months – and during the early part of that we had a small nest egg to do the work as he’d been medically retired from his job as a postie, and his mum left him a little too I admit the house was a state as nothing had been done since his dad died in the 70s, but we still have rooms half done -nothing is finished even though in at least two of the rooms we had got everything we need to finish it off before we ran out of money-and we can still do a lot with what we have to make it nice I really am beginning to resent it and withdraw into myself now -mainly so I don’t say anything I’ll regret later – is it that he’s 15/10/60 and I’m 14/02/58- so our age ?
hi Hern,
great article… straightforward as can be.
I love the line “When I try and tell them this (because their guides are shining a big ol’ light on it), some get angry and hang up on me.”
sure they hang up on you but hang on to the person who is making them miserable.
how profound huh!!!
your humor and points are well received – I too have heard the “but I love them” – at that point I ask “why, name one reason one thing that this person does that you love them for”, I get a lot of hum’s and it often takes way to long before the person realizes that they cannot find any reason to love the person, other than love itself. I wonder if that is often enough?
have a great weekend and thank you for sharing your man wise-ness.
🙂 -quinn
Great article! Simple truths clearly stated with humor and kindness. Thank you Hern!
Blessings, Faith ext. 9608