Developing Compassion

Shakyamuni, the original Buddha, and founder of Buddhism, first taught that life is suffering, and that all suffering is the result of attachment.

The end of suffering begins when we see through the illusion that everything is static, and realize that all things are constantly changing and transforming, even if we cannot see it with our physical eyes. We begin to see that nothing truly belongs to us, and is only loaned to us from Source, for even if we were to keep everything and everyone we acquired, at some point we will leave this world and will take nothing with us, except that which we arrived with.

When living blindly in the world of attachments, our viewpoint becomes narrowed and we are “I” oriented. Other people and their struggles don’t really concern us. Our ego runs the show as we attack or defend our futile positions when we come into conflict with others – all in an attempt to protect a phantom, a distorted perception of who we think we are.

But when a great loss occurs, our hearts break, awakening us from our deep slumber – we feel raw, tender and out of sorts, and many will do just about anything to avoid it – jumping into another relationship, using drugs or alcohol, throwing themselves into work, shopping, overeating, the endless watching of television – the list is endless.

But what if we didn’t distract ourselves? What if we sat with the pain, let it be and allowed it to enter our heart, no matter how scary? Our hearts begin to expand, our wisdom flourishes and, ultimately, the experience cultivates the rich garden soil within our beings where the flowers of compassion begin to sprout and grow.

When this happens, we begin to experience what is called “Loving Kindness” – a deep acceptance of who we are and our interconnectedness with all living beings. As this loving kindness towards ourselves grows, so does it extend to those around us – the kinder we become to ourselves, the kinder we become to others, and through meditation we can cultivate this quality within ourselves, deepening and expanding our growth and transformation.

Briefly, when the mind is silenced as best as can be, focus your attention upon your heart. You will experience warmth, tingling, vibration and a sense of your heart expanding. Then call to mind someone in your life who has loved you unconditionally, taking these feelings into your heart with the intention of giving it to yourself, allowing the experience to expand your heart even further. To extend it to others, use the same instructions, but this time, instead of sending it to yourself, send it to someone you know and care for deeply. Going further, extend it to an acquaintance. Then, lastly, send loving kindness to a person you have conflicts with, or who you feel has hurt or wronged you in the past. Do all this with the focus being on your heart, and see what happens.

Through my own practice, I’m now finally realizing that you, me, all people, all things, are nothing but Love. Anything else is an illusion and has its roots in fear. I’m realizing that when people are acting in a less than respectful or humane way, it is because they are suffering and are only expressing it outwardly to others. More importantly, it is a cry for Love. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Lastly, I believe that the major reason we undergo great trials and suffering is not only for our own learning and growth, but to help others overcome theirs. We come to realize that another’s suffering is our suffering. As we learn from our pain, our compassion grows, and when we see another suffering, we are able to reach out and help them achieve a state of inner peace, acceptance, and growth that we would never have been able to do if we ourselves had never allowed our experience to transform us.

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7 thoughts on “Developing Compassion

  1. Kiara Prasad

    Hey there is alot of things in your article I admire alot though I beg to differ with Buddha’s point of view about attachment. It is true it does play a part in suffering but so does isolation too or feeling withdrawn from our surroundings and people. Thugh, I must admit suffering from the result of an attachment is a blessing itself in a way. 🙂

    Reply
  2. Jacqueline

    Absolutly love your article Pheonix full of great in site,

    Once we as humans let go of everything, release one-self from all the illusions of this world, the need to control, while pressing our point. it is at that point where one truly sets them-self free, but, this can be the biggest obstacle…. the simple act as letting go.

    I agree with you full heartily about many things in this life is an illusion, I was shown this when I crossed over it left a profound effect on my life.

    Blessings and Big Hugs!
    Jacqueline x9472

    Reply
  3. velvetoversteel

    I believe that same as all of you. I know that I would not be the person I am or help the people I do through my writing and being the friend I am, if I had not ‘gone through the traumas’ that I did. It has made not only myself more understanding and compassionate, but my sons, who witnessed much of it, incredible compassionate and caring young men.

    It used to tear me up when I both, remembered some of the trauma in my dreams and when my sons witnessed some of it. Until I learned from it and used what I learned to teach and help others. Including my sons who I talked to about it opening while they were growing up; instead of pretending how I was treated was ok or normal. I didn’t know at the time if that was the right decision. I truely believe it was now though! 🙂

    Wonderful, wonderful post, Phoenix!

    Blessings & Many Hugs,
    Coreen @ VOS

    Reply
  4. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Hi Phoenix,

    Much wisdom in your words, Phoenix !

    ……. many psychics I have known, and trained, have experienced much trauma in their past…but it helped them, prepared them, to be able to help others in the future.
    I refer to that as their ” the walk thru fire “.

    “””” Lastly, I believe that the major reason we undergo great trials and suffering is not only for our own learning and growth, but to help others overcome theirs. We come to realize that another’s suffering is our suffering. As we learn from our pain, our compassion grows, and when we see another suffering, we are able to reach out and help them achieve a state of inner peace, acceptance, and growth that we would never have been able to do if we ourselves had never allowed our experience to transform us. “””””.

    The last paragraph articulates very well WHY we all ” walk thru fire ” at certain points in our life. I urge people to embrace those ” trials by fire ” …..and extract as much learning and wisdom as you can from it, for your own future use, and to help others in the future as well.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

    Reply

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