The Ex that Won’t Go Away
If you and your ex were meant to be together, you’d still be with them, right? Well, at least that’s a good attitude to have when moving on with your life. Unfortunately for some people, their exes can’t be tossed aside so easily. There are things that continue to bond them, like children or emotional attachments. And these connections aren’t always easy to deal with. If you have a bothersome ex, here’s some advice to help you keep them in line.
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Whether you’re dating, married, or have divorced a narcissist, you know that they can be one of the most difficult types of lovers. Many are gifted at socializing and are charming, which is why they probably got your attention in the first place. The best way to deal with their behavior is to realize that most narcissists are incapable of true love. They were kind to you because you were doing things to make them happy. Now that they’re your ex, you can expect hurtful remarks and attempts at using their charm to make you look bad. Just ignore them. Don’t add fuel to the fire.
The victim feels like they were wronged in the relationship, whether they broke up with you or not. They’ll try to make you feel guilty, like in spite of their best efforts, the relationship failed because of you. While it’s good to own up to your mistakes, don’t let them make you feel like it’s all your fault. They own at least half of the responsibility. They may also try to look pathetic and sad so you’ll feel bad for them and take them back out of pity.
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The Vindictive Ex
The vindictive ex is out for revenge. They feel like they’ve been wronged and plan to make someone pay—and that someone is you. They can be dangerous and will stop at nothing in order to make your life miserable. They’ll spread rumors, send hateful messages and even destroy your personal property. The want to “win,” and in their mind winning means you won’t be able to move on with your life and find happiness. Whatever you do, don’t engage them. Don’t strike back. Call the police instead.
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The stalker ex can also be dangerous. If you feel like you’re being stalked by an ex, set boundaries and involve law enforcement if necessary. You can do a few things to limit their access to you: change your Facebook password and privacy settings, block their phone number or change your phone number and instruct mutual friends not to share things about your life. If things get out of hand, take legal action.
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The Controlling Ex
In many relationships there is an imbalance of power. When those relationships end, the dominant partner may continue trying to control their ex. Realize that their desire to control you comes from lack of confidence, fear and insecurities. They control you because they feel like their own life is out of control. Make sure you set limits and boundaries with them if you need to have them in your life. And if you don’t need to have them in you life, treat them as you would a stalker ex.