The Ex that Won’t Go Away
If you and your ex were meant to be together, you’d still be with them, right? Well, at least that’s a good attitude to have when moving on with your life. Unfortunately for some people, their exes can’t be tossed aside so easily. There are things that continue to bond them, like children or emotional attachments. And these connections aren’t always easy to deal with. If you have a bothersome ex, here’s some advice to help you keep them in line.
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Whether you’re dating, married, or have divorced a narcissist, you know that they can be one of the most difficult types of lovers. Many are gifted at socializing and are charming, which is why they probably got your attention in the first place. The best way to deal with their behavior is to realize that most narcissists are incapable of true love. They were kind to you because you were doing things to make them happy. Now that they’re your ex, you can expect hurtful remarks and attempts at using their charm to make you look bad. Just ignore them. Don’t add fuel to the fire.
The victim feels like they were wronged in the relationship, whether they broke up with you or not. They’ll try to make you feel guilty, like in spite of their best efforts, the relationship failed because of you. While it’s good to own up to your mistakes, don’t let them make you feel like it’s all your fault. They own at least half of the responsibility. They may also try to look pathetic and sad so you’ll feel bad for them and take them back out of pity.
Are you tired of playing the victim in your relationships? Psychic Maeve ext. 5360 can help you find your strength!
The Vindictive Ex
The vindictive ex is out for revenge. They feel like they’ve been wronged and plan to make someone pay—and that someone is you. They can be dangerous and will stop at nothing in order to make your life miserable. They’ll spread rumors, send hateful messages and even destroy your personal property. The want to “win,” and in their mind winning means you won’t be able to move on with your life and find happiness. Whatever you do, don’t engage them. Don’t strike back. Call the police instead.
Do you feel like an ex is spreading lies about you? Find out what they’re saying and how to handle them during a reading with Psychic Sonja ext. 5071!
The stalker ex can also be dangerous. If you feel like you’re being stalked by an ex, set boundaries and involve law enforcement if necessary. You can do a few things to limit their access to you: change your Facebook password and privacy settings, block their phone number or change your phone number and instruct mutual friends not to share things about your life. If things get out of hand, take legal action.
Find out what their number one source of information is. Psychic Brendalynn ext. 5173 knows.
The Controlling Ex
In many relationships there is an imbalance of power. When those relationships end, the dominant partner may continue trying to control their ex. Realize that their desire to control you comes from lack of confidence, fear and insecurities. They control you because they feel like their own life is out of control. Make sure you set limits and boundaries with them if you need to have them in your life. And if you don’t need to have them in you life, treat them as you would a stalker ex.
30 thoughts on “How to Deal with a Bothersome Ex”
You are right on the money! My ex is all of those things. The ultimate low was telling me he had pancreatic cancer so I would drop restraining order and take care of him. Little did I know, all he wanted was accessed all my confidential items and titles. Everything of value that he wanted, he had already removed from the house before the police showed up to remove him again!
Contacts all my friends. Put articles up on the Internet about me with a map to my house! Tells anybody that will listen, that he owns the house and I stole everything from him! When I met him…as it turned out everything that he said was his was from past girlfriends in their names.
The lesson learned was to trust your gut instinct when you think there’s something wrong! 1.5 yrs and he still won’t leave me alone. I’m in court at least once a month ….I was not married to this man…… Even charmed the female police officer to help him load up things on his final visit!
my separated husband, the same, married 34 years, after 25 yrs. marriage he decides to be a ‘live-in handyman’ for single, divorced wealthy women at the exclusive beach several states away, this goes on still today, I hoped he would get tired of it or it wouldn’t work out or he would see the value of home and family but no, he calls himself ‘handy randy’ and says there are a lot of desperate women out there and demands I take care of his needs when he comes back before he leaves again, he says he will give me 24 hr notice sometimes not even that, he just goes never puts his suitcase away so I have to get a restraining order, and I try to get over it, make the sad go away, I hoped for a long term marriage with growing together and memories and happy family with our 5 kids but no, the worst opposite, if I could at least get a job, if someone would hire me, if I could make a living wage that would help but no, not even that, too bad no support because he never paid taxes I was told and he gets 50% of the house he destroyed, neglected, abandoned that I took care of, the disaster he created, all my hard work he gets 50% I am told. I get sad, alone so many years, no one, and now I am getting too old to ever have long term companionship, I cant even afford a divorce and then he gets his half the house, I lose the home where my life is where I raised my children, all the memories, he left me and he gets 50% of all my hard work I am told, there would be no house if I hadn’t taken care of it, it isn’t worth anything except the land, the house is worthless now
this a a good one you wrote. this I think you has eyes far to see what was going with me now I feels someone knows and understand I feel much better thanks a lot.
I have been married for29 yrs. Divorced. My ex still says he wants me back, but things have to be his way or the highway. I still love him. We go back together for 3 yrs. Then he is gone again. It is avvicious circle. He took me 1200 miles from home and left me in 2012. With nothing, no money no clothes nothing. I made it back home to find the locks changed and him with another woman. He said as soon as he got rid of her in 2013 he wanted me back home. I didn’t come back at his demand. I got help firm law enforcement and the Women’s crisis center. I will come back when I’m ready this time. He says he wants me back home now. Even though everything I won in the world is at our home, I don’t know what to do. He has been mentally and emotionally abuses for all this year’s it make me sometimes take my life and get it over with. But I don’t want to give him that satification. Any one have any answers for me. Need help in Texas.
I guess I was lucky. I have a friend who put the fear of you-know-what into my abusive ex-spouse, so he has stayed away from me. I was lucky too because we had no children. God bless all of you who are having to put up with nasty ex spouses
who are using your kids as pawns.
And as for you Darlene… I too am sorry for your loss, but your comments are both mean spirited and completely inappropriate. You were lucky to have a good spouse, but the rest of us were not. That said, please DO NOT rub our noses in it and tell us the we are wrong and we don’t know what we are talking about. I am an ABUSE SURVIVOR! DO NOT tell me that my feelings are wrong, because you don’t have a freaking clue, lady!!!
I enjoyed reading the comments . It thought me how to defend my self. My x boyfriend has othere people calling me from restricted phone numbers he wants to put fear in to me. I am glad I no longer have contact with him he needs to get a life. He took advantage of my kindness and he played so many mind games. I am free at last, I am going to collage to do better things in life. He needs to move on I have god on my side. Move on girls never give up in searching for your Mr. Right
the reason why this process goes on, has to do with the offer.The person will not let the loved one go,no matter what situation has become, and because of the children’s sake.Love is sacrifice for this person and does not see the reality of consequences here..It takes time to leave the bagage from loved one.The worst in this case is when the offer start to be involved with someone who cares and love but the offer can not give back the love and caring feeling so he maybe in a relationship just for the meantime without future and here comes a new offer.The best for this offer is to be alone until the right time comes..
Let’s not forget the “high tech ex”…the one who uses the internet to blog every lie and distortion imaginable against you and makes sure you are helpless to fight back. Or who makes sure to blind the offspring whom you have raised and to make sure you never have contact with him again. (Things can get really complicated in same sex scenarios!)
There is a great deal of power that can be wielded through social media and the internet and we should always be secure enough in ourselves and our new relationships to brace against the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortunes” that come from our exs. There is a reason they have an “X” in front of them now! LOL!
Great article and great dialogue!
Sorry to hear about your spouse.
I pray my narcissistic boyfriend in my silent prayer.
How to help a narcissistic boyfriend? Please help!
My ex start dating a 22 year old girl his old enough to be her father had her thinking I was stalking him when I would go to his house to get money to pay his bill what a way to end a 8year relationship caught cheating
My ex was the kind that owed me and her and her family love to put me down at church and yes this is very painful.
My ex is all of the above. I have been have going through this with him for over a year being that we have a child together. He had me at hello and every other female he deals with also because he is so charming and plays the victim when it comes to people asking why we aren’t together. I left because he was abusive and controlling. Even now he tries to scare every man I come in contact with or think I come in contact with away. He will make up lies about me to anyone who will listen. I have no contact with him period which does hurt because I want my son father in his life but I know it’s not safe. ESPECIALLY after he busted out the windows of my home trying in pure rage. I almost just want to give up having a dating life because he makes my life HELL.
Keep your head up love. 22 yrs for me as well 3 children.. im just getting to the separation part i was stuck in limbo with no where to go. I believe in you. You ALL deserve love. The love that you give will come back one day you will find someone that will LOVE YALL with that same love. Its hell my soon to b ex is all of the above.. i wish i had gotten back my self confidence and worth the first time he cheated. NO MORE manipulation NO AFFAIRS NO MORE lies.. NO MORE BS. OWN IT FEEL IT .. and be that fierce loving woman. Find you your passions your spice.. LOVE YOURSELF be you! You will find your king one day! I believe in you! LOVE AND LIGHT TO YOU ALL✨
I feel sorry for anyone that has an ex. Mine lied to me, stole from me and if hadn’t involved the police he would still be living with me. It was the hardest decision of my life to call the police but maybe the best. He still stalks me many years later but thanks from great insight I can handle it. Do what you need to do and in time I hope he will leave me alone and I can trust the new person in my life not to do the same. He does not deserve it!
I am going through this right now and have been for months !!!
Yes, I do have a bothersome Ex who spread rumors about me at my job. In otherwords, he met a coworker online from one of the dating sites. She started spreading rumors about me within the Government agency. However, words can be very hurtful at times.
Great article Eric, and one which many of our callers here at CP will be able to clearly identify with! Great tips on how to handle some of the more difficult situations, as well. Many times, the ex will indeed elicit a feeling of sympathy on some level that will prevent the person targeted from handling the issue in a way that serves their highest well being. Being provided with the encouragement here in how to properly handle some of the more potentially damaging issues will assist those that might need it, so they s/he can properly put and end to the problem.
Ok.. You are so right!
This article was directed toward individuals that do have a problem with an ex interfering in their lives, as they try to move on. While this is not your situation, it is an extremely common one for many others.
My ex son in law is one of those ex’s from hell. After my daughter left him he tried to kill her dogs, and he stalked her all the time. He went to her job, and told everyone lies about her. He’s now wearing an ankle bracelet, out on bail, and due back in court to plea bargain to robbery, burglary and assault. He can turn on the charm to get women hooked, but after a while his true nature comes out. These guys are predators, looking for women who are hungry for love. My daughter said she had a gut feeling this guy would be trouble, but she was lonely, and wanted a boyfriend.
MY EX IS THE ONE THAT THREW ME AWAY, SHE TOLD MY SISTER THAT SHE DID’NT NEED OR WANT ME ANY MORE.
Your right on the money and your advise has heal me to realize that it is not all just my fault and I was able to get the help that I needed to fix me. So thank you you are all life savers in my opinion.
You are soooo right!!! After 35 years of marriage and separated now, he still is mean. He says he moved on , with a girlfriend all ready, he texts mean little sayings on my phone for noo reason. Just to have control. He always had to have control!! Thanks for the advise!
some people just don’t know how to comprehend what do you read these days…. It’s not about you.
To Darlene! This article has absolutely Nothing to do with a dead spouse! Sorry for your loss and obvious grief but these psychics absolutely DO know what they are talking about as I deal with a Stalker Ex and have just been given excellent advise. Thank you again California Psychics for another great read!
Getting divorce he is trying to take everything. He is mentally and verbally abusive. We got court April 3. Help me get all I want after being with him 17 years. I need a judge that will give me my due .
I don’t have a bothersome EX. You don’t know what you are talking about. My husband of 40 yrs was wonderful,He is in Heaven now. So you psychics are wrong.
Great advice, Eric !!!!