What Type of Relationship Truly Fulfills the Authentic You?
Many think traditional marriage is a thing of the past. Even the head of eHarmony was quoted recently as saying that traditional marriage is out-moded and completely unnecessary, pointing to the well-known statistic that more than half of married relationships end in divorce. Some say many men (due to the nature of their hormonal makeup and their primordial DNA) may not actually be able to adhere to the parameters that monogamy requires… Still the vast number of my clients and clients I speak to on California Psychics are longing for marriage or at the very least committed partnership—even individuals long past child-bearing age. Go figure!
True Desire or Programming?
Certainly many clients in their twenties seem to be pre-programmed in auto-pilot to seek marriage and many clients in their late twenties to mid thirties seem wired for child-bearing. Having lived in the UK and Europe where it seems many couples live out of wedlock, co-habitating or maintain separate abodes, I wonder what it is about our culture that seems to cling to a cultural tradition that seems to have less and less meaning in a society where it is no longer an economic necessity.
Still it seems that children who grow up in a more traditional household where there are two parents (no matter the gender) in a on-going consistent family unit seem to grow up healthier and one parent families or children of divorce often seem lost and less able to bond or maintain on-going intimate connection. Certainly children of divorce have been statistically shown to have challenges with bonding and trust.
How many of us actually reflect on what would really work for us as individuals as opposed to instinctual, knee-jerk reactions that may be based on “fairy-tale” notions or societal and peer pressure?
Blissfully Happy—Alone or Together?
In my own life, my grandparents were a long time married couple with my grandmother accommodating my grandfather; their union seemed to be fundamentally happy—with divorce not even being considered an option. Their primarily contented and solid relationship was the bedrock of the rest of the family—providing security, consistency and sense of family history that has been invaluable to me and the rest of their grandchildren—my brother and sister and our nephews and nieces.
In my mother’s case, she was married three times—all three times unhappily with one only lasting two weeks. Interestingly, I, on the other hand, have maintained a blissfully single life, never even coming close to marriage. My birth chart gives a clue as to why this is: with Uranus the planet of freedom on my ascendant and my sun sign in Aquarius ruling freedom and individuality—these tendencies indicate someone who values freedom above all else. Ironically one of my specialties as a spiritual adviser is soul mate connections and what kind of combinations of connections make for long term happiness in intimate partnership.
Again, go figure!
Fate, Family Patterns, Karma and/or Self-Awareness?
My twice married brother is blissfully happy having felt like he found his true partner. My brother believes that if you do not find your true partner and marry for other reasons, that you will, in fact, keep looking and find on-going faithfulness a challenge. He also believes that we have very little control over who our mate is and that this is more in the hands of our “fate” and “destiny.”
I tend to think it’s much more complicated than that. I wish more and more of my clients would actually reflect on what would make them truly happy in alignment with their true selves and believe there should be many more possibilities in the relationship arena—that it’s not really black and white. But still people seem to keep looking—and in fact, feel compelled to search for and find their “soul mates,” whether this reflects a profound longing on the soul level or a massive brain-washing by the popular media remains open to discussion.