Caregivers: What Happens When the Job is Done?

What Happens When the Job is Done?

Caregivers Have One of the Toughest Jobs!

The longer I live, the more experiences I have and the more I seem to understand the ebbs and flows of life. Have you ever provided long-term care for a loved one? Whether it was to help them heal or to help them transition to the other side, you know how much work it can be. Yes, it’s work and it can last many weeks, months or even years. This is for all the caregivers who have stayed until the job was done!

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You’ve learned how to do medical things you thought you’d never do. You’ve learned to have more patience than you’ve ever had before and you’ve also learned that love can sometimes be very frustrating. Being a caregiver is much like having a child—attitudes and behaviors arise that you must overlook. You learn to swallow your pride, while sometimes anger and even dread become a daily mindset that is hard to shake. You can meditate, pray or call your psychic for advice and comfort, but you know that the comfort is only temporary. Soon, it’s back to the daily grind of cooking, cleaning and caring for your loved one.

A Child’s Death

For a long while, a dear friend of mine was caring for her ill son. She was determined to find the cure that would heal him. She was able to keep him alive a lot longer than expected, but he passed away after three years. This woman is amazing. She had a job, but when she wasn’t at work, she was spending time with her son, doing Internet research, talking to doctors and maintaining her household. When her son passed, she was suddenly left without the job of caring for him. Losing a child is a horrible experience, no matter how old they are. But she was able to find productive things to do to fill her time while still keeping her son’s memory alive.

A Wife’s Remission

A caller of mine is a beautiful woman who was diagnosed with breast cancer and she needed to have a full mastectomy. Four years later, she’s cancer free and she is back to working and looking great. Her husband took care of her while she was going through this hard time in her life. He did a good job, but when the healing was done and she didn’t need care anymore, he wanted out of the marriage. This broke his wife’s heart, but with lots of conversation and guidance from me, she is getting closer to finding her happy zone. As for her husband, I will never know what his karma holds.

The Moral

Although both my stories had very different outcomes, the lesson is indeed the same: Being a caregiver is a job, even if you are caring for a loved one. And the job has an expiration date, whether it’s because someone passes away or it’s because they make a full recovery. But no matter the outcome, the caregiver has to get used to a new life once the care they provide is no longer needed. And the new life they take on is of their own creation.

If you are a caregiver, what will you do once the need for care ends? Or if you’re no longer a caregiver, how are you filling up your time? If you’re pondering a new life, I can help you explore your options and help you mentally and emotionally recover from what was probably one of the hardest jobs you’ll ever have.

Psychic Quinn ext. 5484

9 thoughts on “Caregivers: What Happens When the Job is Done?

  1. LJ Innes

    A wonderful article. It made me see (and question) a lot. I owe someone a thank you and this article not only made me realize that, but made it clear that I need to do it now. Thanks for the heartfelt examples that made me realize a bigger truth. Love this article – it pretty much changed my life and my perception. Thanks.
    LJ

    Reply
  2. Quinn ext.5484Psychic Quinn ext. 5484

    Gina Rose – I bow humbly to your compassionate nature and divine spirit.

    Virgo2757 – thank you so much for sharing your story. my prayers are with you and yours.

    Dear June, life shifts in stages, there will be ebbs and flows of peaceful times ahead making for a recovery for you personally.

    Hi Beverly, your thoughtfulness in reaching out is of the most high. bless you.

    BUDDHA BLESS
    -quinn

    Reply
  3. Beverly

    I would like to suggest to both parties that Prayer changes things and it will help you navigate through your problems with relief. May God co9ntinue to bless both of you. I did it for over 20 years for my mom, who died in 2012. Now Iam enjoying life.

    Reply
  4. June

    I am longer a care giver, I was a nurse for 40 years then I have cared fror my husband who died six weeks ago. I feel lost lonley and feel life is quite pointless. I am not saying I want to die but I cannot find a purpose. Even when I am told it will pass I cannot see a future for me. June

    Reply
  5. virgo2757

    To Quinn: I almost fell off my chair when I saw today’s blog post! Just this morning, after trying for a year to find a place that would take my husband, we were notified that a bed has opened up at a local nursing home, and that my husband could be admitted next week! He is suffering from muscular dystrophy; when we first met 28 years ago, I knew he had MD but he was ambulatory enough back then to hold down a job, play sports, etc. Our relationship has never really been that good (I overlooked a lot of red flags when we were dating), and in the last decade we’ve gone from being husband and wife to merely nurse and patient. His physical condition began to seriously decline, in stages, beginning in 1997.At first I didn’t have too much trouble helping him around, but he has been almost totally immobile since 2009, and I’ve had to do literally everything for him. My body feels like I’ve been in daily barroom brawls, I’m constantly exhausted and I’ve often felt like I was losing my mind. Today I feel vindicated.

    To Karen: don’t give up!! Take whatever offers of physical and emotional help that you get! Do whatever you need to do to develop a support system. Your comments about hating your life & its burdens, worrying about money & your future, and your husband wanting a caregiver instead of a wife resonated with me more than you can know. If he gets crabby, don’t let him tear down your self esteem. Remind him…and yourself…that you’re doing the best you can, you’re not a trained medical professional (you’re not, are you?) and that you’re not a machine. Don’t try to be a hero; if you’ve reached your physical or emotional limits, admit it to yourself and don’t feel guilty for not giving more. I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers that you find help for your situation with your husband and that you will see a clear path for the decisions you have to make. Be as good to yourself as you are to your husband.

    Reply
  6. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    I gained my care giver experience very early in life at the tender age of 9 years old. My Grandparents and Great Aunt had adopted me and since my Great Aunt was away most of the time and my Grandfather worked nights and slept days it was up to me to help out after my Grandmother had a major stroke which left her paralyzed and speechless. I learned a lot is an understatement !!!! But it was useful, as I learned how to cook healthy meals, clean house, iron clothes ( my Grandfathers work uniform ), do laundry, etc……I had to bathe, feed, and clean my Grandmother. and monitor her in taking her medicine.
    Do I regret not having a normal childhood ???? No I don’t, and I would do it all again if I could bring her back. Since they had adopted me, I just figured it was part of my Karma debt to help them. I’m no saint, but these life experiences shape our character and promote our Karmic evolution.

    Nice article, Quinn.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

    Reply
  7. Quinn ext.5484Psychic Quinn ext. 5484

    Dear Karen,
    Your goodness will go a long way in your life…
    Stop hating, it is so draining and a precious waste of your energy.
    Use this mantra in order to stay sane. “LIVE IN THE MOMENT AND THINK POSITIVE”
    Know I am hear for you if you want to talk.
    With deep respect,
    -quinn

    Reply
  8. Karen

    I am in the thick of it 4 years taking care of my disabled husband and God knows how many more? I hate my life and all the burdens I have and the looming fears over money and the
    future? He just wants a caregiver and not a wife. Hard decisions are going to have to be
    made soon and its really a daily hell.

    Reply

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