Suffering Through Breakups
When it comes to breakups, men and women handle them differently. Men initiate some kind of change in their life, while women tend to stick to their routines and daily rituals. Men become busier than normal, making themselves scarce from friends and family for at least a few weeks. Women want to be comforted by their closest friends. Women express their feelings and emotions, while men tend to bottle everything up. On the surface, it seems like women have a harder time dealing with breakups than men, but the opposite is actually true. Women are actually better equipped to handle breakups! Here’s why breakups are tougher on men.
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Quality of Life
The kind of changes men make after a breakup are often ill advised. That’s because women are the building blocks of a man’s social network, confidence and even wardrobe. Women keep track of their partner’s appointments, important events, help them get organized, and encourage healthier behavior. But once they’re gone, all the care they showed goes with them. Now he’s left to fend for himself.
Lack of Emotional Support
As I said before, women often turn to close friends for comfort after a breakup. Men may do the same, but the advice and comfort their friends offer isn’t as good. A buddy may say, “forget about her,” but that’s obviously easier said than done. Some men may turn to alcohol or drugs to forget, as they realize their main source of emotional support was the woman they just broke up with. According to studies, 70 percent of men claim their partner is their go-to person when they feel depressed, while only 40 percent of women feel the same. Women are just better set up when it comes to dealing with their emotions and sadness during (and before) a breakup.
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Not Facing the Pain
Men don’t face their pain in the same way women do, because it’s not “manly.” Rather, they mask it instead by keeping busy or by drinking alcohol or abusing drugs. In fact, according to one study from the University of Virginia, many men would rather shock themselves with electricity than sit in an empty room with only their own thoughts to keep them company. Because men won’t face their feelings, it takes them a lot longer to get over a breakup than it takes women. They just don’t allow themselves to go through the natural process of grieving that will help them heal. Instead, they go through a series of steps including denial, panic and even a string of one-night stands before they find the motivation to move on.
Overestimating Her Affection
Studies suggest that men assume women are into them more than they actually are. That’s why breakups are so hard on men. Here’s a woman who was “really” into him, but she broke up with him anyway. Men fall in love easier than women, according to studies, which means they’re susceptible to a lot of broken hearts. They can also suffer in long-term relationships because a good portion of their identity depends on how well they care for their partners.
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Some experts think men get more out of a committed relationship than women do. Committed relationships remove all the strain and heartbreak found in the normal dating process. As proof, married men rarely initiate divorce and they enjoy better health and well-being due to the security of a committed relationship. The same often isn’t true for women.
When Cheating, Men Have More to Lose
When it comes to cheating, studies suggest men feel more guilt about it because they don’t justify their actions the way women who cheat do. Men may not be looking to get out of their relationships, because they still love their partners or at least they love what their partners provide. Also, they are not as emotionally invested in their affairs as women who cheat often are, so they may be thrown off by all the negative consequences when and if they get caught. By comparison, most women who cheat have already decided that they want out of their long-term relationship, they have already justified their actions, and they are prepared to move on.
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When it comes to breakups, women may be sad about them, but they recover. Men have a much harder time moving on.