Finding Solid Ground
Being part of a loving couple is an amazing thing. You have someone to support you as much as you support them. When a partnership is working well, both sides can feel supported, heard, and stable. This is especially important when life leaves us feeling like we are nothing more than flotsam and jetsam, moving about at the whim of powers and energies beyond our control. This is when we can start to feel ungrounded, perhaps both as a couple or as an individual and it is important to find your center again. Sometimes we can achieve this simply by closing our eyes and imagining we are in a place that we find peaceful and calming, other times breathing exercises can help us to come back to the moment and feel more in control. Other simple techniques can be found in our 30 Day Grounding Challenge.
Staying grounded and centered helps us to face many challenges and difficulties that we may encounter, whether that is simply having a rough day or having a disagreement with our partner. When we are in a grounded state, we have a greater chance of not giving in to emotional highs and lows, and that makes communication and interactions with those in our lives much easier.
5 Ways Grounding Yourself Can Help Your Relationship
Tense moments with your partner can easily escalate. Every problem is more manageable when you can remain calm.
Being grounded results in increased clarity and focus. The chances for a misunderstanding or misinterpretation are lessened.
We waste so much time on past regrets and future anxiety. Mindfulness and grounding anchor you in the present.
When emotions are high, both of you are more likely to be reactive. It is far easier to be patient when you feel grounded.
It can be hard to count your blessings, especially if you are not thinking clearly. Grounding yourself allows for a deeper perspective, allowing both of you to be truly grateful for what each other brings to the partnership.
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2 Grounding Exercises to Try With Your Partner
One exercise is the 4, 7, 8 Technique. I like this one better than simply taking four (4), four-count breaths as it causes you to be more mindful and stay in the moment. Here’s how it works:
- Exhale completely through your mouth and make a whoosh sound.
- Inhale quietly through your nose with your mouth closed to a mental count of four (4).
- Hold your breath for seven (7) counts.
- Exhale completely through your mouth, to a count of eight (8). This is one breath.
- Repeat the cycle three (3) more times for a total of four (4) breaths.
Doing this exercise while you have white noise playing in the background is a great way to start a deep or important conversation with your partner, especially if either of you could find the topic difficult. This technique is also useful when you are about to lose your temper or when things between you and your partner are getting heated. Step away from the situation for a few moments and do the exercise so that you aren’t as reactive and emotional.
When you want to feel connected with your loved one you can also try using a soul-gazing breathing/grounding technique. I like to add a tactile element to this one by simply holding or placing hands on top of one another’s. Follow the below instructions for the Soul Gazing Technique:
- With your partner, take a minute to stretch and relax your body. Give special focus to your spine, neck, and head. Begin contracting and relaxing the muscles around these areas before allowing the muscles to become fully relaxed.
- Before you sit, say the sacred greeting “namaste,” which is Sanskrit for, “The divine within me honors the divine within you.”
- Sit down with your partner, either on the floor or on the bed. Sit facing each other, either kneeling or cross-legged. You may also face each other while sitting in chairs.
- Focus on your breathing with your eyes closed. Allow yourself to breathe deeply, with a long inhale and a long exhale. Notice any physical tension or feelings you may have. Acknowledge and accept each of these, but do not be distracted from your breath. Continue to breathe deeply.
- Keep your eyes closed, but lightly squeeze your partner’s hand to let them know that you have reached a place of stillness and are ready to begin the Soul Gazing. Wait for their response to your signal. They should respond in a similar manner and when they do, both partners open their eyes slowly.
- Look into their left eye. In Eastern tradition, the left eye is considered the feminine or receptive eye. Gazing into the left eye allows each partner to let the energy in, and to be in a receptive mode.
- Allow all distractions to melt away. Continue to breathe deeply. See how it feels to be intimately connected with another while staying aware of your breathing and centered in yourself. Realize that you can be both connected and part of a whole while still being a whole being in your own sense.
- The stillness of your gaze will gradually quiet your mind. In this stillness, all should fall away, and the small petty issues that cause blockages are recognized for what they are.
- Notice the rhythm of your breath and your partner’s. Start to synchronize your breathing until you are inhaling and exhaling together. Let your breath be subtle, but charged with the energy of your life force, and the energy of this moment.
- Continue the Soul Gazing exercise for five (5) minutes or so. When you are finished, say “namaste” one last time and enjoy the closeness that the exercise has brought about.
Maintaining a Connection
Being in a relationship is a joyful experience, but it also takes work to maintain. Learning how to stay grounded together can help strengthen the connection you share, which will help your love grow too.
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