Douches to Avoid at All Costs
There are specific types of guys to avoid on the dating scene. There are winners and there are losers… and then there are these seventeen guys, who I wouldn’t even recommend playing Parcheesi with:
1. The I Can’t Find My Phone Guy
This guy is full of excuses for why he is always conveniently unavailable. Lose him, along with his phone, which seems to be permanently misplaced.
2. The I Can’t Find My Toothbrush Either Guy
Hal Itosis is never a fun guy to hang around, especially when speaking distance is reduced to only several feet.
3. The Smooch, Hug, Call You Next Week But Never Does Wanker
This player is smooth. He knows what to say, what to do, and how to make the ladies swoon. His only downfall is he is dating 10 other women, which is why he can’t remember all those promises he’s made.
“Is there such a thing as true love? Yes there is!” – Marin ext. 5113
4. He’s Late… He’s Late, and It’s Probably Because It’s Not-Such-An-Important Date
These guys are late for everything, and especially for dates whom they could not care less about.
5. Lukewarm Larry
This is the guy who gives you absolutely no sign what-so-ever of whether he is interested in you or not. Why wait around wondering, when you could just get someone else?
6. The Guy Who’s Still Living with Parents or Roomates After Age 30
There are occasions when this is a necessity. However, there are guys who use this as an excuse to avoid growing up.
7. The Blame Game Guy
These guys blame everybody else for their shortcomings, and if you hang around long enough, you’ll soon be blamed too!
8. The Soon-to-Be Divorced Guy
Believe him when you see it! These cheating guys are always promising their relationship is on the fritz, and if you just wait long enough (and have sex with him in the meantime), he’ll be free and clear, and you’ll get to be his next Mrs. Soon-to-Be Ex… Yay!
9. The Loafing Loser
This is the dude that has money for video equipment and video games. However, he never seems to have enough for dinner and a movie. If video games take precedence over time spent with you, you best be hopping along like Mario and his brother!
This guy can’t do anything without consulting with his mommy first. Just think, if he really likes you, and you get married; one day he may need to consult with you too for everything from changing his underroos to eating a peanut.
“Relationships magnify the human experience.” – Quinn ext. 5484
11. The Family Basher
The guy who hates his family, even though they seem like a pretty good bunch of folks.
12. Mr. Keeps Coming Back
Everybody has that infatuation who keeps showing up at our doorstep at the most convenient time (when you don’t have anybody else). Just kick him to the curb, and make sure he stays there this time.
13. The Jerk
He’s cruel, critical, unpredictable, and emotionally unavailable, yet somehow this guy still gets dates. Would somebody please ban this guy from women’s lives once and for all?
The guy who has to tell you about every girl who gave him the eye while he was at the store, and jogging in the park. That’s great, why don’t you get their phone numbers, and call me when you have some self-esteem?
15. Treats You Like Sheet Guy
Girls are sometimes attracted to that bad boy. They are exciting, because you just never know what they are going to do. I’ll tell you what he’s going to do… break your heart. So save yourself the trouble and dump him.
16. The Leftover
These are the guys who nobody else wants, and yet you end up with them, because you don’t think that you can find anything better. Quit reheating these duds, and get yourself a man worth your potential!
17. Mr. Non-Committal
He may be great for a good time. However, once you’re ready for more, all he’ll have is more good times! That may sound okay until you realize that time really flies (10 years) when all you’re having is fun with no commitment.
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