17 Guys You Should Never Date

Douches to Avoid at All Costs

There are specific types of guys to avoid on the dating scene. There are winners and there are losers… and then there are these seventeen guys, who I wouldn’t even recommend playing Parcheesi with:

1. The I Can’t Find My Phone Guy

This guy is full of excuses for why he is always conveniently unavailable. Lose him, along with his phone, which seems to be permanently misplaced.

2. The I Can’t Find My Toothbrush Either Guy

Hal Itosis is never a fun guy to hang around, especially when speaking distance is reduced to only several feet.

3. The Smooch, Hug, Call You Next Week But Never Does Wanker

This player is smooth. He knows what to say, what to do, and how to make the ladies swoon. His only downfall is he is dating 10 other women, which is why he can’t remember all those promises he’s made.

“Is there such a thing as true love? Yes there is!” – Marin ext. 5113

4. He’s Late… He’s Late, and It’s Probably Because It’s Not-Such-An-Important Date

These guys are late for everything, and especially for dates whom they could not care less about.

5. Lukewarm Larry

This is the guy who gives you absolutely no sign what-so-ever of whether he is interested in you or not. Why wait around wondering, when you could just get someone else?

6. The Guy Who’s Still Living with Parents or Roomates After Age 30

There are occasions when this is a necessity. However, there are guys who use this as an excuse to avoid growing up.

7. The Blame Game Guy

These guys blame everybody else for their shortcomings, and if you hang around long enough, you’ll soon be blamed too!

8. The Soon-to-Be Divorced Guy

Believe him when you see it! These cheating guys are always promising their relationship is on the fritz, and if you just wait long enough (and have sex with him in the meantime), he’ll be free and clear, and you’ll get to be his next Mrs. Soon-to-Be Ex… Yay!

9. The Loafing Loser

This is the dude that has money for video equipment and video games. However, he never seems to have enough for dinner and a movie. If video games take precedence over time spent with you, you best be hopping along like Mario and his brother!

10. Mommy-May-I

This guy can’t do anything without consulting with his mommy first. Just think, if he really likes you, and you get married; one day he may need to consult with you too for everything from changing his underroos to eating a peanut.

“Relationships magnify the human experience.” – Quinn ext. 5484

11. The Family Basher

The guy who hates his family, even though they seem like a pretty good bunch of folks.

12. Mr. Keeps Coming Back

Everybody has that infatuation who keeps showing up at our doorstep at the most convenient time (when you don’t have anybody else). Just kick him to the curb, and make sure he stays there this time.

13. The Jerk

He’s cruel, critical, unpredictable, and emotionally unavailable, yet somehow this guy still gets dates. Would somebody please ban this guy from women’s lives once and for all?

14. Egomaniac

The guy who has to tell you about every girl who gave him the eye while he was at the store, and jogging in the park. That’s great, why don’t you get their phone numbers, and call me when you have some self-esteem?

15. Treats You Like Sheet Guy

Girls are sometimes attracted to that bad boy. They are exciting, because you just never know what they are going to do. I’ll tell you what he’s going to do… break your heart. So save yourself the trouble and dump him.

16. The Leftover

These are the guys who nobody else wants, and yet you end up with them, because you don’t think that you can find anything better. Quit reheating these duds, and get yourself a man worth your potential!

17. Mr. Non-Committal

He may be great for a good time. However, once you’re ready for more, all he’ll have is more good times! That may sound okay until you realize that time really flies (10 years) when all you’re having is fun with no commitment.

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40 thoughts on “17 Guys You Should Never Date

  1. TIRED OF IT ALL

    what about the ones that after one date claim they are one kiss from falling in love with you, but then you find out while he is telling you all of the sweet nothings you could ever dream of hearing, his is on a dating site talking it up with a bunch of other women…….

    Reply
  2. Melissa

    Wish I could say I didn’t recognize the characteristics mentioned Orr even recognize characteristics within myself. Another self help book to buy I suppose. Now I know why I am single

    Reply
  3. David

    Really that’s a good list.but nobody is perfect.we all have our short comings..the world contains many men and women,so we choose to match..one cannot go to the market and buy all or any shoe..you buy according to your taste and size..that is why we have the word choice..thank you.

    Reply
  4. wildone

    Yup, I have dated a few of them, and been hurt, the only good thing is that we learn from it, you have hit the nail on the head with your 17.

    Reply
  5. Bettin EX 5065

    Women date most of these guys because they think they have a mission to change them and turn them into the night they’re looking for. For a healthy relationship you need a healthy partner able to live a normal and healthy life away from all the above characters .

    Reply
  6. Gopinathan k

    That was a complete unilateral ,biased and extreme view article. U could have done better.
    Do one on women also.I agree with what ever u have said,but then there is also another
    side to these things.Basically when it comes sex ,family life ,security(financial as well as
    physical) women are quite different from men in attitude and wishes.please be kind
    enough to tell us about women also (the different types they belong to).

    Reply
  7. Letitia

    Men get sex too easily from Women these days ..simple..all of the complaints above have the same underlying problem. Men are simpler than us emotionally, more reticent and at the same time more physical in their attraction. If they haven’t had time to get to know you and value you before sex..you look just like the last pu$$y he had, and there’s heaps of those about..be proud ladies and set the standard..don’t ALLOW these men to walk all over you in the first place.

    Reply
  8. M.Kohan

    I think you have pretty much picked every guy that there is to be, so now the girls have to go lesbian because the chances of finding Mr. perfect is slim to none and considering the over population of female vs. male there will be no other alternatives.!!!!

    Therefore come up with 17 Girls you should never date to balance it out. 😉

    Reply
  9. Konchan

    Guys, if you are sending ladies your pics, please don’t send the one with your ex on it. Free/clear? Spot a big time liar or cheater! Guys…. Most of us ladies don’t care when and how you are free and clear. It do or don’t need to hear it!!!

    Reply
  10. Susan

    Rosemary, I dated a guy like your Virgo but mine was a Scorpio/Libra cusp. Same problem though, he’d take calls from one of his ex [supposed]gf’s and talk to her in next room. I started bringing my own car so I could leave next time. You got to give them same medicine so he sees what you feel like ! Serial date or make him think you are too busy for him. Never cater to him, be a challenge, make him earn your respect etc. Or if too much effort , dump him and upgrade . I don’t hate my ex, only pity him now. His loss, not mine! Nice guys get burned by women who do same , maybe that is what happened but you don’t need to play therapist unless you choose to stick it out. Good luck!

    Reply
  11. Jerry M

    Whats the agenda here? People make their own own decisions without listening to some guy tooting his opinion. That’s all it is. Go find your N.U.T.S. dude! If you even know what that is … and what real “men” have!

    Reply
  12. Foggy Mind

    Dated a Virgo guy – was the biggest liar I ever met. At the the age of 41 he still living with his mom when he is not in jail – what a loser!!!!

    Reply
  13. mary

    #10 – look out. watch and listen to what is up with him. you may choose the underroos and worry about the peanuts – but you should be worried if he has cut the umbilical cord with mom. i had a momma’s boy and now i have a divorce. he ran to her with every single problem he had and she didn’t like me at all after a few years. didn’t consider me to be family and was very controlling and he couldn’t say no to her.

    Reply
  14. Zarinah

    #12 Mr. Keeps coming back. What’s wrong with him? Especially if he is coming at a convenient time? Isn’t that more condusive to a stable relationship? Is the goal to have 3 or 4 at a time and if so , doesn’t that fit the definition of risky behavior?

    Reply
  15. Angela

    This is so true to have read there are guys out there that really need to be by themselves and leave everybody else alone.

    Reply
  16. Rose

    To My Dearest California’s Psychic,

    Its so very interesting when I read this column. about 17 Guys you should never date.
    When I read all of this, I laugh and I laugh, bec I can’t imagine that theres a guy’s as like this. Just only now that its remind myself to open my mind.

    Thanks for this advice…. Thanks a lot…

    Yours truly,

    Rose

    Reply
  17. KB

    #1, #7, #10, #11 (Yes he bashes his entire family including mommy, but still wasn’t courageous enough to take me home to her because she suggested he needed a break from me lol), #13 (anyone who is in a relationship for years and still has match.com account, need to flirt with every girl he comes in contact with and lie at home to be with them is nothing short of insecured bastard), #15 (Breaking a heart may just be an understatement, broke my spirit to ever believe in love again would be appropriate), #17 (Been hearing for 3 years out of 4 we were together; even moved in with him against my will, used me for anything and everything he possibly could from money to emotional support, ring never came, blamed me for being angry and upset over the years because he got caught cheating and lying and disappeared literally in a span of 1 week after promising and showing me which ring he was going to get lol) ——————————- All those qualities in one man ——-

    Reply
  18. rosemary

    married a virgo,not the greatest,egotistical,braggert,and real ladies man,always looking at the women and right in front of me. he doesn’te ee anything wrong with it. we were at a very upscale restaurant,sitting at the bar, he totally ignored me for cloase to an hour whilr he talked with a bartender, a female of course,with boobs hanging out,he saw nothing wrong with this. another time again at a very upscale place, i looked up, and, he was dancing with another woman,in front of me again. he hates to dance he tells me, and never asks me to dance, he hates it. i also overheard him tell a co worker he had a girlfriend, he met at the airport,and had her that night,and when he doesn’t get it at home he sees her. i have told him i heard him, but he denies this up and down. so, now, i don”t visit my kids anymore and i quit working.i would like to leave,but i have bills i need to pay off.someday soon,i a few years i hope to get out of here,if i’m still alive, now he watches i.d. channel and all the murder cases, hope i’m not next.

    Reply
  19. chris hess

    i would like to know if there are lists of women not to date,it seems its pretty one sided on alot of topics here..alot of topics on men…not women..just a suggestion..thank you

    Reply
  20. -quinn

    a few more to add to the list 🙂

    the guy who is prettier than you –
    the gym rats –
    the guy whose shoe size and IQ are the same –
    the guy whose name is tom cruz –
    the guy who still smokes cigs. – yuck….

    great article.

    Reply
  21. matt

    I take offense that “guys” are being singled out here. It goes both ways my friend. Why don’t you feature 17 women you should never date? A wee bit chauvinistic..

    Reply
  22. michael

    I keep being promised that I will get my “free” five minute reading. And each and every time I also am being told that the conversation will even automatically terminate after 5 minutes to assure that promise. Why is it that every time I start the process to get my “free” reading, I am required to submit my credit card information.? If it’s free, then it should be free of any information like that as well. Why would you need my credit card info unless you were planning on billing at some point and time. ?!?? And I have read some “reviews” about California Psychics that seem to indicate that the reason that you are asking for credit card info is because there are customers that are being fraudulently charged. I am not making any accusations, I am simply stating what I have read. If you are wanting my business, you have to earn it. By earning my TRUST. That begins with a true, free, five minute reading without any payment info submitted on my part. Then if I am satisfied with both the reading itself and the customer friendly service, then you will more than likely earn my trust as well as some of my money as I will be willing to purchase your product for future readings. Otherwise please just discontinue any future emails from your company. Thank you for your time

    Reply
  23. angela a

    I was involved w/ “Lukewarm Larry” and when the truth eventually came out- (it always does),
    I had complete understanding why he went through life NUMB: (child sex abuse). When some-
    one behaves strangely, there’s a good reason behind it and it seldom has anything to do w/ you….

    Reply
  24. cladyred

    This was a great read! I am still laughing sooo hard. Every word extremely true; although, as a woman, I must admit some of these are true to my personality as well. 😉

    Reply
  25. MR.T.L.C.

    MY COMMENT IS IM THE GUY WHO HAS TO ASK MY WIFE. NOT NO OTHER FEMALE OK…. WHEN YOU ARE MARRIED 42 YEARS ITS A MAYBE OR YES OR (NO). – – 07/18/2012 – – USA

    Reply

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