All in a dream
Todd in Portland writes:
After nearly 12 years, my wife and I divorced amicably last month. We still love and value each other, but it was apparent it was time to move on. (I was born in Silverton, Oregon at 10:54 am, on April 27, 1961, She was born in Yokohama, Japan at 9:56, on July 10, 1963).
We have continued to live together just as we did before the divorce. We have basically lived as loving roommates for many years. Even though I loved her, I never felt a strong chemistry for her sexually.
When I was a child, I had a powerful dream that I had been a cowboy or some such person in the early American days, and was killed. A Native American woman tried to help by putting me on a drag sled behind a horse to get help, but I did not make it. I still remember the dream vividly after all these years – in fact, some years ago, it came to me rather powerfully that my wife might have been that woman.
Fast forward to a few years ago when I somehow was powerfully drawn to a woman that I met while I was away on business. For both of us, it was incredibly magnetic and seemingly unstoppable. I told my wife about it almost immediately, as I felt I was jumping off a cliff like a lemming – as if I was compelled toward this woman. During the course of our relationship, I had a dream that I was a mid or upper-level official of the Chinese government in a previous life, and she was a concubine who I cared for deeply.
Then just prior to our divorce, my wife came home from work, sat me down and told me she felt she had found her soulmate. I congratulated her and said I was happy for her, but then came the reality that I was losing her. I told her I had expected to hear this the day before, and felt I knew the man, because I had “seen” him come to the door of our home to take my wife on a date, as I welcomed him in and felt the mixed sense of happiness and loss as I saw how happy they were to see each other. I surprised her by describing this man.
During the time we discussed divorce, I had an overwhelming vision of this man in that early American period which I spoke of, walking up behind me as she looked on. This man killed me. I felt instantly that her new love in this life was, in fact, her husband in that time, and I had done something to make him very jealous.
Could it be that I just have a wild imagination, or am creating these “visions” because they conveniently categorize the events of my life? My wife has always had an intense interest in Mayan culture. We both wonder if she had a previous life in that era.
I feel I can be comfortable and happy on my own now, but truly I long for a loving and happy relationship with a good and loving soul. I continue to be so drawn to the Asian culture that I seem to have little interest in an American woman. Is there any way you may be able to decipher what might be a cause for my “wild imagination” or state of mind? I have read that my purpose in this life is essentially to find spiritual, relational and financial balance, but isn’t that the case for everyone? Might you be able to help me find some direction in my life, so that I can move toward my higher purpose?
I will be helping my ex-wife move away tomorrow. We both have intensely mixed feelings, yet both realize it may be our fate. Sometimes I feel I may simply be out of my element. Thank you so much for any guidance you might be able to offer.
I think your dreams are indeed past-life recollections – and a vivid portrayal of how karma works in relationships. Our most compelling attractions are to those we’ve known in other lifetimes. Your wife tried to save your life in a previous incarnation, and your soul remembered her kindness and was drawn to her in this life. Likewise, you’ve shared an existence with the man she’s seeing, but jealously and murder earned him a karmic black mark. Now the tables are turned. Your test is to not let jealousy get in the way of your wife’s happiness. You seem to want to wish them well, even though you have mixed feelings about letting her go. It seems your karma with her has been completed, at least where your marriage is concerned.
What’s intriguing about your connection to her astrologically is that her Sun (individuality), Venus (love) and Mercury (communications) fall into your 12th-house of past lives and the unconscious. Perhaps this psychic (unconscious) connection is why you’re able to tune into your past lives together. Also, you have Venus in Aries in the 9th house of foreigners, hence your attraction to Asian women. Your Sun and Mercury in Taurus and Moon in Libra are all ruled by Venus, so love and beauty are important to you. A balanced life is certainly a necessity with Moon in Libra, which is symbolized by the scales. Your Leo ascendant says you have a creative path to fulfill, in a very concrete (Taurus) way. From December 2007 through most of 2008, lucky Jupiter will transit through your work sector and shine on your Taurus placements in your career sector, so keep your eyes open for career opportunities.
I hope this helps!